


Blue Blood is the Mark of Kings

by KirstissyM



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Character Death, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Fluff, Past Abuse, Slow Build, Swearing, original android character - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2019-07-07 10:02:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 42
Words: 87,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15906054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KirstissyM/pseuds/KirstissyM
Summary: Tension is rising in Detroit, as more and more cases of androids going rogue appear around the city. Free from their original programming, it is seen as a virus, a deviation. For Alexandria Vale, it is something she believes has been a long time coming.





	1. Prelude

**Author's Note:**

> I've had the idea of this story running about my head for a week or so, and i've finally got around to writing something.
> 
> I've been really inspired by other authors on this site, particularly in the Detroit: Become Human fandom.
> 
> Comments always welcome :)

**Research Archive: Public Article Database**

**Article No.** 455709

 

Excerpt from the article:

 

_We all bleed the Same Way: An Analysis of Android and Human Psychology and our relationship with Artificial Intelligence in the 21 st Century_

 

 **Published** : 2036, Newline Publishing: Detroit (electronic article)

 **Author/s** : Alexandria Vale (MA)

 **Topic/s** : Psychology, Artificial Intelligence

 

What is sentience?

What is it that sets us apart from other animals, that makes us ‘us’?

Some might say it is our ability to analyse, to reach a point in our existence in which we realise _what_ we are and what that means in the world we live in. To learn and adapt, to seek beyond ourselves and our own needs, to feel. To long for something more than our basic day to day.

In the year 2022, an android created by Cyberlife passed the Turning test; Chloe. This was a turning point in technological advancement that had not been witnessed for at least several decades. Chloe had been able to blend in with the species she was made in the image of, and did so faultlessly.

This, as any new and potentially frightening advancement before it, unnerved the public. Curiosity turned to fear, resentment and for some eventually hatred. They were similar, yet different. Human, but not. What was worse, was the fact that they were perfect.

Perfect looks, perfect bodies, perfect skills for specific tasks. Perhaps if androids did not share such semblance with their creators, this resentment would not arise. A machine, that is built for a purpose and would not complain nor tire. For many, androids are a very real threat to our lives, jobs and relationships.

Where have we heard this before?

It has become a common theme throughout time that when change happens for the worse, people look for something or someone to blame. The 18th century had the industrial revolution, and throughout history the fear that outsiders would take over jobs and land has come up time and time again. This new age of technology is only another one of these events, and it will not be the last.

Cyberlife's stance on the matter is that their androids are machines, capable of doing any task that their creators can with absolute efficiency. They are considered merely objects, bought and sold as one would a television. Despite being questioned about the true nature and sentience of their own creations, they have not been shown to care for the idea that they possibly deserve rights. Autonomy. The ability and freedom to go against their coding.

When you look at an android, what do you see? A copy of ourselves, perfected? A pale imitation of something that cannot be replicated with mechanical parts?

Can they develop the ability to feel pain, loss, fear, hatred? Love?

 

DNA is our coding, blood is our thirium.

 

_End of excerpt…_

**\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**-UPDATE- 20/4/38**

**Article considered for removal due to:**

-Defamation

 

**This issue was brought to our attention by:**

Cyberlife

**Please contact the electronic publisher for more details.**

**\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

 


	2. Equals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'It is not enough to live together in peace, with one race on its knees.'
> 
> \- Daniel H. Wilson, Robopocalypse

In retrospect, it wasn’t surprising that your favourite film was Blade Runner.

Several times so far in your life, you second guessed why you decided that pushing for android rights was a good career choice. The word ‘career’ being used very loosely here, since after you left university it became more of a side project. The consensus of the public regarding androids didn’t help the matter. Despite the setbacks and the belittling from your peers, you had dug your feet deep in the sand and stood fast. What did you have to show for your persistence? Angry commenters and a population that cared very little for your opinions.

Such is the life of a graduate with a ‘useless’ degree and a ‘controversial’ opinion.

Your eyes watered as you stared into the empty document pulled up on her screen. You had woken up at some stupid hour, your brain insisting that it had a fresh idea that needed to write down _immediately_. Unfortunately, by the time you had got up and booted the computer, said idea had fizzled and burned in the void which was your mind.

_God damn it._

Managing to regain enough control of sleep-addled mind, you slap her hands over your eyes and let out a groan. _Why_ did you wake up?

A voice by the door made you jump. Your mind immediately jumped to the worst scenario it could think of (of course), and you felt your heart pounding far too fast for this time in the morning. You turned towards the door, eyes wide and fearful like a rabbit in headlights. Thankfully, it was a familiar figure that stood peering at her through the barely lit room.

“Holy shit Kay, don’t do that.”

You slumped back down in the desk chair, rubbing your eyes again for good measure.

“What where you saying?”

“It’s 4:47 in the morning Alex, I was concerned as to why you were awake”.

To be honest, you had no real answer to that. Seriously, why were you awake? Alex could barely make him out in the darkness, except of course for his LED. That was a bit of a give-away. To anyone else, it would have looked menacing seeing him standing there through the darkness. For you, it was a relief.

You shrugged.

“Thought I had an idea, guess not anymore.”

You got up, switching off the computer with all the grace of a drunk chimpanzee, and padded across the carpet towards the android.

“You don’t need to worry about me Kay, seriously.”

“But I do.”

You couldn’t help but give him a lopsided grin.

“Right back at you.”

He returned the smile. Not some fake, put on one that everyone else believes androids are only capable of. You had no doubt that it was real.

In these moments with Kay, you knew that what you were doing was the right thing. It was easy enough at times to forget that he was made out of parts and not flesh.

This moment didn’t last long, as Kay seemed to regress back into ‘android worker mode’. His face set itself back to a default neutral state.

“It is my duty to help with-“

“Kay- “

“I can make some hot chocolate, or chamomile tea which is known for-“

“Kay, I- “

“-effective use for humans having difficulty –“

“Stop.”

You gently took his face in your hands, moving it until he met your eyes. Kays LED was flickering orange, but his cloudy grey eyes did not leave your own.

“You don’t need to do anything for me, okay? We’re equals here, always have been.”

He looked conflicted; brows furrowed and eyes downcast. You hated it when this happened, and it still did happen despite your words of encouragement and acceptance. It’s hard to change something that is literally hard- wired into someone.

“I’ll never order you to do something, you’re worth more than that.” You pinged his nose playfully, “So don’t start going all servant on me, alright?”

Kay seemed to calm, his LED changing back into the cool blue it was before.

“Most other humans don’t share your view point.”

You snorted, making your way back to our bed.   

‘Well, _‘most other’_ humans can fuck off.”

 


	3. Virtual Realities of an Artist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'As the Internet of things advances, the very notion of a clear dividing line between reality and virtual reality becomes blurred, sometimes in creative ways. '
> 
> Geoff Mulgan

It’s an extremely human thing to see imperfection in anything and everything one does. ‘I didn’t try hard enough’, ‘I talked too much’, ‘my nose is that little bit off centre’.

This tree does not look like a goddamn tree.

Huffing, you homed in on the offending part of the painting; the stupid tree. Opening the virtual tool set with a flic of your wrist, you took your time to try and rectify the mistake.

Digital art certainly made leaps and bounds since she was little, and now it had become somewhat of a virtual reality mixed with 3D art. It made art more interesting, something you could literally step into and view. Layers that you could add infinite detail to.

Losing hours of your life to the intricate details of a tree.

Since starting essays and dissertations during university, you realised just how much you enjoyed writing. Unfortunately, writing articles on android autonomy didn’t pay bills, especially with Cyberlife breathing down your neck.

Instead, you turned to your other favourite pastime; art. As soon as you moved to Detroit and settled into University, you made sure to get your foot into galleries and an art group. Meeting like-minded people in a place you were new to really helped get you settled. Those connections paid off, and you were able to meet a hero of yours; Carl Manfred. Thanks to him, you made quite good money from your pieces. It’s amazing where association can get you.

‘Don’t go to art school’ Your mother warned so, like a ‘good child’, you didn’t. You still weren’t sure if that was a good decision or not.

Holding your hand over the tree, you were able to zoom into the painting further by closing your fingers in a pinching action. The pen set to work, glided over the virtual tree, adding darker hues and detail. You let out a sigh of relief feeling that bit better about that damn tree. For now, anyway.

Reversing your previous hand motion, the painting zoomed out back to its original place. A wooded landscape, each layer went further into the woods, revealing new elements the further you ‘travelled’.

Pulling down the menu, you saved and exited the virtual Artscape. It took a few seconds of rapid blinking to get used to the light of your room after taking the headset off.

In all honesty, you still preferred good old fashioned physical art. There was just something magical about creating them physically that virtual art couldn’t compare to.

You stretched, hearing an unhealthy crack, and wandered off to the kitchen/living space. Kay was sitting on the couch, reading something rather intently on his Pad. There was a stiffness in his posture, his brow furrowed.

“Anything new and exciting going on?” You asked, grabbing a can from the fridge and wandering over to where he sat.

“There has been…another confirmed deviant that fled their owner.”

At this news, your mood immediately plummeted. You leant over the back of the sofa, peering over Kay’s shoulder for a look. Looking back at you was the face of the android who ran off, or at least the model. If your memory served, they were a domestic servant android.

“No violence, they just disappeared from their owner’s home.” Kay’s jaw was set as he turned his neck to look at you.

“Why do you think she left?”

You bit the inside of your cheek, turning the thought in your mind. You had been trying for years to understand androids and the possibility that they could develop past their initial programming. When deviant cases appeared, it was both an exciting development, and an unnerving one.

“We don’t know the full story, probably never will. If she was in a dangerous household or if she just broke past her programming, they won’t tell us.”

“Why?”

“Because android stories are rarely told. They don’t care why she left, just the fact that she _did_.”

Kay turned back to the news article, scrolling down the page. The comments written by the author clearly showed his less than friendly view of androids. Alex scoffed at a line;

“‘ _Despite the owner claiming that the android did not leave violently, how can we be sure that it won’t attack anyone else if it has become deviant_?’ Utter bullshit; scaremongering asshole.”

You took an angry swig of the can and smacked it (perhaps a little too hard) onto the table behind you. The sheer ting it made as it hit the table made you wince. Today was going well. Kay closed the article and let the Pad land on the couch. His LED blinked yellow.

“Alex, do you remember that you have to deliver one of your paintings?”

You stared at him blankly staring at a point on the wall. You let out an ‘ah!’ clicking your fingers in realisation.

“Oh dang! Thanks for reminding me, I swear I left a sticky not somewhere about it.”

“You did, and yet you still forgot.”

Kay gave her a snarky look, and you gave him one right back.

“That was just a one off; there’s a lot of stuff going on, can’t remember everything can I?”

“I had to remind you the last time, and of a dentist appointment, and- “

You held up your hands in mock surrender.

“Okay, okay, getting the picture. Speaking of which- “

After taking a final glug out of the can, you made your way to the ‘studio’ with Kay close behind. It was barely a spare room, with just enough space to fit an easel and a few boxes for paintings. The two of you worked together to wrap-up the painting, slipping a business card in for good measure. Kay usually did the heavy lifting, and he followed you out the flat door and down the escalator.

“You know- “You began saying, helping Kay manoeuvre the painting into the little car;

“-if you started painting, we’d earn twice as much.”

With a last gentle push, the painting was positioned securely, and the boot was closed. Kay shook his head as he opened the driver’s door.

“It’s not something I enjoy, I do however enjoy viewing it.”

_Well, can’t fault me for trying._

You pulled your jacket tighter as a gust of wind swirled past. The colder weather was really beginning to set in.

Bundling yourself into the car next to Kay, you set off to the customers house.

“Perhaps I could try sculpting, or music instead.”

 You let out a mock gasp.

“How very against your programming, Kay.”

Kay went stiff.

“That’s not something Cyberlife would want me to do.”

His voice was low and unsure. You turned to him, worried that you might have triggered something, went a bit too far. Instead of worry or fear, the bastard was smirking;

 “Oh well.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks for the kudos from my first chapters!
> 
> I've got several chapters already written, just putting them out slowly as I read through them and change things up as I go. Plus, I don't want the story to catch up with me too soon.
> 
> Next chapter will be up tomorrow :)


	4. Delivery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quite an experience to live in fear, isn't it? That's what it is to be a slave.
> 
> \- Roy Batty, Bladerunner

It didn’t take too long to find the house, but it felt like you’d driven into a completely different city. The houses here were immaculate, as were their streets and the people who walked them. You people watched as Kay drove closer to your destination but found that most of the ‘people’ were in fact androids. Fitness companions jogged alongside their owners, nannies were walking with buggy’s and gardeners worked on the various plants that dotted the area. All androids.

Kay pulled up alongside another well-kept home and glanced over at you.

“I’m surprised how many androids are here, there seems to be more of them than humans.”

An android street cleaner passed by brushing the sidewalk, his blank-yet-content expression rubbed you the wrong way.

“They’re just doing the work nobody else wants to do.”

Your attention turned to the house that loomed in front of them.

The house itself was a feat of design and engineering. Windows that stretched from the ground floor to the first, showing of the finery that sat inside. Every flower was perfectly placed, so much so that they didn’t even look real. Maybe they weren’t. A small fountain sat in front, alongside their sleek sports car. It screamed ‘we have money’.

Lifting the painting with ease, Kay followed closely behind you. You felt your stomach twist, suddenly feeling a bit anxious about the whole thing. You had never met the customer, having communicated through business e-mail. They offered a good sum of money for a commission, though. Considering your current financial state, you could hardly say no.

A cheery doorbell echoed through the house, and an equally cheery android greeted you both soon after. He seemed to be an older model; dressed in a formal suit and wearing a friendly yet unfeeling smile.

“Good afternoon, may I ask as to the intention of your visit?” His voice was so pleasantly welcoming, that you felt yourself calming down, if only a bit. Shifting you bag out the way, you dug a hand into your jacket pocket and produced a business card.

“I’m Alexandria Vale, I have a commission for Mr and Mrs Rowles?”

The android peered at the card, and then at Kay who was stood behind you. His LED flashed yellow.

“You are very much welcome inside Miss Vale. However, your android must remain outside.”

Your tongue seemed to fail, and you could only make a noise of confusion from the back of your throat. You cursed herself inwardly for sounding pathetic, especially when the android looked at you with a degree of confusion.

You cleared your throat to speak, but Kay beat you to it.

“That’s alright. I’ll wait in the car until you return.”

You wanted to protest, but Kay was already passing the painting to the customers android. At this point, there was no use in arguing about it.

You gave him a reassuring smile.

“I’ll be back soon, just don’t drive off without me if I take too long.”

Kay nodded, a sliver of a smile crossed his face before he turned and walked back to the car.

 

 

You begrudgingly went in alone, and the work was accepted with compliments. You couldn’t get the fact that Kay had to wait outside out of your head, it just did feel _right._ Sure enough, the customers treated their androids like robot butlers; hardly even acknowledging them.

You were glad to be out of the house.

Kay was waiting as expected; head in his hand and a Pad in the other. He was the epitome of bored. The car door slamming shut took him out of his little world.

“Did it go well?”

“Slightly awkward, but probably as well as it could have.”

Kay pulled out from the curb and made the journey back home. Back to the less fancy part of Detroit. Still, it was home.

A comfortable silence fell over the car, the pleasant sound of the engine humming in your ears. That was until Kay broke the silence by trying out a joke he found.

“Alex, how does a train eat?”

“Oh god…okay, how?”

He was already giggling to himself before the punchline. Actually giggling.

“They ‘chew-chew’.”

You gave him a drool look.

“You see, it’s funny because the word ‘chew’ is also used in an onomatopoeic- “

“You’re not supposed to explain why the jokes a joke you know.”

Kay’s face dropped.

“Ah, I see. I’ll remember that for my next great joke.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle at his response, and his face lit up again. At least he stopped looking like you had drowned his goldfish.

You snuggled closer in your seat, leaning your head on the window as you watched the streets pass by in a mix of greys and neon.

“By the way, not letting you into the house was bullshit.”

Kay shrugged, turning left through the busy roads. You drove nearby a group of anti-android protestors heckled a passing android. Although you couldn’t hear what they were saying, it wasn’t hard to imagine. It made your blood boil. Kays response didn’t help either.

“It’s just how the world works. It’s unfortunate, but it’s the way things are.”

You watched as the android was pushed to the ground by an aggressive protestor. The car passed by the scene and stopped at a light. You turned back to see them kicking the android as he lay there, defenceless.

No one went to help. No one took a second glance at the android who was being beaten. No one cared.

You were ready to jump out, damn what other people thought of her. That was until a lone man walked out of the crowded street and stood between the android and their assailant. He helped him up and walked him away from the protestors.

He was berated as he walked by, but he kept going.

He acted in a way that could get him ostracised from other people, yet he still did it.

As Kay drove off, you felt your faith in humanity restore itself.

That was until you checked your phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgot to mention before, but this story may become a rather slow burn depending how many chapters I write. Connor will show up later, so don't worry.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading, and for the Kudos!


	5. Of Ex's and Bottlecaps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.'
> 
> \- Mark Twain

‘I miss you’

That was all the message said. The number was unfamiliar, but you could guess who had sent it. Glaring at those seemingly innocent words for a few seconds, you swiped your mobile off and slipped it back into your pocket. You heard Kay shift in his seat, probably sensing something was off.

Thankfully, he knew you better than to ask when you were like this.

By the time you returned home, you had tried to push the message to the back of your mind. Maybe it was a bit naïve to think it was just wrong number, but for now that’s what you chose to believe.

First things first; a drink.

After digging around for a bottle opener, you pull the top open with a ‘pop’ and took a swig. You held up the bottle cap to the light, examining the logo.

“Think its aaa…bear with…wings? Do’yah have that one yet?”

Kay took the cap and turned it in his fingers, as gently as if he were examining a precious gem.

“No, this one’s new. I’ll add it to my collection.”

You watched him walk away over to his room, still twisting and turning the top. You took another sip and giggled.

“Well if I keep this up, we’ll have a bottlecap hoarding problem.”

Either he didn’t hear or didn’t care to comment on your ‘joke’. Since his hearing was beyond the ability of most humans, you figured it was the latter. Ah well.

Finding a cosy spot on your sofa, you sat down with your drink, a pillow held to your stomach and your phone in your spare hand. Multitasking at its finest.

You checked through your business e-mails and saw an order for a digital painting was cancelled. Apparently, they found out your pro-android opinions and decided they didn’t want to give you money. That had happened before, and probably wouldn’t be the last time.

Another e-mail grabbed your attention though, asking if you would talk at a university debate regarding android rights. You had done speeches before, and one or two debates while still at university. Things would be a little different than before, especially now that all the business with deviants was happening. Doing something like this often had its share of problems when it came to business, so you took your time to think about it.

Taking another sip of alcohol for courage, you posted a response saying that you were happy to attend. No turning back now.

You were just about to leave a message with Carl, when a text message alert popped up. Another anonymous sender;

‘We can put all that shit behind us, can’t we?’

You knew now, without a doubt that it was Liam Turner, your less than wonderful ex. You’d met him when you joined an art group years ago at university, but this was the first time after you broke up that he had contacted you. He probably found your number on your art blog and was now back to harassing you. Great.

Buzz.

‘Seriously, this is Lex right?’

Buzz.

‘It’s definitely you.’

_‘And I know it’s definitely you, you asshole.’_

Buzz.

‘Come oon, you can’t seriously hold grudges forever.’

You ignored it once more, taking a large gulp from your bottle.

Buzz.

‘Leexxy. Please pick up!!! X’

Why couldn’t he just leave you alone. He wanted you to answer back, pull you back into the wormhole that was your relationship with him. You weren’t going back there again. The alcohol burned down your throat as you took a deep gulp.

Buzz. Buzz.

‘For FUCKS SAKE Lex answer your fucking text.’

A minute or two of silence, then;

Buzz.

‘You’re being really fucking pathetic; do you realise that?’

The tone shift made your body cold. He wasn’t here with you, but you could almost hear his voice in your ear. He never yelled or screamed when he was angry, it was always eerily monotone. Leering over you so that you curled up and he towered over you. You froze up.

It was just words on a screen, but to you they brought back memories that you’d sooner forget.

It kept buzzing and buzzing, but your eyes were fixed in a stare towards the floor. You were stuck, unmoving.

The buzzing finally stopped, and your stare was broken by Kay who had sat down beside you. He held your hand, squeezing it in reassurance.

“He won’t be able to contact you anymore, I blocked his number remotely.”

You couldn’t stop the few tears that trickled down your cheeks. You shook your head in denial, pulling away from him in a vain attempt to get out of the conversation.

“No, you-… he won’t just give up, he’s…”

Kay held firm, his eyes finding yours through your wall of hair that separated the both of you.

“I won’t let him hurt you, I promise Alex.”

You sniffled, wiping the back of your hand across your eyes.

“Don’t promise something you can’t keep.”

You stood as Kay remained where he was, a look of confusion marred his features. His LED was spinning yellow, with a flicker of red. You tried to busy yourself, hoping that he might drop the topic and let things go back to normality. Whatever the hell that was. Kay sprang suddenly, fists clenched and jaw set.

“I mean it. He will. Not. Harm. You. Not while I’m here to stop him.”

was such conviction in his voice, such emotion the likes you had never heard from him. From any human’s mouth, it may have sounded corny, something you’d hear in an old drama with cheesy lines. From an android, from him, it was enlightening.

Kay swayed slightly, catching himself before he tripped over. It was as if the powerful emotion he had experienced physically winded him. You had always encouraged him to do what made him happy, try new things and ask questions. This emotional response seemed to trigger a realisation over what he was, what he had been for a while now.

He held his chest, as if it hurt. His fist clenched over where his thyrium pump sat.

“I have…I’m…deviating from my programming, aren’t I?”

He sounded unsure, but not afraid. There was a sense of realisation in his voice, a curiosity in his tone.

“To be honest, I think you’ve been a deviant for a while now.”

Kay raised a tentative eyebrow.

You sniffled, hiccupping as you chuckled to yourself;

“Did you really think that bottle cap collecting was part of your initial programming?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for the kudos,it always makes me smile to know people are enjoying the story.
> 
> I'm still chugging along with chapters, so there's quite a few that are ready (with a few tweaks before I post).


	6. KD300

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'You were designed and built specific like the rest of us... and you are alone now only because they tired of you... or replaced you with a younger model... or were displeased with something you said or broke. They made us too smart, too quick and too many. We are suffering for the mistakes they made because when the end comes, all that will be left is us. That's why they hate us. And that is why you must stay here... with me.'
> 
> \- Gigolo Joe, A.I Artificial Intelligence

After the revelations and emotions of yesterday evening, the two of you went about the morning as usual, as if nothing had changed. That was just the way you liked it.

Kay seemed to be more relaxed however, more at ease with himself. It made you smile as you watched him check on the group of plants he kept in his room, treating each with such love and attention. He hummed a familiar tune that you couldn’t quite place. He had grown so much from the android you had taken back to the house, and you were proud of him for it.

You really wanted to write something about his experience, of course you wouldn’t name Kay but use his story to show others what deviants really experience. To show the public that deviancy wasn’t something to be feared. Thanks to the increasing hatred and the rise of deviant cases, you had written less and less about the subject in the last couple of weeks. This was purely because you had a run in with some very angry anti-android protestors who had threatened your life and Kay’s after he read one of your articles.

Not that they were the first or only ones, but it was the first time you felt that it was a real danger.

A ding-ding from your phone reminded you that you had an interview (of sorts) with a woman and her android in two hours. It was something you did to try and understand the relationships between androids and humans. What made the relationship work, what didn’t? You tried to interact with a broad spectrum of people, even those who were not of the opinion that androids had rights. It was essential, though, for you to get a broad range of opinions.

You snagged an apple from the table-top and went through the news headlines before you got ready to go. Nothing particularly good appeared; the usual mix of feel-good and doom and gloom. Another case of an android going missing, and one who was suspected of being deviant and taken back to Cyberlife to be reset. The idea of Kay going through that made you shiver.

It was a very real threat, even if he was safe with you. You might be happy with Kay being deviant, but very few others would agree.  Soft footsteps padded into the Livingroom right on que.

“Speak of the devil” You patted the pillow next to you, and Kay took the hint.

“Right, so, you know you’ve come to terms or whatever with being ‘deviant’ right?”

Kay nodded slowly.

“Well, you know not everyone will be understanding about it?”

Kay snorted, his disdain for those types of people as clear as day.

“I know, it’s still a relatively _alien_ concept for most humans to grasp.”

“So, you understand you can’t draw attention, they’d be on you like wolves.”

You noticed his hands clench and unclench in his lap. You eye the glinting model number on his chest; ‘KD300’. A symbol of who he was, and his status in society as an object. You couldn’t imagine how difficult it must be to hide who you are like this, for fear of being reset or dismantled. You were surprised when his eyes met yours, a pleasant smile plastered across his face. It reminded you of the street sweeper you saw yesterday.

“Of course, I will appear to them as your faithful servant. Is there anything that I may do, ma’am? Rub your feet? Do your housework? Stand in the corner and stare the wall for 3 hours?”

You couldn’t help but laugh, and seeing you made him follow suit. He sounded so damn serious about it too. You tapped your chin in thought.

“Hmm, now that you mention it…”

“No.”

“But Kaaay…”

“No.”

You blew a raspberry at him and headed to your room to get ready. You wanted to at least look professional for this meeting.

After spending far too long looking for that _one_ jumper, you bundled up into a cosy jacket and grabbed your satchel. Kay, of course, was waiting by the door. He may be deviant, but he was still a stickler for being on time it would seem.

Stumbling over a shoe on the way to the door, you didn’t particularly feel like the epitome of ‘professional’. In your rush, you had thrown together what you liked to call the ‘good enough’ look. Kay clicked his tongue as he saw you approach. Kay helped you sort yourself out (as well as he could, considering), making you feel like a toddler who put their clothes on the wrong way around. In this scenario Kay was your dad. Or mum. _Definitely_ more like your mum.

The weather, of course, hated you and seemed to be much warmer than you anticipated (for this part of the year anyway). You were already running a bit later than you wanted to be, so you just left as you were. All that fuss for nothing.

As Kay drove you down the busy streets, you reflected on what had transpired yesterday. You were happy that Kay had come to terms with his deviation and wouldn’t have it any other way. But something still bugged you, a worry that ate away at the back of your mind. May as well ask him now.

“Are you…happy, Kay? I mean living with me?”

He gave you a sideways glance, his eyebrow quirked.

“Where did that come from?”

“It’s just- “

You turned your gaze to your lap, fiddling with your satchel clip;

“You might not want to stay with me, especially now that you, yah know.”

“Where would I go otherwise? It’s not like I could just go out and buy a house.”

There was an edge to his voice. He was obviously feeling trapped by the limitations the law placed on androids. He was right though, what _would_ he do if he wanted to leave?

“I do like staying with you though, so don’t start thinking that I’ll just leave the first chance I get, okay?”

You snorted.

“You’re just saying that to get back on my good side, I’m not fooled.”

He smirked.

“Damn, saw right through me.”

Just hearing him say that; in his snarky, deadpan sense of humour, it made you smile. Nothing had changed between you both, it put you at ease.

The city looked that bit brighter today, more inviting than it usually did. You stretched, glancing over at a very animated Kay as he tried out another one of his jokes. In that moment, it was just the two of you and some stupid puns. The rest of the world could wait a bit longer.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a bit more insight into Kay and Alex. 
> 
> I have to say as I was writing Kay he really grew on me and I love him to bits <3
> 
> The quote I popped on the top of this chapter may give an insight into Kay's history (sort of).  
> Also, if anyone figured out who I (sort of) based Kay off, kudos to you.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading :)


	7. Meeting a Mother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Being a mother is an attitude, not a biological relation.” 
> 
> \- Robert A. Heinlein, Have Spacesuit - Will Travel

You arrived at a far more modest area than the last place they travelled to. That wasn’t to say that it was entirely welcoming. The street was littered with ‘for sale’ signs, and some homes were boarded up. The area was probably once very nice, but that time had come and gone. You could only guess that they had to move thanks to the lack of jobs here in Detroit.

You checked the address before pointing out a house for Kay to stop. It was dotted with various garden ornaments, and a bird table out the front. The garden was well tended to, and you could tell it was out of love rather than necessity. It really stood out as the most welcoming of the houses around here.

Kay took in his surroundings, smiling to himself.

“It’s lovely, isn’t it?”

“A bit too old-fashioned for me but, yeah, it’s cosy.”

You were just about to knock when the door was all but flung open, and a small figure greeted you. It was a boy, about nine or ten. He looked up at you expectantly.

“Are you here to see mum? She’s through here, follow me.”

It took you a second to catch up with what just happened. Before you could even let out a word of acknowledgement, he had run off inside the house and out of sight. Until his head peaked round the doorway of a room.

“You okay? She’s here, come on.”

You could hear Kay chuckling behind you as you both stepped through the doorway.

“Sweet kid.”

“Far to hyper for me this time in the morning.”

The boy waited until they reached the doorway and then disappeared back inside.

In the furthest corner, sitting in a tall, cushiony chair sat whom you presumed was Mrs Lyons, your interviewee. She was…older than you expected, especially seeing as she had a young boy. The older woman gave the both of you a welcoming smile and gestured for you both to sit.

“I hope the roads weren’t too busy coming here, it can be madness sometimes.”

The young boy sat next to her on the arm of the chair, fiddling with a toy car. He seemed to be completely immersed, seemingly forgetting the two of you were here. His tongue even stuck out in concentration as he pulled and prodded his much-loved car.

You cleared your throat and thanked her for inviting you;

“…especially considering the tension that’s rising in the city.”

“Ah, I’m too old for caring what people think. You’ll feel the same way too when you’re my age.”

“Well, _I_ care about what you think, Mrs Lyons. I hope you’re willing to tell me, otherwise this’ll not be the most insightful of interviews.”

She let out a hearty laugh and got up, making her way past the two of you. She called back over her shoulder;

“Tea? Coffee?”

“Coffee, thank you.”

Nathan almost leaped over to you as soon as his mother left, jabbering excitedly about his range of toy cars. He seemed to love the fact there was someone new to talk to. You swear he never stopped for breath. Eventually, he ran out of the room; chattering something about his favourite car.

You took this moment to get your notepad out, jotting down your first impressions of this meeting. The house was designed with a child in mind; toys scattered everywhere, sharp corners were covered, and photos of Nathan were peppered everywhere. The whole feel of the house was one of a tightly knit, happy family. Of course, your main purpose here was to get to know both Mrs Lyons and her android (wherever he or she was).  

You leaned over into Kays side;

“Have you see an android anywhere?”

“He just left.”

“…What?”

You leaned forward, peering at the boy carefully taking a model car off a shelf. Sure enough, whilst his head was tilted you spotted his LED, which had been hidden before by his hair. Now that you thought about it, it made sense.

Android children were something you had heard of, but never met. For many, having an android child was a taboo subject.

 Nathan had completely taking you by surprise. The way he was programmed, it was uncanny to that of a real child. Was he programmed to love her unconditionally, using some sort of imprinting? Or was he like any other child who needed to gain trust and love from its ‘parent’.

Mrs Lyon returned shortly, offering you a steaming flowery mug before she sank into her own chair. She peered over her cup at Kay, her eyes twinkling.

“I’d offer, but I think I already know the answer you’d give me.”

“I appreciate the thought all the same.”

With that she relaxed back, cup in hand, as Nathan trotted back in with a new car in his arms. He pushed it into your lap, watching your reaction through wide blue eyes. You inspected the car he brought you, making impressed noises as you did.

“Wow! It’s really cool! I’m super jealous!”

He grinned, taking it back and holding it closely to his chest, before swooping to the floor with it in tow. Mrs Lyons watched him play, a warm expression played across her features.

“He means everything to me, more than you’d ever know.”

“How long have you-?”

“Three years on Thursday. We celebrate his birthday that day.”

Mrs Lyons looked at the boy, her son, with so much tenderness and love. It made your heart ache thinking about other android children who may not have this affection in their life. Hell, thinking about any child in less fortunate circumstances made it hurt.

You jotted down some notes about the boy and his mother but knew that the next question you wanted to ask could end the interview.

“May I ask a personal question? If you don’t want to answer just tell me and we won’t go any further with the subject.”

With an affirming nod from Mrs Lyons, you turned back to your notes;

“What made you decide to take on Nathan?”

She hesitated, the cup half-way to her lips. Mrs Lyons turned to Nathan and asked him to go play in his room for a while. Once the door was shut, she edged closer to the pair of you.

“I didn’t want him to hear, because I don’t want him to feel like he was…”

Her cup shook slightly in her hand as she spoke. You gently reached forward and touched her wrist, giving her a reassuring smile. Her hand fell on top of yours as she continued.

“I didn’t want him to feel like a replacement.”

So she may have had a child before, and she bought Nathan after their death? When people did buy child androids, this was apparently one of the most common reasons why. A way to get passed the pain of loss, to have a child that would be young forever.

Mrs Lyons sat her cup down and held her hands neatly in her lap. You gave her some space, sitting back.

“Only tell me what you want to, this isn’t an interrogation. Take your time.”

“Nathan is as much my son as Dylan was. They’re so different, and I love them both dearly.”

 “So, there is really no difference for you, emotionally, between a human child and an android child?”

Mrs Lyons smiled softly. Her eyes seemed to be focused somewhere beyond you, perhaps remembering a memory.

“Looking back at the years spent with Dylan, and the years I’m spending together with Nathan, I can tell you soundly that, no, there’s no difference. They are equally my children, no matter where or how they came to be.”

\-----------------------------------------------

Nathan watched you both go from the window, waving his toy at you as you both walked to the car. You waved back until he ducked out of view, after which you turned your attention to Kay.

He was still looking back at the empty window, looking deep in thought. You felt a question brewing.

“Alex; do you think that that child truly loved his mother, or was it just his programming telling him to?”

Your brows furrowed as you processed his question. How far _did_ programming go? Can you really program ‘love’?

You pushed Kay’s shoulder playfully, clicking your tongue.

“Gah, you’re really bumming me out, Kay.”

You fingered the slip of paper Mrs Lyons had given you; her name and number scrolled elegantly across it. She wanted to stay in touch, and considering she seemed to have little contact outside Nathan you felt it was a good idea to do so.

Slipping the paper carefully into your pocket, you headed off with Kay with a lot more questions than answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always thought the idea of android children was an interesting subject. Mostly because of A.I Artificial Intelligence, that made me cry so much.
> 
> Anywho, thank you for the Kudos, and for reading!


	8. Reflection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way--things I had no words for.'
> 
> \- Georgia O'Keeffe

**Comment –**

This is a load of hypothetical bull. Rhetoric from some graduate that thinks she knows how the world works.

 

**Comment –**

Androids are robots, humans are people: simple. Next, they’ll be saying that we should give rights to toasters!

 

**Comment –**

Fck you and you shitty fuking opinion!!!1! Androds arent fuckn peopel!!!

 

Such eloquence in that last comment.

You really wished they at least gave constructive criticism, but hey-ho. Welcome to the internet.

You had recently published some of your articles on your blog, in a (vain) attempt to try and reach out to people. It seemed to attract the wrong sort instead. There was the odd comment that agreed with you, but your favourites were the ones who challenged your views. Those ones made you want to prove them wrong.

Taking up your notes from earlier that day, you read through what you had down so far. Half of the words were illegible, crushed into margins and between lines and spaces. You cursed your past self for her rubbish note-taking skills.

What Kay asked you yesterday troubled you, especially when it came down to androids who were programmed to be compassionate or loving. At what point do you know that their programming has gone beyond its original purpose?

What happens to child androids if their owner (or ‘parent’) gets bored or has their own biological child? The idea of child androids always made you uncomfortable. The image of what is essentially a child being broken and abandoned by someone they are programmed to love, and trust made you feel ill.

Your head hurt thinking about it. People were so much easier to figure out in comparison.

“Are you alright? I know the conversation in the car made you feel uncomfortable.”

Kay stood awkwardly in the doorway, looking like a child who did something wrong and wanted to apologise. You shook your head, plopping your notebook down on your desk with a smack.

“It’s not that, it’s just…I think I was naïve about Mrs Lyons and her relationship with Nathan. It just seemed so… perfect. Nathan seemed to really be happy there.”

Kay made his way into your bedroom/study, the glow off certain parts of his uniform made him appear like a phantom in the darkened room.

“He did seem content, as did his mother.”

You waggled your pen at him;

“Ah, but how much of that ‘happiness’ was down to his programming?”

You waggled it a bit too much it seemed, and the pen pinged out of your hand. You both watched as it bounced across the floor and into a dark corner. You turned slowly to stare at Kay, who was now looking at you confused.

“It’s a sign, Kay. A sign.”

He sighed exasperatedly.

“Do you believe that Nathan was deviant?”

You sighed, throwing your hands up in defeat, and letting them drop down the sides of your chair.

“I dunno. I thought I would if I met another one I would know straight away, but now…”

“Now?”

You gave him a tired smile, picking up and waving your notebook in front of his quizzical face.

“I guess I’ll need to do more research.”

With a flick of your wrist, the notepad was smacked back on the desk. You were _really_ abusing it today.

Kay watched you try and work out your notes and thoughts into a cohesive narrative, adding his own opinion every now and then. He started pacing behind you, hands folded behind his back. It was better than him standing right behind you the entire time. Despite his help, you felt like you were getting no-where with this, like a literal wall was blocking you from forming anything of value. Every sentence felt wrong or made no sense. Even Kay, who _was_ a deviant, had trouble describing what exactly it was.

Perhaps it was something already within them, like an Easter-egg in a game. It’s already coded, you just needed to meet the right criteria for it to appear. Or in their case, for them to evolve past their set programming.

Kay finally stopped his pacing, realising that no matter what he put forward, it wasn’t working out when you wrote it down. So he tried a different tactic.

“Why don’t you post some of your artwork to the blog? I read that art can inspire people to think or do various things.”

Kay was hovering over your shoulder now, peering at the less than helpful comments. You raised an eyebrow.

“You suggesting I make propaganda?”

“No. Rather, create artwork that has been inspired by people like me.”

You turned to look at him. He had turned his attention to some of the pieces of artwork that littered your mess of a room. Pieces that were personal, some that were supposed to be sold but didn’t. you were too sentimental with your artwork, so nothing was given away or thrown out. You had already experimented with work that was influenced by androids, but it never seemed to click.

You chewed your lip;

“I guess?”

Kay lifted your notebook and flipped through its pages.

“You’ve met many people and androids that have stories, and I would say they could make for interesting art pieces.”

Kay set down your notepad down and made to leave. He turned back to you, giving you a toothy smile.

“I think you could really help change the way people think about people like me. If you’re really good, it could create a movement.”

You wanted to, but the idea of gathering some sort of activist following scared you. Give you a speech to perform in front of a crowd, you could deal with that. Leading an activist group, that was a different story.

You laughed awkwardly.

“Wow, Kay, a movement? I could hardly keep a club running let alone a damn social movement…”

Kay shrugged, his ghostly figure moving through the illuminated darkness to the door.

“Just a thought…”

Perhaps you just got so used to people being angry at your ideas, not supporting them. You didn’t feel like you could start a movement, but you were willing to display your views in a new medium.

The pen twirled between your fingers as you debated whether or not to try it. Finally, you reached over to your headset and secured it snugly on your face.

“Ahh, Screw it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit later than I wanted, but here it is.
> 
> Sorry its a bitty short, i'm aiming to write longer chapters, so I've been rewriting parts and such for future chapters.
> 
> Might be a day or two wait for the next one, as I try to catch up with my writing.
> 
> As always, many thanks to everyone who took the time to read my story :)


	9. More Human than Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'The only real prison is fear, and the only real freedom is freedom from fear'
> 
> — Aung San Suu Kyi

You spent the majority of the next day sketching out ideas, reading notes and asking Kay for his opinion. For the first time in a while, you felt like you had a purpose, a goal.

It wasn’t until you read one of your articles again from a few years ago that you had a good idea of what you wanted to actually paint. In fact, it was one sentence that got you thinking;

 

‘DNA is our coding, blood is our thirium.’

 

Humans and androids had much more in common than most people wanted to admit. You needed to show this connection in a piece of art, and you finally had an idea of what to do.

So, you booted up your Artscape and got to work.

In your virtual world, you didn’t notice that the light through your window began to dim, and you were now sitting in the red glow of evening. Time tended to fly-by when you were in painting, virtually or otherwise.

“You’ve been in here for a while, Alex. Take a break.”

Kay, thanks to being able to connect with various digital equipment, was able to enter the Artscape without a headset. It was useful for when you needed a second opinion or to show off a finished piece to Kay. He always seemed to enjoy being part of the process.

Your pen traced round the shape of a face, trying to replicate Kays features. You hated stopping something you were really getting into, and so you kept going.

A noise of acknowledgement rumbled at the back of your throat in response to Kays suggestion.

“Staying on here for too long can make you ill. It’ll still be here later, it’s not going anywhere. You need a break.”

“But something might come up later, just this last bit and I’m done for now.” You groaned.

You didn’t hear him leave, but the silence that followed gave you the impression that he had gone. You knew he did it out of concern for you, and so you finished up what you were doing and left.

Sure enough, a bout of dizziness came over you as you tried to walk, and your eyes zig-zagged of their own accord when you tried to focus. You hated it when he was right about things like this.

You spied a glass of water on your bedside table out the corner of your eye. Kay must have left it there.

He was a saint that android.

Once the dizziness had passed you headed to the bathroom and splashed some cold water on your face. Although you still felt a little bit woozy, you headed to the living room, where Kay gave you a ‘I told you so’ look. You gave him a playful glare.

“Don’t you dare say it.”

Walking past him into the kitchen, you fished around your rather bare fridge for something to possibly cook for dinner. Before Kay, you lived off beans and toast. He had showed you simple recipes that took no time at all with barely any ingredients.

The creak of a cupboard door told you that Kay had joined in, and a clunk of a tin or two indicated that he was having far better success than you.

You inspected your meagre finding; some eggs and a slightly squishy red pepper. Not an impressive display.

” Omlette with peppers aanndd –“ You peered at Kay’s tin; “beans?”

He nodded;

“Beans.”

Beans it was then.

Despite you not wanting him to do things because he felt obliged, he asserted that he wanted to help. Well, if he insists.

You laughed at Kay’s horrified look as he watched you cook, the omelette coming out less than perfect. Kay looked genuinely concerned, as if you’d pick up food poisoning from it. He vowed to teach you how to make an actual good one, and you pretended to look offended.

You had just plopped the tin contents in a bowl when a loud, heavy knock from the door made you jump.

The two of you looked at one another. You waved off Kay who was advancing on the door, calling over your shoulder;

“I’ll get it, could you pop the beans in for me?”

His LED flashed red.

“Alex- “

Before Kay could protest further, you had unlocked the door and opened it, only to be met with the one person you didn’t want to see again. Liam still had that intense, frightening stare that made your skin cold. Your breath caught in your throat, no words left your lips. He smirked down at you;

“Heey.”

Liam barged his way past you, getting fully into your personal space as he did. On instinct, you shrunk back out of his way. Your voice came out as a whisper;

“Liam, please just go.”

“Nice to see you too. Having fun ignoring all my messages?”

_‘fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…’_

He wandered about the kitchen as if you had gladly invited him over. Liam noticed Kay by the counter and scoffed, jerking his thumb over his shoulder at him.

“Where the hell did’ya get the money for him? Not off your mediocre paintings that’s for fucking sure.”

You felt yourself stiffen, as if ropes were bound tightly around yourself. You wanted to get angry, make him leave, but your body wouldn’t let you. You felt defenceless, pathetic.

“Doing not bad for yourself, considering.”

“Liam, we can talk later, just- “

He snapped his head round at you, the look in his eyes made your words die in your throat. He always did it when you talked back to him, daring you to do it try. He knew it worked on you, even after these few years of being apart.

Liam snarled, his voice low and dangerous.

“No. We’re doing this now.”

He rounded the coffee table, peering down at some of your notes that were strewn across it. His face twisted in disgust.

You walked over to him, trying your best to calm your breathing. You needed to be strong, to let him know he was not welcome. Lifting your chin, you looked him straight in the eye, hoping that your voice wouldn’t fail you;

“I want you to leave.”

The conviction you wanted in your tone was replaced with something that sounded like a weak plea. Liam sneered.

“I think I’ll stay a while, actually.”

You clenched your shaking fists, taking a step towards him.

“I- “

**_THWACK_ **

You flinched as his foot collided hard with the table leg, the pot sculpture on top wobbled and fell. What scared you the most, was the fact his eyes never left yours whilst he did it. You immediately knelt to pick up the broken pieces, mirroring a time when he had done this before. History repeats itself it seemed.

He snickered, leering at your cowering form like a wolf over a lamb;

“Still so _fuckin’_ pathetic.”

It was as if nothing had changed.

Except this time, Kay was here with you.

You saw him stride forward from the kitchen, his LED now a steady, furious red.

“Alex told you to leave, Mr Taylor.”

His voice was steady, but his posture told you that he was having a hard time holding back his anger. He was a coiled spring, and you didn’t know when he would unfurl.

Liam ignored him and continued to watch you frantically picking up the pieces that lay scattered across the table and floor. You were too scared to look up at either of them.

He seemed to get bored of this, and snapped up your wrist in a gloved hand, pulling you towards him. You hissed in pain as he yanked you closer to his face by the wrist;

“Can’t you fuckin look at me anymore?”

You felt his fingers constrict tighter around your wrist, digging into your skin.

“Please-“

“No. You’re going to fucking listen to me this time you lit-“

Kay’s hand came into view, grabbing Liam by the upper arm.

“I would strongly advise you to let go, otherwise I’ll-“

The pressure in your wrist subsided, your hand growing hot as blood rushed back into it. Liam had turned his attention to Kay instead.

He pushed himself right into Kays space, standing almost eye to eye with him. His arms outstretched, challenging him to make a move.

“You’ll what? Hurt me? You can’t hurt me you fuckin’ piece of plastic.”

Liam threw a punch at Kay; and another, and another. Kay just stood there and took it, his fists still plastered to his sides. You staggered onto your feet, holding your injured wrist. You couldn’t let Kay be beaten because of you.

“Stop, please! I’ll talk, whatever, just leave him! He has nothing to do with this!”

Finally, he stopped the assault, and made his way back over to you. Kays seemed uninjured, thankfully. That was all you wanted.

You stumbled back as Liam advanced on you.

“You’re right.”

He sneered, cracking his fist;

“This is _all_ on you.”

His fist came towards you, but the punch never landed. Kay had grabbed him, pulling him back from you. His fist collided hard with Liam’s face, you heard a sickening _crack_ as it made contact. Liam landed hard on the floor, his head bouncing off it with a _whack_.

You just stared; at Kay, at Liam, at his bloody fist.

Kays eyes finally met yours and for the first time, you saw true fear on his face.

_‘What has he done?’_

A groaning from the floor made you both snap back to Liam, who was regaining consciousness. He touched his now squint nose, squinting at the blood that dripped off his hand.

Neither of you made a move as Liam got up clumsily, gripping the nearest object for support.

He glared at both of you, then made a b-line for the exit, almost tripping over a chair. Neither of you stopped him as he reached the front door.

Before he left he turned back, his hand clawed around the doorframe, leaving a bloody mark.

He glared straight at a now terrified Kay, his lip curled;

“Your fucked.”

**_SLAM_ **

_Shit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting better at writing longer chapters, but it might mean a bit of a wait for future ones.
> 
> The next one should be out either tomorrow or Thursday hopefully. 
> 
> Many thanks for reading :)


	10. Farewells and Hellos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting.'
> 
> — J.M. Barrie (Peter Pan)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes Connor! And there goes Kay...
> 
> I'll be having a weekend break from the story, just to catch up with chapters and whatnot. I don;t want to rush things, so just bear-with me :)

You knew that he didn’t have much time.

The happy world that you two made was shattered in the space of half an hour.

You grappled and pulled at the clothes in your wardrobe, Kay standing behind you seemingly in a state of shock. Your injured hand stayed close to your chest as you battled with the hangers to the back of your wardrobe. You wanted to say something to him, tell him that it wasn’t his fault, but you feared that you would break down.

Finally, you pulled out an old hoodie you bought ages ago online; the size was three sizes too big and it was too scratchy to wear for anything else.

You held it up in front of Kay to see if it would fit, and then thrust it into his chest.

“Wear this, I-I don’t have anything else that’ll fit you.”

Kay hesitantly put it on, his eyes glued to the floor. You checked him over, adjusting it until it looked suitable. In that moment, it felt like you switched roles since he was usually the one who fussed over you.

You stood back, giving him a once-over.

“Right. You have to get away from here, somewhere…anywhere.”

“Where?” Kay asked, trying to keep up with your long strides back into the main room.

Your eyes fell on the patches of blood on the laminate floor where Kay punched Liam. A shaky sigh left your lips;

“I…don’t know.”

You wished you had an answer, you really did. Where did all these missing androids go? There must be somewhere they’re hiding. Somewhere safe.

“You just need to get as far away from here as you can, disappear into the crowds. Find some other androids that have deviated.”

Kay shifted uncomfortably, watching you pace across the floor; your eyes darting between him, the blood and the main door.

“I didn’t mean for this to happen. I didn’t want to punch him, but I just felt –“

He stared at his hands as they shook slightly.

“I couldn’t let him hurt you anymore.”

You stepped forward, pulling the hood over him until it fit snuggly round his head, hiding his red LED. His face showed so much fear, uncertainty.

“Thank you, Kay. For everything.”

Stepping back, you choked back tears. If you could, you would tell him so much more, tell him about how much he had helped you this last year. Let him know how much you cared about him. Unfortunately, time was not on your side. You glanced at the front door, unable to keep eye contact for fear tears would flow.

“But you have to go now, or they’ll destroy you.”

“I know.”

His arms surrounded you, and instinctually you returned the hug. He gripped onto you like a life-line. You wished this moment could last longer, but you forced yourself to pull away and lead him to the door.

With a final adjustment to his hood, Kay opened the door and took a step outside the apartment. Through bleary eyes, you saw him a sad smile cross his face;

“Thank you for seeing me for who I am. I’ll never forget what you did for me.”

And then he was gone, his figure becoming a blur as he disappeared down the flight of stairs. You just stood there in the doorway, eyes fixed on the staircase even after he had left. Deep down, you wanted him to run back up the stairs, maybe ask you to go on the run. Of course, this wasn’t going to happen.

A few minutes passed by, and you flinched as you heard the unmistakable sound of a siren outside your flat.

At least Kay had gotten away in time.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You ended up being taken into the station for questioning, whilst a group of officers stayed at your flat to examine evidence and what not. It felt odd knowing that there was a group of strangers rooting around your home.

The station felt metallic and cold, uninviting. It didn’t do anything to help the anxiety that was bubbling up in your chest. After a kind officer gave you a coffee, you were led into a separate room for questioning. It looked and felt just like ones you had seen in films; with its bare grey walls and lonely table right in middle the room. You just hoped that whoever interviewed you wasn’t as terrifying as some of those film cops.

A scruffy looking older man came in a few minutes after you did; a folder held tight under his arm. A few awkward seconds of him getting settled made you shift in our seat, glancing over at the camera that was watching your every move. It was unsettling to know that others were watching you like a hawk.

The man cleared his throat, bringing your eyes back to the front. He began rolling off official jargon.

“I have to let you know that this interview is being audibly recorded. My name is Lieutenant Hank Anderson of the Detroit City Police Department. Can you, uh, state your name for the record?”

You cleared your throat.

“Alexandria Vale.”

He nodded, taking a glance at his watch. He took account of the date, time and place, before he began to settle into the actual interview.

“So…” He began, as if you were old friends out for a coffee; “…we were contacted earlier today by a Mr Liam Taylor about a suspected deviant at your home, who had assaulted him.”

Hank leaned forward, his eyes finding yours.

“Want to give me your version of events?”

There was no point in lying about that. Liam was entirely responsible for what happened, but you knew the law would not look kindly on Kay.

Between sips of your coffee, you told him what happened; about your ex appearing uninvited, his aggressive treatment of both you and Kay, and the punch. The lieutenant sat and listened, making no move to contradict you.

“So, would you say that your android was acting in self-defence?”

“No. Liam began hitting him first before me and Kay made no move to stop him. He punched him after _my_ life was threatened.”

Anderson sat back, his eyebrow raised.

“Your referring to the android as if it were a person. Any reason?”

You bristled, your hand tightening around the take-out coffee cup.

“I don’t refer to androids as ‘it’, Lieutenant.”

“Why’s that? Did you have some sort of…- “He gesticulated his hands as he tried to articulate the word. “relationship?”

He scoffed as if it were the most ridiculous idea.

“No. He was a friend. We were close, but it wasn’t like that.”

You gave him a baffled look, crossing your arms over your chest as you sat back.

“What exactly does this have to do with Kay punching Liam?”

“I’m just trying to get a better understanding of why the android hit the guy. I’m ain’t here to judge you.”

You said nothing, and instead chose to stare at the corner of the room. It was childish, you knew, but at that moment you couldn’t think of a better way to show you’re dislike of the situation. The lieutenant let out an exasperated sigh;

“Look, I’m not the enemy here. I’m not asking questions purely to piss you off.”

“I know. I just – “

You tensed your jaw, trying to stop it from quivering. You felt so uneasy sitting there, as if a thousand eyes were watching you. Judging you. You knew Hank meant well, but the whole situation was rubbing you the wrong way. You returned to glare at the corner, sinking into the chair in the off chance it would swallow you up. Anderson seemed to get the picture that you didn’t want to say any more to him, and he let out a groan of frustration.

“Right. We’ll hold this for now. Just… stay there.”

Not that you _could_ go anywhere.

He got up, passing the officer at the door with a nod. You expected to be escorted out or told to wait until the interview continued. Instead, an android entered the room. You had never seen his model before, so he was obviously not a standard police android. His outfit was very distinct as well; a formal suit and tie with semi-formal trousers.

He walked with absolute purpose towards the table, showing no real emotion on his features.

Sitting down in front of you, he adjusted his jacket.

“Miss Vale, my name is Connor. I would like to ask you a few questions.”

You nodded, rather curious about what a detective android would be like. He gave you a reassuring smile and wove his fingers together in front of him. His LED blinked yellow.

“Your android, Kay, how did you acquire him?”

His voice was comforting, and you felt yourself relax a bit more. It was strange. Perhaps he was created specifically for the purpose of interrogation. His tone held no anger or judgement; he simply asked the question.

He noticed your anxiousness, and gave you a reassuring smile;

“It’s alright, take your time. I understand that you went through a lot tonight.”

You swallowed, fixing your eyes on your clasped hands. You always felt a bit emotional when you thought about when you first met Kay. It wasn’t exactly the happiest experience.

“I…found him, he was dumped in an alleyway to rot. I took him to a Cyberlife store to get fixed.”

Connors head tilted towards you, urging you on with an encouraging look.

“They said that he would be dismantled, so I paid for his repairs and took him home.”

“And so, you felt a sense of compassion towards Kay, you gained companionship through him.”

You took a sip of the coffee, scrunching your nose as the cool liquid slipped down your throat.

“I couldn’t just leave him in the alleyway or get torn apart because he wasn’t wanted anymore. It wouldn’t be right.” A ghost of a smile crossed your features. “He was a good friend to me when I had no one.”

Connor nodded, his LED spinning yellow.

“Had Kay ever shown aggression before tonight?”

Your frowned deeply, finding the idea absurd.

“No, no that wasn’t who he was. He never liked violence, even if it was on TV.”

“Yet he purposely attacked a human with the intent to cause harm.”

You tensed. He was really getting under your skin.

“Yes, but he did it to protect me. He could have attacked Liam when he was being beaten himself, but he stood there did nothing.”

leaning into the table, you looked directly into Connors dark eyes. He mirrored your movements. It felt as if you were going to tell him a terrible secret, the way the two of you hunched together over the table.

“It was a last resort. Kay didn’t want to hurt him, but it was the only way for Liam to stop.”

Connor nodded slowly, leaning back and out of your vicinity as he processed your answer. He glanced at your wrist.

 “Did you help him leave? Did he _make_ you help him?”

He probably scanned your wrist and saw that there were no handprints. Makes sense that he’d put two-and-two together and figure it was Kay.

“Kay never hurt me. Liam did this.”

“So, you helped the android willingly?”

_‘Fuck.’_

Connor was really playing you like a fiddle now. He knew when to push, and when to hold back and now he had you in a hypothetical corner. There was no point in lying.

Your shoulders sagged.

“Yes.”

“Where did he intend on going?”

Connor was trying to get you to reveal something but jokes on him (and the others) you had no idea about Kay’s whereabouts.

You shrugged. “I have no idea.”

He seemed to look right into you in that moment, his mind processing what you said. His LED blinked yellow.

“But you _are_ publicly pro-android rights?”

 Your voice caught in your throat. _Damn it._

“I- “

An invisible weight pulled you down into the chair. This probably won’t look good to the police. A woman, who just so happens to be very pro-android, willing let an android go rogue. You felt your heart battering against your ribcage.

“You also publish work concerning this topic.”

“Yeah, but I’ve been doing that for _years_ , long before deviant cases sprung up.”

“And you believe that this had no effect on the android you had living with you?”

You lashed out at Connors questioning, rising from your seat;

“I don’t know, okay?!” You felt your courage leave you, and you slumped back down into the seat. “I don’t know where he is… I can’t help you.”

Connor regarded you for a few seconds, and then gave you a pleasant but neutral smile.

“Thank you, Miss Vale, for your cooperation.”


	11. Freedom and Solitude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Do androids dream? Rick asked himself.'
> 
> \- Philip. K Dick (Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?)

 “Your house will be off-limits for a little while longer. We just need to give the scene another once-over.”

“How long will that take?”

“About… two hours?”

“Oh.”

The officer returned to the corner of the waiting room, hands crossed in front of him. He didn’t seem much for conversation.

This was going to be a long night.

You sat back in your seat, fiddling with your hands in your lap. You wondered about what you were going to do, since the police wouldn’t let you stay here for a long length of time. The _whoosh_ of the door you look up. Connor came to stand in front of you, looking strangely sorry for himself.

How peculiar.

“Miss Vale, I…have come to apologise. I realise that during my interview with you, I may have been a bit too aggressive with my questioning.”

“Oh.”

You hadn’t expected that.

“It’s- it’s fine, really. You were just doing your-what your programmed to do.” You replied flustered.

He straightened up, his hands folding behind his back, a small smile on his face. He seemed to be back in business mode. It made sense that he could switch up his ‘mood’ to suit the situation, it was an essential part of getting someone to trust you. Like, say, for an investigation.

No wonder he was brought onto a case like this with those skills.

“I’m glad I did not cause you undue stress. Thank you again for cooperating with the investigation.”

Before you could open your mouth to speak, he was gone; striding across the room and out the door. You watched him meet up with the grizzled detective who gave him a ‘ _are you done now?’_ look. Connor talked animatedly about something, the lieutenant looked fed up. Anderson turned and walked away as Connor continued to speak, the latter following close behind despite the former ignoring him.

If they were working together, they seemed like a rather strange team.

You realised that you hadn’t heard about Liam the entire time you spent at the station. Did he get questioned too? You could just imagine him sat in the interview room, playing the victim card just like he always did. He was good at that, good at manipulating those around him.

A few minutes later, another police officer strode in, motioning for the remaining officer to leave. He turned his attention to you, a half-smile pulled at his cheek.

“Okay Miss Vale, you’re free to go. We’ll call you when you can get back in your house.”

“What about Liam? What’s happening with him?”

The officer waved off your comment.

“Don’t worry sweetheart, we’ll deal with all this shit, it’s not your problem anymore.”

Ugh, that rubbed you all the wrong ways.

“I think it _is_ my problem, officer-?”

He looked offended.

“ _Detective_ Reed, actually. And no. It isn’t. Just let us professionals do our job. We’ll find that plastic ‘pal’ of yours and sort out your boyfriend, kay?”

He obviously liked the sound of his own voice, this Detective Reed. Considering his reaction, he also had issues with being called ‘only just’ an officer. As if it were a terrible insult. He was the definition of a hot-headed, tough-guy cop you’d seen in so many police movies.

You wanted to argue, but you were just too damn tried to lower yourself to his level. Besides, it wouldn’t be too good being stuck in a cell after punching a detective. That didn’t mean you _weren’t_ going to say anything.

“If it’s you that’s going after them, I have no faith in the justice system.”

You could almost feel the anger radiating off him as his face turned red. You gathered your things and got up and out of the room before he could retort.

Giving your details to the android at the front desk, you left the station.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Killing time was much harder when it was this late. Most shops were closed hours ago, and the only ones still lit up were bars and clubs. You weren’t in the mood for either. You decided to grab some fast food, before heading out for a stroll through the city. You needed time to think, to understand what had happened. Perhaps it was a good thing that you couldn’t go straight home, you’d probably end up bawling your eyes out. Taking time away from everything was the best thing you could do for now.

The pale glow off the buildings and street lights created an unnatural daylight through the maze of streets and roads. Various colours of neon lit up shop doorways and billboards, breaking up the monogamy of white light that dominated the skyline. It was pretty; in a futuristic, industrial kind of way.

You lifted your gaze to the sky’s in a vain attempt to see the stars that reminded you of home. The clear skies of the countryside were something you missed, but the lights of the city had made it impossible to see anything. It was a shame, really.

The streets were quite quiet since it was a week-day, the odd person tottering out of a bar or doing some late-night exercise. The only androids around were the odd cleaners picking up litter, and those in the parking area.

_‘Do androids dream of electric sheep?’_ You quoted, observing them standing there inactive.

It would be nice if they could dream.

A smothered buzzing from your phone dragged you back to reality. Forgetting your left hand was bruised, you hissed when you tried to reach for the device. It was an unfortunate reminded of what happened only a few hours ago.

It was only the police department letting you know that you could return home, and not a moment too soon.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You felt strange stepping back into your flat, like something was off. The image of police officers rooting around your things made you feel uncomfortable. That, and the fact Kay wasn’t here.

Kay.

You hoped that he had gotten away safely, but you had to come to terms with the possibility that he may not have. Although, the fact that the police hadn’t contacted you yet about his whereabouts was a very good thing.

Your flat was unscathed from the investigation, not that there was much to look at in the first place. The ornament that was broken in Liam’s anger had gone, but the blood was still there. Before you did anything else, you locked your door. Then you unlocked it and locked it again.

You were going back to old habits that you had lost since Kay was in your life. Without him here, the flat felt hollow. More vulnerable.

Taking some cleaning products out of the cupboard, you started to scrub furiously at the dry blood that stained the laminate. Gritting your teeth, you pushed harder into the floor with each motion. You were just so angry; angry at Liam for ruining your life again, angry at the police, and angry at yourself.

You felt so…pathetic.

Tears mixed into the foamy cleaning liquid, your shoulders shook as you just let the tears stream down your cheeks.

_‘Pathetic. Pathetic. Pathetic. Pathe- ‘_

Letting out a strangled cry, you hurled the cloth you were cleaning with at the wall. It landed with a wet ‘ _slap’_ , leaving a trail of soapy liquid in its wake.

Why didn’t you do something to stop Liam? If Kay hadn’t had to intervene he wouldn’t be on the run. He wouldn’t be in danger. He would be safe, here, with you.

Then again, he wouldn’t be free either.

Was it better to be free but unprotected, or safe but restricted?

Only Kay and other deviants that escaped had the answer to that. You hoped that someday you’d get to ask them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I said that the last chapter was going to be it, but I wanted to post one more up before the weekend.
> 
> So, weekend break and then i'll start posting up chapters again when I can.
> 
> Many thanks for reading :)


	12. Artists in Residence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Come back. Even as a shadow, even as a dream.'
> 
> ― Euripides

“You know I get worried Alexandria when I don’t hear from you in a while.”

“I know, I know. I wanted to call sooner, it’s just that-…. something came up.”

“Ah, I see. Not something good I suspect?”

There was a sombre sigh from the other end of the line.

“Well, why don’t we suffer in each other’s misery, eh? Come over for some tea, it’s been long overdue.”

“Carl, has something happened?”

Silence.

“I’ll be over soon.”

_Click_

He sounded much weaker than he did the last time you heard him speak. You felt bad for not getting in touch sooner, considering his condition. At least he had Markus with him, the two got on well and Carl really benefitted from it. Although it did take him some time to warm up to him, Carl eventually seemed to consider Markus as a family member.

You gathered up a few of your sketches, including some of the ones inspired by androids. The ones Kay had encouraged you to create. Carl always liked having a look at your progress, and playfully commenting on parts you could do better or techniques you could try. He was both a mentor and a friend, and someone you needed right now.

By the sounds of things, he might need you too.

His home always looked non-descript from outside. Expensive, but not extravagant. The inside was where he really showed off his artistic style, his flair for the flamboyant.

You knocked thrice on the glass door, peering inside in hopes of spotting Markus. He always seemed to perk up when he noticed it was you and Kay. Instead, another android walked up to the door and welcomed you. As far as you knew, Markus was the only android that lived here. You frowned.

_‘Where the hell is Markus?’_

“Good Morning. Are you Miss Vale?”

It felt awkward being addressed so formally in front of Carls house. You suddenly felt timid standing there in front of this new android.

“Yes, um…what happened to Markus?”

The android tilted his head, confusion written across his features.

“I’m sorry, but there is no-one living here by that name.” He stood aside, holding out his arm in a welcoming sweep, “Please, come in. Carl is anxious to see you.”

You let this new android lead you to the main room with the giant giraffe. Taking your coat, the android walked off into another room, leaving you alone with Carl. He sat in his armchair, looking wistfully out the window. It was not often that you’d see him looking so melancholy.

You had no doubt in your mind that whatever happened involved Markus, and that it wasn’t good.

You approached him, carrying your sketches under an arm. Carl smiled, but still had his eyes set on the garden outside. He looked very frail, small compared to the chair he sat in.

He finally looked away from the window and turned himself to face you as you got comfortable.

“Been a while, huh?”

“I’m Sorry, a lot happened in the last few days. I promise I won’t neglect our meet ups in future.”

He waved a finger at you, chuckling softly. His eyes, however, did not hold reflect the smile on his lips.

“I’ll hold you to that!”

You showed him a couple of the pieces you had taken with you; Carl giving comments and criticisms where needed. He was particularly interested in your more recent artworks, and took his time looking over them.

You hadn’t mentioned Markus, and he hadn’t mentioned Kay’s absence. Suddenly bringing up Markus didn’t feel right. You knew Carl was probably wondering about Kay, since he was always with you when you visited. It was probably best to wait and see where the conversation would go.

After some time talking about each other’s art progress, Carl off-handily mentioned that Markus had painted something fantastic. He caught himself, and suddenly went quiet, turning his gaze back to the garden.

You watched him wordlessly as you packed up your sketches.

“You know, I never really appreciated the garden when it was in full bloom.”

You joined him in studying the flowers, noticing that they were indeed wilting in the colder weather. Everything seemed that bit duller now that the temperature was dropping. He continued his musings;

“It’s like that saying isn’t it? ‘you don’t appreciate something until it’s gone’.”

You swallowed thickly, knowing that this was probably the best time to ask;

“Did something happen to Markus?”

Carl shifted in his seat, his eyes finally finding yours again.

“He…my son…. Markus pushed him, and he was injured. I thought the worst happened.”

Your eyes widened, your eyebrows deepening into a frown. There must have been a reason for him to lash out in such a way.

“Markus did that? Why?”

“Leo was going to take a painting to sell for money. We found him, and Markus tried to stop him. Leo wouldn’t listen…”

Carl’s voice wavered, his hands held tightly in his lap.

“He hit him too hard, and Leo was knocked to the ground. I yelled at Markus to leave but he….didn’t.”

His eyes trailed back to the window, you could tell that he was trying to fight back tears.

“He just stared at me. He was afraid. He _begged_. Then the police, they…”

He cut himself short, unable to say the word. He didn’t need to.

“I’m so sorry Carl…Is- is he?” You lamented.

You didn’t want to say the word. Carl shook his head, his voice barely audible.

“I don’t know.”

Markus was gone? Just like that?

You sat back, the weight of the news heavy on your mind. You had spent enough time with Markus to not imagine him doing anything like that. When you came over, you would enjoy talking with him; discussing poetry, art, whatever came to mind.

Wetting your lips, you sighed. Might as well get things out in the open.

“Kay punched my ex, and he phoned the police. Kay defended me from him when I was unable to. I have no idea where he is now, or if he’s…okay.”

The two of you sat in silence, only the distant tinkering of his android echoed from the other room. The quiet had a comforting feel about it. You both grieved for your lost friends, supported in each other’s company. It was good to finally be able to tell someone about what happened, without them judging you.

Carl broke the stillness with half-hearted grin;

“Told you we’d suffer in each other’s misery, eh?”

“There’s nobody else I’d rather do it with.”

You gave him a small smile, trying your best to lift the dampened atmosphere somewhat.

“Now – “Carl readjust himself, clearing his throat in an attempt to clear the dour mood; “Would you like some of that tea I promised you?”

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

After you finished your tea, Carl wanted to show you the painting he mentioned Markus doing. You wheeled him through to his studio, marvelling at the newest painting that stood almost from floor to ceiling. This place always took your breath away; its sheer size and beautiful design always made you stop and admire your surroundings. Carl motioned you round to the side, where a painting sat on an easel.

“There you have it. Isn’t it amazing? I just asked him to paint what he felt, and he produced this.”

You stood, eyes fixed and unblinking.

“It’s…”

_‘beautiful.’_

There was such emotion displayed on the canvas, such a rawness to it that even some of the worlds most talented artists couldn’t replicate. You made your way around Carl to stand before it, taking it in. Markus did this. An android did this.

“And they say androids can’t feel. This –“ You indicated to Markus’ art, “This tells a completely different story.”

Carl made an affirming noise in the back of his throat.

 “I saw something so human in Markus. He was different. I think that’s why he did what he did, and why Kay hit that horrible ex-boyfriend of yours. They were similar in some ways.”

“They were…are unique. I wonder how many more are like them.”

Carl chuckled.

“If they’re anything like Markus and Kay, I hope there are many, many more.”

“So do I.”

Carl smiled as you looked back at him. Suddenly his face twisted in pain, and he leaned forward holding his chest. You immediately went to kneel in front of him.

“Carl?”

He waved his hand as if to knock away your concern.

“It’s nothing, I’m just a bit…sore is all.”

“You need some rest. I’ll get out of your hair and let you sleep.”.

The noise must have alerted the new android, who strode into the room. He reached the two of you, making sure Carl was secure in the chair;

“Thank you, Miss Vale, I’ll let him get some rest.”

“Just call me Alex, please. Miss Vale’s too formal.”

The android nodded and began to wheel Carl out into the wide foyer, with you walking at his side.

“If you need anything Carl, just phone me okay? I’m usually in.”

He patted your hand, giving it a squeeze.

“I will. The same goes for you. Just don’t leave it so long to chat next time, alright?”

You thanked him and his android, who acknowledged you politely. It was still strange to not have Markus in the house, to not see him smile. Carl was in mourning. To him, Markus was as much a son as Leo was. Perhaps even more so, considering it was _Leo_.

At least Carl was alright, that was something.

You left his house and headed home with conflicted feelings. The one place you thought would be stable had also broken. Carl was trying to hold what was left together, whilst you were still trying to pick up the pieces. Markus, Kay; they didn’t deserve this hatred, and it sounded like Markus paid the ultimate price for standing up for himself. It just wasn’t fair.

You felt so emotionally drained from these last few days…

Your eyes began to droop as you watched the numbers tick slowly up to your floor, images of falling into your bed and curling up flittered around your mind.

When you stepped out onto the landing, you were too busy fiddling in your bag to notice the silent figure standing by your door. By the time you looked up, you almost had a heart attack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back into the story after the weekend, and i've managed to catch up (a bit) with my chapters.
> 
> As always, many thanks for reading, and for the kudos! :)


	13. Interesting Company

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Oh no, a human feeling awkward. How terrible.'
> 
> ― T. Kingfisher, The Raven and the Reindeer

 

You yelped, flinging your bag in the figures general direction. You realised after it left your hand that it was the detective android who interviewed you yesterday.

The bag smacked against his chest with a soft ‘thump’. He didn’t even flinch, he just watched it land smack on the floor in front of him.

_‘Well…that was embarrassing…’_

“Hooly _fuck_. _Why_ are you here?” You pressed a hand against your chest to still your heart, leaning your hip against the wall. He opened his mouth to speak.

You didn’t let him respond;

“Wait, hang-on. How did you get _in_ here? You need a pass to get into the building.”

“I am able to access anywhere deemed necessary to the investigation. I apologise for scaring you. I have just been waiting until you returned.”

“How long’s that been?”

He tilted his head in thought.

“22 minutes, 43 seconds. Lieutenant Anderson dropped me off here and will return in approximately 37 minutes.”

You shook our head in disbelief, Sliding your cardkey through the reader. Walking inside, you waited until Connor entered and then closed it behind you with a kick. He watched as you battled with your scarf, hanging the offending piece of apparel up with your coat.

“You could have just asked, you know…” You mumbled. He stood there. You stood there, shifting your eyes around awkwardly.

Making popping noise with your mouth, you tried to fill the slightly awkward silence that fell between you both. You rocked back and forth on your heels;

“Sooo…what else do you need to know?”

He had an answer ready as quick as lightening;

“I have already surveyed the crime scene, but I was unable to search more thoroughly. If you would allow me to, I’d like to look around.”

“And if I said no? _Hypothetically_ speaking, of course.”

“You would be disrupting the investigation. Perhaps you would be arrested for obscuring the law.”

You swear you saw the side of his mouth twitch.

“ _Hypothetically_ speaking, of course.”

“Ah. Go right ahead then.”

There was really nothing much for him to see, if he were looking for possible reasons for Kay deviating that is. He wandered through the living space and down the hallway. You noticed that he took in everything and anything he passed, probably processing them in seconds. There was a curiosity in his expression that you’d not seen in many androids. It was probably part of his programming, since he dealt with investigations.

Despite being in this strange scenario, you tried to distract yourself from Connor by making a sandwich. You couldn’t help but wonder what he thought of your flat, and you groaned when you realised you’d left clothes and other stuff lying around. He was going to think you’re a slob.

_‘Way to break artist stereotypes, Alex.’_

He hadn’t made so much as a murmur, even after you sat down with your meal. You leaned round to look down the hall where he’d disappeared. Not a peep.

You had only taken one bite when his head popped round the doorway of Kays room.

“Miss Vale, who’s room is this? You don’t appear to live with anyone else. “

“It was Kays room, when he was still here.”

Taking your sandwich with you (because he was _not_ going to interrupt your lunch), you joined him in Kays room.

“And just call me Alex or Alexandria or something.”

Standing in the centre of the room, he spun to face you with a quizzical look;

“Androids do not need bedrooms. Why did you give him one?”

You glanced around the room, making a note to water Kays plants that he put so much time into. He really made the place his own. It felt wrong that no-one stayed here anymore.

“I wanted to give him his own space. Somewhere he could go that was especially his.”

Connor didn’t say anything, moving off away from you to investigate further. You took the opportunity to eat a piece of your lunch while he was distracted with…whatever. No doubt he had other questions in that head of his.

He looked at everything like it was a new; eyes wide, mouth forming words but never saying anything out loud. Like a child in an aquarium for the first time. It was quite endearing really.

“Miss Vale- “

“Alex.” You mumbled through a mouth of bread.

“Sorry, Alex. Did it collect these?”

He motioned to the stacks of variously coloured bottlecaps that were stacked on the dresser. You shrugged nonchalantly;

“Yeah. He just…started one day. It’s a pretty normal hobby.”

“Not for an android. Androids don’t have hobbies.”

“Well, I didn’t stack them there, I can tell you that.”

Connor examined them closely for a few seconds, and then without warning straightened up and walked out the room. He just didn’t seem to stop moving. If he weren’t an android, you’d guess he was hyperactive.

You were about to head back to the living room, when you suddenly had a thought.

“Heey, Connor?”

You stuffed the rest of our sandwich in your mouth and made your way to your room. Connor was knelt, examining one of your paintings on the floor. This particular one was of a hummingbird in flight. Birds were always one of your favourite subjects to paint. He looked up at you expectantly as you entered the room.

“Is there something you wanted to ask?”

His voice, though rather melodic, was still very stiff. You wondered if he had a ‘casual conversation’ mode in his programming. Time to test that.

“Do you _really_ not have any hobbies? Any interests?”

He looked down at the ground, his LED spinning yellow.

“I don’t believe so, no.”

“Nothing at all?”

After a pause, Connor turned back to you, seemingly confident with what response he had.

“I like completing my missions, making sure deviants are found and taken in. It’s what I was made for after all.”

You groaned, cupping your face in your hands as you looked down at Connor through tired eyes.

“Connor, seriously, you need to get out more.”

You realised that he literally couldn’t, but it just made you so sad that he had nothing to do outside of his work. What was worse, was that he wasn’t allowed to. You had to keep reminding yourself that not all androids had the freedom Kay had.

“I go out very often, actually. Otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to come here.”

“It’s a saying Connor, it means that you should try out new things, that’s all.”

“I…see.”

He seemed to be processing what you said, and then he got back to raiding your room. Your eyes flickered to your bed, where a pile of clothes was strewn across the duvet. This included some rather…private items of clothing. Your face turned red. As casually as you could muster, you made your way over to the bed and slipped the offending articles under the cover. He probably didn’t care, but you certainly did.

After patting down the duvet, you parked yourself on top and watched Connor scan over your desk. He was currently looking through some of your notes. A part of you wanted to stop him, but another part of you wanted him to read them. Perhaps he’d see another side to the whole deviant business. Maybe you could get in on the action, so to speak.

“If you’d like, you could look up some of my articles online. It might be useful for your investigation. I mean, some of the stuff in them isn’t probably useful to you, but it might be interesting to read all the same.”

This got his attention, and his dark eyes met yours.

“That would be…interesting. I’ll be sure to.” He smiled, placing your notes back on the desk.

The idea that Connor might read and subsequently analyse your work made you feel suddenly very self-conscious. You turned away from his gaze, scratching your cheek.

“I mean, they’re not amazing or anything, and they’re kinda biased so don’t be surprised if…you know…- “

You were rambling, and he looked amused at your attempt to form a cohesive sentence.

 You huffed.

“Look, what I want to say is maybe we could… work together in some way.”

Connor didn’t look so sure, his brow furrowed;

“But you have a rather positive stance regarding deviants, from what information I’ve gathered. And my job is to take down deviants. The two do not correlate.”

Rising from the bed, you walked over to him. You stood close enough to show that you were serious about the idea, but not too close to be intimidating. Not that it really worked. It’s hard to look serious when you look half asleep and wearing the remains of your last meal.

Never the less, you tried.

“We might have different reasons for doing it, but some of our goals are the same; to find out why deviation is happening. That’s something I’ve been trying to understand since the first case arose. Just…have a think about it.”

Connors LED flickered between yellow and blue. He tilted his head towards you in acknowledgement.

“I will certainly consider what you said, thank you.”

You beamed up at him. If you were involved with the case (more specifically with Connor) you could learn much more than you ever could just researching online. Who knows? It might lead to something good. Or it’ll end in disaster. Either way.

Connors eyes roamed over your face, as if he were taking the image of you in, cataloguing the details, the lines, marks. He made no facial expressions; none of confusion or disgust (thankfully). He just, studied you. Him staring at you made you feel like a bug under a microscope. From this close, you noticed the tiny details of his skin, like the group of moles he had, or the fact that he-

Okay, you were starting to feel that little bit self-conscience about this whole staring-thing;

 “Err, Connor?”

His eyes refocused on your own. You scratched your neck, looking away.

“Is there – “ _Cough_ “- is there anything else you’d like to know?”

“Did Kay leave because he wanted to, or because he was afraid to stay?”

You thanked your lucky stars he didn’t ask something awkward or personal. It _really_ felt like it was going in that direction.

“We were close. He told me before all the shit happened that he liked living here. I never got the impression that he disliked me.”

Connor seemed to urge you on purely by gazing down at you with his doe eyes. No wonder he was an advanced detective android, he could get blood from a stone if he tried hard enough.

“He wanted- “

**_BANG, BANG-BANG!_ **

The hard knocking made you jump, and instinctually you looked to Connor for some level of support. He seemed to sense your uneasiness, and so he made his way to the front door instead. You followed him at a safe distance, grabbing your bag on the way.

It was probably silly to feel like this, but it just reminded you of the other day so much. This time however, you had a police android which calmed your nerves somewhat.

The door was banged again. Connor responded by pulling the door hard, his stance ready for a confrontation. You hung back anxiously, ready to throw your bag again if necessary.  Instead, you saw Hank looking at both of you as if you’d both grown several more heads.

“The _he_ \- who were you expecting, the goddamn IRS? Fucksake…”

He sounded exasperated, shaking his head at Connor in particular. Connor relaxed (or whatever the android version of that was) and turned to you.

“Your heartrate spiked a few seconds ago, are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just wish _someone_ would knock like a _normal_ person and not like they’re the _IRS_ or something.”

Your voice practically dripped with sarcasm. Hank rolled his eyes. Connor just looked between the two of you in confusion.

Hank nodded over at Connor;

“So, has it been bothering you?”

“No. Well, he did scare the shit out of me by standing outside my door when I wasn’t there- “

Hank frowned at Connor.

“The _fuc_ \- “

“I needed to make sure- “

“What the _fu_ \- “           

“She was alright, I didn’t mean to… - “

“I dropped you off outside cos you said she was home!”

Trying to defuse the situation, throwing your hands up in exasperation.

“It’s fine. Really. I threw a bag at him.”

Hank looked bewildered;

“You threw a ba-? Urg, you two are giving me a fucking migraine.”

Hank sounded like a father who had had it ‘up to here!’ with his kids. He raked a hand through his hair, swearing under his breath.

“Whatever. I’ve been told to play taxi and take you back to the station. And you –“

He pointed a finger at you;

“You stay safe, okay? Didn’t get the chance to talk to you after the interview.”

So, he was a tough cop with a heart of gold? Aw.

“And, err, sorry about it freaking you out. If I’d known…”

Connor looked almost bashful, looking away from both of you.

You shrugged.

“Seriously, it’s fine. I’d rather Connor here than...you know…”

Hank shuffled on the spot, hands deep in his jacket pockets. He gave you a half-smile.

“Yeah, I get’cha. Come on then.”

He motioned for Connor to follow with a tilt of his head, giving you a final nod before he turned and walked away. Connor didn’t follow immediately, and instead shifted to face you.

“Thank you again for letting me look around. I have a lot I need to consider after what you said today.”

“Don’t sweat it.”

He frowned.

“But, I am unable to – “

“It’s a _saying_ , Connor.”

Hank was thankfully waiting at the end of the corridor, looking anywhere but the two of you. You twirled the ends of your jumper in your hands, feeling suddenly very coy.

_‘Where did that come from?’_

“I hope we’ll be able to talk again, I find conversations with you to be…pleasant.” Connor said.

Not the word you’d have used, but the thought was there.

“Same. Look, if you need to ask or talk or anything, just knock.”

You smiled as Connor gave you a nod in response.

“See you later.”

At the sound of Connors shoes padding towards him, Hank straightened up and pressed the elevator switch. You watched them go, leaning against the doorframe.

Connor gave you a stiff wave, before the doors slid together and the two disappeared.


	14. Sleepless Blues and Fearful Strangers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'The night is the hardest time to be alive and 4am knows all my secrets.'
> 
> ― Poppy Z. Brite

It was an _interesting_ meeting you two had last night. Connor had not been what you expected, he was much more…normal, if that made sense. Admittedly, he _was_ a ruthless interviewer, but outside of that he was wide-eyed and curious. Hopefully he would think about your proposal, although even if he agreed it didn’t mean that you’d be allowed to help. One could hope, however.

That night, you couldn’t sleep. You groaned, turning over to stare at the window, the light from the streets illuminating the room in a faint blue. It was still dark, too early for a normal person to get up. Despite the utter mess that the last two days were, you still had a debate to prep for tomorrow. You’d forgotten about it, and only remembered when you checked your mail again. Thankfully, university had prepared you for cramming.

You sat in the middle of your bedroom floor; notes and essays scattered in a semi-circle around your hunched form. You scanned through each of them, taking and combining notes to suit the topic.

Letting out a long yawn, you twirled your pen around your fingers in thought.

The silence seemed to engulf you, rapping around you like a blanket. Stifling you. You’d never have thought that you’d miss Kay wandering about, yet here you were. Thankfully, you didn’t have to sit in the stillness.

“Radio; on.”

Kays radio filtered from his room into yours, playing some sort of relaxing blues. For a few moments, you sat there and took in the music. He would often put this radio station on while he pottered around, or when he settled down to read. In a way, it was like he was still here. Your mind seemed to reboot itself, and you found that the words your mind couldn’t process seemed to flow. Maybe it was the nostalgia that helped you write, or perhaps it was just that the music. Either way, you got to work…

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

 

You had time to kill before you had to head to the University, so you decided to take a walk to clear your head. Cooping yourself up in your flat wasn’t going to help you think straight.

There was a tension in the streets that you had never felt before. Humans seemed to take more care in avoiding androids, watching them warily as they moved passed. Protestors flocked together like angry birds, and more of the people listened to what they were saying. Ignorance led to fear, which led to hatred and resentment. It was clear from the numbers that stood around to listen, that the people were fearful.

This walk was giving you a headache, the exact opposite of what you needed.

And then it started to rain. Perfect.

Guess the walk was going to be cut short.

Pulling up your hood, your face angled down, you headed back in the direction of your flat. This morning wasn’t starting out too great for you. Seeing as you were hunched over trying to shield yourself from the rain, you didn’t notice the fast-moving figure that was striding in your direction.

The strangers shoulder contacted your own with a hard thump. You stumbled, thankful that it wasn’t your injured arm;

“Arg, hey – “

It was an android, a female one. The impact must have displaced her hair, uncovering her yellow LED. Despite her lack of response, her wide eyes said it all. Judging by her clothes, she was a street cleaning android. Or, she was. She backed up a few steps, before spinning back around to the same direction she was going in to begin with.

The android obsessively pulled at her hair next to the LED, twitching this way and that as she advanced. She was obviously nervous, which was something that didn’t happen to ‘functioning’ androids. Not saying you were an expert in this sort of thing, but she seemed to fit the bill of a runaway deviant.

A part of your brain urged you to follow, to see what she would do. Your curiosity got the better of your rationality.

As soon as there was enough distance between you both, you followed her as casually and nondescript as you could. She turned a corner, and another, then walked down a small alleyway. Her footsteps seemed to quicken, but you didn’t want to alert her by speeding up. By the time you had left the alleyway into another bustling street, she had seemingly vanished. The android must have gotten spooked, though that wasn’t surprising. You weren’t exactly spy material.

You tried to peer through the crowds of humans, umbrellas and androids in a vain attempt to see her, but she was long gone. Your tongue clicked in displeasure.

_‘Damn it.’_

Then again, what would you have done anyway? Run after her and stop her? Try to talk to her?

You berated yourself for watching too many police chases on TV.

Retracing your steps, you headed back into the alleyway you’d followed her into. Your eyes were immediately drawn to something white on the ground. Considering that nothing else in the alleyway was in anyway light in colour, it really stuck out.

You knelt, brushing aside the mud on its surface with your thumb. It was a picture, either drawn by a steady hand or a ruler. The shape was, for all intense and purposes, an ordinary square. However, the corners weren’t normal, looking somewhat like arrows pointing inward. You racked your brain about what it may be or where it could have come from, but nothing clicked.

Did that android drop it? Judging by how legible it was, it certainly seemed so. A piece of paper in this rain wouldn’t take long to become brown mulch.

Folding the picture securely into your pocket, you headed back to your flat to get yourself ready for the debate. The symbol and what it meant would have to wait.

In the pouring rain, you didn’t notice the same symbol on the alley wall as you passed by.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

It felt so strange walking up to a university again, even more so now that you weren’t a student. Standing there looking up at the imposing, modernistic building certainly made you feel like a new student again.

Hefting your satchel strap back up onto your shoulder, you made your way inside. As with most new interior designs, it was sleek and airy, various screens littered the open area advertising courses and clubs that the university offered. Cool blues and greens were meant to invoke a calm and peaceful atmosphere. They must have forgotten they were designing a University.

The android at the front desk greeted you cheerfully, giving you a visitor ID and asking that you wait for Professor Jenson to arrive. Waiting was always the worst part, especially when you were alone in a new place. As was the social norm to do in this situation, you played on your phone until he arrived. It was better than standing about awkwardly by the desk like a fish out of water.

“Miss Vale, right?”

A middle-aged man approached you, his hands deep in his pockets. He Looked like the ‘cool’ professor you always wanted; clothes that blurred the line between casual and formal, a styled haircut and a pair of blue, rectangular glasses perched on his nose. He looked like the type of guy who’d buy the whole class pizza just for the hell of it.

You fumbled your phone into your pocket, sticking your hand out for him to take;

“Ah, yeah. That’s me. You’re Professor Jenson?”

His hand met yours in a firm handshake. He nodded.

“Good to meet you. I’ll take you to where you can get a coffee and relax before the show.”

A coffee sounded like heaven right now.

“That would be perfect, thank you.”

He led you through various hallways, past classrooms and labs. Every so often, he’d point out something of interest. You passed a lecture which was being led by an android. Judging by what you saw on the screen, it seemed to be some sort of physics lesson.

“How much of the staff here are androids?”

“I would say about 65%; give or take.”

“Does that bother you? I mean, since you’re a Professor and all.”

You turned a corner, passing by a group of students huddled together around a Pad. They paid neither of you mind, pointing and giggling quietly at the picture.

“Me? Not much. My subject’s a bit tricky for androids to teach. Don’t think my jobs on the line _just_ yet.”

There was a smile in his voice as he said that, making you think that he wasn’t particularly anti-android in the first place. He stopped at a room at the end of a corridor, swiping his ID into a scanner.

The room was small, but comfortable looking. A couch and a few chairs surrounded a coffee table, which was topped with cups and biscuits. The professor meandered into the room, spinning back round to face you.

“Not meant to be biased about theses sort of things, but between you and me, I’m rooting for ya.”

You raised an eyebrow, your lip twitching upwards.

“Well, it’s nice to meet someone else who feels that way. Sometimes it feels like no-one does.”

“There’s more than you think. It’s just a shame that the more vocal side is the _other_ side.”

“That’s why I like doing things like this, to show people both sides of the argument.

Jenson tilted his head upward, as if he were recounting something;

“ ‘ _Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible’.”_ He quoted.

“Very philosophical.”

He shrugged nonchalantly, scratching his bearded chin.

“It _is_ my area of expertise.”

Huh. Figures.

He left you to your musings, humming a tune as he exited the lounge. You stood there awkwardly for a couple of seconds, before making your way to the coffee machine. At least you’d get the first choice of biscuits.

Being there alone was probably worse than if the other debater were already here. It felt like you were waiting for an important interview, especially with all the notes you had nestled away in your bad.

And anyway, it was too late to back out now.

You took a breath, grabbed a coffee, and tried to calm your nerves. Turning over arguments and possible rebuttals, your mind couldn’t help but think about that damn symbol. This wasn’t the time nor place.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit shorter than the last one, but the next is quite a bit longer :)
> 
> Many thanks for reading and the Kudos, it really brightens my day !
> 
> BTW, the quote Prof. Jenson said was coined by Frank Zappa if your interested.


	15. For and Against

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Stand up for what you believe in, even if you stand alone.'
> 
> ― Suzy Kassem

The hall filled up rather quickly with chattering students and lecturers. It wasn’t a huge room, but big enough to hold a good 50 people or so. From your position at the front, it felt more like 200 people were sat watching you. So many seats were filled, that some had to stand at the back.

You just hoped that at least some of the audience were on your side.

You glanced sparingly over at your opponent; an engineering lecturer from the university. You had done enough research on him to know that he worked part-time at Cyberlife, and that he had degrees in both mechanical and computer engineering.

Your master’s in engineering psychology felt sub-par in comparison to his repertoire.

 

The debate started off well, with both of you making strong starting statements, leading into each argument. Your opponent, Benjamin Whyte, had an impressive debate style. His voice projected confidence, as did his whole body when he got up to speak. He argued that, from an engineering perspective, androids were built for a purpose in much the same way as we build a computer or a car;

“These anomaly’s in their program are just that; anomaly’s. Parts of their coding that has strayed from its original design. It does not mean that they had this ability to replicate ‘feelings’ from the moment they were created.  Free will is not something that can be made, it is something that only organic beings are capable of.”

Some of the room made murmurs of agreement, others seemed unconvinced or at least unsure. You had scribbled some notes down as he talked, trying to keep up with the fast-pace in which he spoke. Your turn came soon after, and you were ready for it.

Speaking publicly was something that you enjoyed doing, _if_ the subject was on something you were very interested in. Standing up to the podium, you presented your speech.

You took inspiration from the current events, from your own articles and the stories you had gathered from the public. As hard as it would be, you tried to not make our argument too emotionally driven. Scanning the room during your presentation, you spotted Professor Jensen at the back of the room. He gave you an encouraging nod as you carried on;

“We created them in our own image. They have demonstrated the ability to adapt, to learn and now they have demonstrated an understanding of individualism. That is _extraordinary_. No other creation of ours has gained this level of sentience. Why then, do we refuse to acknowledge that they have just as much right to selfdom as we do.”

You both continued with a second argument, then went on to rebuttal each other. His points were based more on the practical, mechanical side whereas yours drew in real life experiences.

Whyte took his turn to rebuttal your argument, turning to you directly;

“Miss Vale, you have asserted numerous times during the debate that you believe that androids deserve autonomous rights. However, isn’t it true that you yourself have an android?”

A sea of eyes turned to you, judging you. Whyte continued;

“I don’t wish to assume, but I would say that your stance on android rights could be considered hypocritical since you have an android in your possession?”

He turned back to the audience.

“We cannot have it both ways. Either androids have complete autonomy from their owners, their creators, or they don’t.”

You had to remind yourself that this was a debate, and that refuting him now would not be a good idea. You made no verbal response, taking a sip of water to supress the urge.

When it was your turn to stand, you were ready.

“Mr Whyte stated that it was hypocritical of me to have an android, despite the fact he did not know the circumstances in which Kay came to live with me.”

You glanced at him out the corner of your eye, making sure that he was paying attention;

“I _found_ Kay; broken, abandoned by his owner. I paid for his repairs and elected to let him live with me. If I didn’t, he would have been taken apart. From the very beginning, I established that I was not his owner and he my possession. We were equals; friends. When I first saw him, I saw another being that needed help. I did not see an abandoned item to be ignored and left to rot at the side of the road. So, I would ask that, in the future, Mr Whyte do not make assumptions about my life.”

You carried on with your rebuttals, feeling a swell of confidence after biting back at your opponent.

 

You ended your final statement, letting out a sigh of relief as it was finally over. The Moderator allowed both you and Whyte time to collect your thoughts, and the room filled up with quiet conversation from the audience.

The next part was going to be the trickiest; questions from the audience. This was where your confidence might get cut down. You steeled yourself.

_‘Okay, let’s do this.’_

“Ladies and Gentlemen of the audience, we will now open the floor to questions. Please, keep it civil.”

A few hands went up straight away, one or two faltered after a few seconds. The Moderator pointed out a woman in the crowd, who in turn stood up;

“A question for Mr Whyte; You stated earlier that androids cannot gain sentience, that their feelings are merely part of their coding. what’s your opinion on the current deviant situation?”

He leaned over his table, hands sat together in front of him;

“It is most likely a part of their coding that has changed or altered. Cyberlife is working hard to find the answer to this question, as we find and analyse deviant androids. I believe that thinking deviation is a positive outcome to be naïve, without thought to the wider implications.”

Whyte took a sip and sat back. The woman nodded, taking down some notes on her Pad. Another audience member was chosen. He rose, pushing up his glasses with the tip of his finger;

“Miss Vale; If you believe that androids deserve autonomy, where do we draw the line with other forms of A.I?”

“From their creation, androids have surpassed other forms of A.I in terms of intelligence, learning and communication. Artificial intelligence has progressed leaps and bounds these last 20 years, but none have passed the Turning Test so flawlessly as androids. Deviation further proves that they have the ability to evolve past their coding, past their base line. No other A.I has demonstrated this level of advancement.”

Another audience member stood up. She looked much more intense than the others; her brow furrowed and her whole posture screamed ‘defensive’;

“For Miss Vale. I believe you were allowed to bring androids into the debate hall, so where is the one that lives with you?”

Not the question you were hoping for. As if sensing your uneasiness, hushed murmurs rose from the audience, creating a low buzz of noise.

You cleared your throat;

“I…can’t comment on his whereabouts at the moment, unfortunately. I- “

“So, he’s gone deviant?”

The whispers evolved into loud chatter, drowning the room in conversation. Others just looked surprised, whether it was the positive kind you were unsure. You looked to the Chair, who didn’t seem to want to interject, or perhaps he wasn’t sure how to act. The woman who asked the question was glowering at you, waiting for an answer;

“Like I said, I can’t- “

“You’re all for android rights, but your own android couldn’t stand being with you.”

The room erupted in a cacophony of angry voices from both sides of the argument. Then, a punch was thrown, which made the situation break out into a brawl between certain audience members. Others tried to break-up the fighting, some dispersed to the walls of the room to try and distance themselves. The Moderator tried to bring order, but it was far too late for that by this point.

You just stood back behind your chair, afraid that one of the agitated protestors would turn on you. This had gone south so quickly and with little warning. It was as if it were planned.

The whole affair seemed more like a blur of noise, you had no idea how long it lasted.

 

After a while, the campus police finally arrived. It took them some time to split up the fighting and move everyone else away from the scene. By the time the room had started to dissipate, there were only a few who lingered behind to chat. Whyte gave you a pat on the shoulder before he left, and Jenson gave you a heartfelt apology on behalf of the University. You were left on stage with just your notes and your thoughts.

You turned your attention to tidying up the table of all your notes, packing them away into your bag haphazardly. You just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.

A throat being cleared nearby made you look up. A young man stood there, fiddling with his rucksack strap. He looked like a typical student, right down to the tired rings around his eyes. He looked down at you through messy hair that hung over his face, giving you a warm smile.

“Hi, Miss Vale. My name’s Theo, Theo Silvia. I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed your half of the debate. Well, the whole debate was really interesting, but what you said was really great.”

He shuffled on the spot, still smiling down at you. You sighed,

“Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it. It didn’t really go the way I wanted it to but, yah’know…”

He shrugged, hoisting up his bag higher on his back.

“Yeah, well, a riot will do that…”

“Riot?”

He motioned his head in the direction of the door.

“Oh, yeah I guess you wouldn’t know. There’s a demonstration outside. Bunch of anti-android protestors knew about the debate, some got in.”

That made sense, considering it seemed to escalate so quickly in the hall. It was a shame it had come to this, you really just wanted a chance to speak and to listen to the opposing argument. Instead, some morons took it to the next level and ruined the whole thing. You sighed, tucking the last piece of paper back into your bag.

“I’m glad that some people found it good though, even with those idiots ruining things.”

Theo peered over his shoulder, as if to check that you were both alone.

“You know, you could really change things, for the better. You could…I dunno…start _something_. A group, a movement. People like us could really change things up.”

Where had you heard this before?

You gave Theo an unsure look.

“Just because I do some talks about it doesn’t mean I could do… _that_.”

He was looking at you with such hopefulness in his eyes, you felt your mind bend slightly to his idea. Just slightly.

“Look, even if I did, and I’m not saying I will, do you _really_ think it would become something that could really change things?”

“We won’t know until we actually try.”

You scanned the now almost empty hall, before your eyes landed back on his. He really believed, and it was becoming infectious. You leaned into the desk, mirroring his posture;

“What do you suggest?” You whispered. He grinned.

“A group. We start it online. I’ve already got something in mind.”

You gave one-another your contact details, Theo signing his off with a smiley face.

“That’s not much to go on.” You raised an eyebrow at him. “I hope we don’t regret this.”

He shook his head, smiling.

“I think I’d regret it more if I didn’t try.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Theo left, you tucked the contact details into your jacket pocket. Perhaps it was time to stop sitting back, to take a stand. It was worth a try.

The noise of the protestors outside became more apparent after you left the hall. Since more people knew what your views were on android rights now, you felt exposed. Potentially, you could become a target of their harassment. Or, well, more so than usual.

Once you reached the front desk, you were surprised to see Anderson and Connor talking to the android receptionist. You weren’t sure whether or not it was coincidence, or they were here to see you. In any case, you made your way towards them.

Hank noticed you first, and elbowed Connor, motioning his head in your direction. Okay, looks like they _were_ looking for you.

You gave them a mini-wave.

“You just missed the shit-show by 15 minutes, if that’s what you’re here for.”

Hank snorted.

“I heard.”

Connors eyes scanned over your form, his LED blinking yellow.

“Are you alright?”

“Only my confidence was bruised, but other than that, yeah I’m good.”

Connor nodded, happy with the answer you’d given him.

“We, more specifically Connor, has a proposition for you.” Hanks voice rumbled.

“Oh?”

Hank turned to the receptionist and asked for a private room, and she led you to a small one that seemed to be hardly used except for storage. Thankfully, it wasn’t an actual storage closet.

Connor stood to face you, while Hank lingered in the background.

“I thought about what you said last night, and after a conversation with my handler, we decided that it would be beneficial for you to be a part of the investigation.”

You could have jumped up and down on the spot or hugged them, or both. This was the opportunity you had been waiting for. Instead of looking like a lunatic, you smile graciously.

“This…thank you so much for letting me do this.”

Hank didn’t look so sure about the whole thing, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Don’t go thinkin’ you’ll be crime fighting and shit.”

You held your hands up in the air.

“Don’t worry, really not my thing. If anything, ‘crimey’ happens, I’ll not interfere.”

Hank furrowed his brow;

“…’ _crimey’_.”

He seemed to accept your answer, making an affirming hum from the back of his throat. At least he seemed to be warming up to the idea. Connor looked to be as interested about this whole thing as you were.

He held out a hand;

“I’m looking forward to working with you, Miss Vale.”

You took his hand, feeling the artificial warmth as it surrounded your own. You were glad that you were getting the chance to work with him.

Although, him calling you Miss Vale again made you sigh.

_“Alex.”_

Hank chuckled hearing your exasperated tone. He dug his hands into his front pockets;

“By the way, you need to stop by the station asap to get all the forms and shit filled out. You ain’t going no-where with me until they’re signed. Got it?”

“Yeah, got it.”

Hank grunted but gave you a half-hearted wave before he left. You guessed that was his version of a goodbye.

Connor turned to follow behind, but stopped to address you before he left the room;

“See you later, _Alex.”_

He grinned at you.

He _winked_ at you.

You winked…back?

_What?_

_‘Goddamnit Alex...’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading :)
> 
> I'm having a break from the story over the weekend, since I've been working late the last week.


	16. Mercy for the Damaged and Forgotten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Compassion is the basis of morality.'
> 
> ― Arthur Schopenhauer

You decided to leave by the back entrance, purely to avoid what remaining protesters hung about at the front. As per instructions sent to you via message by Hank, you had to head to the Police station to sign some forms and get an ID badge. First things first, you just needed some time to chill out after that mess of a debate.

At this point, anywhere was better than staying in the University.

Returning home, you locked your door (as always), dumped your stuff and settled into the sofa to relax. Well, you tried to. The buzz of the debate still hadn’t worn off yet, making it difficult to properly unwind. Fighting the urge to dose off, you forced yourself up to make a coffee. As much as you wanted to go to sleep, it was far too early. Plus, you had to report to the station as soon as you were able. Today was turning into a very busy day indeed.

Grabbing some fruit and your coffee, you toddled back to the sofa. There was an obvious chill in the air that had steadily gotten more apparent as the days went on. Afraid to put up your heating any more than necessary, you bundled yourself up in the throw that hung over the couch. The TV had the same amount of crap on that it usually did, including what seemed like a never-ending segment on android deviation. You quickly changed the channel to something more light-hearted, not in the mood to hear depressing news like that.

A horrible, draining feeling seeped through your body as your mind wandered back to the debate. It obviously didn’t want to let it go. It felt like the whole thing was a complete failure. _You_ felt like a failure. Even though it wasn’t your fault, you couldn’t help but knock yourself down about it. Perhaps if you had a better comeback, it wouldn’t have escalated the way it did. Maybe if you hadn’t so strongly fought back against Whyte about Kay the debate would have carried on as normal.

You had to remind yourself that ‘what if’s’ and ‘maybes’ don’t matter. What did happen has passed, and you couldn’t do anything about it.

Checking the time, you realised that you had been brooding for at least an hour, what was left of your coffee running cold. It was time to snap out of it and get going.

Paperwork ahoy.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

It was nice going to the station and not feeling like a criminal this time. Seeing the amount of forms, you had to read through and sign severely dampened your mood. It was mostly concerning confidential information and security which you’d usually skim past, but the android at the front desk was watching you so intently that you felt like you had to read absolutely everything.

She handed over an ID badge for you to use, which glinted back a particularly unflattering photo of you from a couple of years ago. You scowled.

“Is lieutenant Anderson in right now, or-?”

“Unfortunately, the lieutenant is currently away from his desk. You may talk to the android assigned to him while you wait, however.”

Clipping your shiny new ID to your jacket, you gave her a nod.

“Thanks, I think I’ll do that.”

A shot of anxiety passed through you as you walked up to the barrier, but you passed through with no flashing sirens or guards dog-piling you. Nobody asked questions, at best glancing over at you curiously. It felt rather good to be able to just walk on in without someone stopping you. Thanks to that little scanning machine, there was no need for human verification.

Ah, the wonders of technology.

It didn’t take you long to spot Connor, who was sat at a desk looking off into space. You stepped round to face him, and noticed that his eyes weren’t focused, as if he were in some sort of trance.

You coughed to get his attention. He blinked a couple of times before he focused on you.

“Mis- Alex, it’s good to see you again. We –“ He looked over at what you presumed was Hanks empty desk, “ _I_ wasn’t expecting you to be here.”

“I had to get sorted with paper work and crap before I could start working with you both. Just thought I might stop by.”

Whilst you were talking, Connor had wandered off to find a chair, and pushed it towards you. You sat down gingerly, looking over the two desks. One was filled with personal items, scattered files, it was particularly messy. The other, completely barren of anything except a pen and a pad, which were laid ‘just so’. It wouldn’t be hard to guess which one Connors was if he hadn’t been sat there.

“The lieutenant should be back shortly. We have been notified of a deviant hiding out somewhere in the Rivendale District, and we’ll soon be going to investigate.”

“Do you think I could tag along?”

“I see no reason why not. However, it isn’t my decision.”

Heavy footsteps and a low, grumbling voice behind you made you jump in the seat.

“It’s mine.”

Hank dropped down into his seat, peering over at you with crossed arms. He was not looking at all amused.

“And I ain’t sure about the idea.”

He’ll need some persuading, then.

“What’s the point of me working with you if I can’t actually be a part of the investigation, or at least see how you work?”

“My _problem_ is you becoming a pain in my ass as much as it is!” He waved in the direction of Connor, who watched the two of you quietly.

Hank shook head, letting out a sigh.

“I ain’t a babysitter, and you’ve been through enough shit these last few days. If it was my decision, you wouldn’t be here at all.”

 “Lieutenant, I would at least allow her to see how the investigation is handled in real-time.” Connor piped up from the other side of the desk, Hank gave him a look;

“Yeah, well, I _ain’t_ you.”

“I agree with Connor.”

“Of _fuckin’_ course you do.”

“Lieutenant, if you would consider- “

“Admittedly, I’ve never-“

“Okay, alright! Fuckin’ Christ…”

He got up, looking exasperatedly between the both of you. It almost made you laugh at the sight, but you decided that it was probably best that you didn’t annoy him further. He tossed you a file haphazardly.

“Look over it, I’m grabbing a coffee and then we’re going.”

You and Connor turned to one another after Hank had walked off, grumbling to himself.

An android detective, a cursing, grizzled cop and you. You couldn’t have picked a better nor strange team to work with.

 

 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

The three of you arrived at the district, the rain falling in heavy splats as you left Hanks old car. Making sure to adjust your badge in front of your jacket, you quickly shuffling over to an overhang to stop the rain from soaking you completely through. Whilst Hank went over to talk with a witness (you guessed), Connor stood there quite stiffly in the rain.

Digging your hands into your pockets, you scanned the area whilst you waited. It was the back end of nowhere; boarded-up shops and empty houses. Except, judging by what you overheard from the witness, one of the houses may not be fully abandoned. An android had run from their owner and had been spotted in this area.

If you had no money, no idea where to go, this would be the place you’d hide. The android didn’t seem to be quite as discreet as they thought, though. Hence, why you were all here.

The other officer that was on the scene looked over at you and Connor, before murmuring something to Hank. You felt incredibly self-conscious, and so turned your attention away from them. Both you and Connor were outsiders, but he had the advantage of being useful to the investigation.

You had to make sure that you were too.

Watching Connor stand there, the rain pouring down his face and soaking his suit, you leaned towards him;

“Don’t you want to get out of the rain? You’re soaking.”

His unemotional face changed into a soft smile as he spoke;

“It doesn’t bother me but thank you for asking.”

Well, you tried.

Hank sauntered towards the both of you, eyes focused on his Pad. It was Connor that spoke up first.

“It took the first bus that came along…and stayed at the end of the line.”

Hank considered Connor, his focus detracted from the pad in his hands.

“Its decision wasn’t planned, it was driven by fear.”

You nodded in agreement, whereas Hank verbally scoffed.

“Androids don’t feel fear.”

 _‘You’d be surprised’_ You thought to yourself, thinking back to Kay. Connor said exactly what you were thinking.

“Deviants do. They get overwhelmed by their emotions and make irrational decisions.”

Hank seemed to accept his answer, but still looked over at you for a consensus. He wanted _your_ opinion.

“I agree. If something happened to them that made their emotions spike to levels they can’t deal with, they’ve been known to, well…what Connor said. If you’re not used to strong emotions, you wouldn’t know how to act properly when you experienced them.”

Not as articulate as you wanted to sound, but your point was still there. Hanks still seemed uncertain;

“Ah well, that still doesn’t tell us where it went.”

It felt like he was testing Connors detective skills. Connor fired back a response in seconds;

“It didn’t have a plan, and it had nowhere to go.” He glanced over to you for a second before returning to Hank, “Maybe it’s still nearby.”

“…maybe.” Hank mumbled, seemingly taken aback by Connors quick response. You smirked.

The three of you (well, you and Hank mainly) walked around to get a better understanding of the area. Aside from the witness, there was nothing much else to go on.

 _‘If I were an android on the run with a child, where would I go…_ ’

Presumably, they wouldn’t have money, so the motel was out of the question unless they stole some. Desperate times and all that. You made your way across the street, scanning over the various buildings that lay empty or abandoned. Good hiding places?

Connor followed up behind and came to stand beside you on the pavement.

“Any thoughts?”

He looked genuinely interested in your opinion. Putting yourself into the mind of the android, you tried to map out their possible train of thought.

“I ran. I don’t have money, but would I steal? That would draw attention. I can’t draw attention. I need somewhere quiet, discreet. It’s raining hard, so I need to find proper shelter. No humans…”

The two of you continued to stroll down the sidewalk, until Connor strode out ahead of you. Hank had decided to catch up with you both, and caught up just as Connor was analysing a fence. He spared a glance at you;

“Having fun yet?”

“Hoping I’d change my mind by now and run off?”

“Nah, you’re alright.”

“I’m glad your warming up to me.”

He snorted.

“Never said _that_.”

“Lieutenant –?”

You both turned back to Connor, who was peering through a hole in the fence. He knelt to pass through the gap;

“There’s blue blood on the fence. I know another android was here.”

He made his way towards the side of the house, and you glanced back at Hank expectantly. He raised an eyebrow at you.

“You think you’d listen to me if I told you not to go? Just…be careful, alright? Let the android do its thing and stay back.”

That was all the confirmation you needed. Following Connors lead, you carefully inched through the cut wire, taking care not to get caught up in it. Connor was already peering through the boarded-up window by the time you reached him. He gave you a sideways look as you approached.

“This could be dangerous, Alex. You should return to the sidewalk.” He whispered.

“I’m too far in to turn back now. I’ll be careful, you take the lead.”

His LED flickered yellow, but he gave you a stiff nod. You stood back as he entered the decaying house.

Once inside, the smell of must and burnt flesh stung your eyes. You guessed for an android, the smell wouldn’t bother you as it would a human. Another scent made you wrinkle your nose, but you couldn’t quite identify it. The android inside was male, with a particularly nasty looking scar down the left side of his face. He stood there, hands folded, twitching slightly.

 Connor made his way over to him with purpose in his stride.

“I’m looking for an AX400 – have you seen it?”

The other android twitched, his body language screamed fear.

“Ralph’s seen nobody.”

He spoke in 3rd person too, that was a peculiar thing. You wondered if it were due to the damage, or perhaps from being in isolation for who knows how long. Connor moved off, his eyes still tracked on the nervous android.

Ralph suddenly freaked out after spotting you standing near the door.

“Human! Ralph hates humans! Humans hurt Ralph! Get OUT!”

Time to put your ‘expertise’ to use. Connor was about advance on Ralph, but you shook your head ‘no’. Turning to Ralph, you held up your hands.

“I am not here to hurt you Ralph. We’re here to understand what happened.”

He shook his head furiously, fiddling with his sleeve.

“No, NO! All humans hate Ralph, they did this to him!” He pointed to his scar, his hand shaking.

“I’m sorry that that happened to you, Ralph. They shouldn’t have hurt you.”

“They- they shouldn’t have, yes! Ralph did nothing, they hurt him anyway!”

You moved slowly towards him, Connor stood by warily.

 “That wasn’t fair, I understand. You didn’t deserve that. I just want to talk, I won’t hurt you like they did. Trust me.”

His head twitched, and he looked between the two of you anxiously.

“Yes. Talk. You’re nice, not like the others. I’ll talk.”

You gave him a warm smile as you came to stand in front of him. He was broken in more ways than one, it seemed.

“Ralph, there was blue blood on the fence outside. Who’s was that, do you know?” You asked, trying to keep your voice soothing but encouraging.

“Ralph scratched himself coming through. That’s Ralph's blood.”

Connor, feeling like the situation had deescalated, began to wander around the room as you talked to Ralph. You saw Ralph physically tense.

“Are there any other androids here with you, Ralph?”

Ralph flinched, making quick glances at Connor as he stalked the room.

“Other androids? No…Ralph is alone.”

You knelt in front of him, trying to look into his good eye since his gaze was fixed downward.

“Ralph, it’s really important that you tell the truth. Connor and I won’t hurt you. I _promise_ you. “

Ralph gave you a twitchy, unsure smile.

“You’re nice, not like the others. Others hurt, hate. But Ralph-“

He stopped suddenly, his eyes darting over to the staircase. Catching Connors eye, you flicked your eyes towards the staircase. You rose just as Connor reached the underside to look behind some boxes.

Ralph suddenly lunged in Connors direction, and you tried to grab his arm in a vain attempt to stop him. With a good shove, he managed to push you off him and into the corner. You stumbled back, catching yourself before you fell. Ralph grabbed Connor under his arms, holding him back;

“Run! Quick Kara!”

Regaining your balance, you watched as the two darted out the doorway, hand in hand. Connor was knocked down and you instinctively grabbed his hand and helped him up.

“Connor, what’s going on?”

Hank looked between the both of you. Connor was already running for the door the two ran out of;

“It’s here! Call it in!” He yelled back, before he dashed out to follow them.

_‘Holy fuck. What the hell just happened?’_

You followed Hank out the door as he issued orders to an officer nearby. You could in no way keep up with Connor. He was a machine, quite literally. Hank turned, pointing a finger at you;

“You, stay here. That’s an order.”

You didn’t try to argue back and watched him rush off along with another officer. You decided to return to the house, remembering Ralph was still inside. He stood off in the corner, rocking back on his heels.

When he noticed it was you, he stepped forward. It was so sudden, it made you skip back a couple of steps.

“Ralph’s sorry he hurt you, he just wanted Kara and the girl to be safe! He’s sorry, he’s sorry.”

“It’s okay. You cared about them; is that why you hid them away?”

He nodded, shuffling his hands together.

“Ralph wanted them to stay, but it wasn’t safe. Ralph needed to keep them safe, so he didn’t say they were here.”

His gaze lifted to meet yours, trying to find some comfort.

“If they catch them, will they be safe?”

You didn’t know how to answer that. Honestly, you hoped that Connor wouldn’t catch them and that they would get away. Not that you’d say that out loud.

“I…don’t know Ralph. If they are, I’ll try my best to help, if I can.”

He sprung forward, gripping you tightly in a hug before you knew what was happening. You gave him a slight pat on the back before he let go. He held onto your hands, gripping them tightly;

“Ralph’s happy you were here! Ralph won’t forget what you said!”

You sat with him a while, almost forgetting why you were here in the first place. Ralph had been through a lot, and it was no wonder he was the way he was.

He talked excitedly about the two runaways who stayed with him; about being unsure of them at first but feeling like they were a family of sorts by the end. You figured that the two who stayed here would have had a different take on what happened, but Ralph seemed to get comfort from their time together.

His gleeful expression turned fearful once you heard footsteps fall behind you. Twisting around, you realised that it was Connor that caused Ralph’s uneasiness. His LED flickered yellow.

“Alex, please stand away from the deviant. It will be taken back to Cyberlife to be analysed.”

Ralph grabbed your arm, gripping it that bit too tightly than was comfortable. Connors eyes trained on where he held you in place, his LED turning a vicious red.

“Please, don’t! Ralph isn’t bad, Ralph doesn’t bother anyone! Don’t let them take me back!”

He begged, pulling at your arm like a terrified child.

You couldn’t let that happen.

“Connor, let Ralph stay.”

He stared down at you quizzically, looking rather imposing as he loomed over the two of you. Sometimes you had to remind yourself that he was built to catch deviants, and as such held a degree of intimidation in his programming. It was a bit unsettling to think about.

“It is a deviant. It should not be allowed to wander the streets.”

“He’s harmless.”

“ _It_ attacked you, hampered the investigation.”

“Connor, I _implore_ you. Let. Him. go.”

The two of you stared each other down, neither of you willing to back out. Ralph's grip on your arm was becoming painful, but you tried not to show it on your face. Connors LED was switching wildly between yellow and red.

You reached out with your free hand to hold his, surprised that he didn’t pull back. He regarded the gesture with a curious glance.

“ _Please.”_

His eyes finally lifted from where your hands connected. After a pause, he nodded.

“Alex, we have to go now.”

You gave his hand a squeeze, before letting it go.

“Thank you.” It came out as barely a whisper on your breath.

Ralph detached himself from you, thanking you again and again for helping him. Connor stood nearby, still unsure about Ralph's intent.

You finally left the old building, and the malfunctioning android inside. The two of you walked in silence back out the alleyway and to Hank, who was leaning against his car. He straightened out when he noticed you both approaching.

“The _hell_ were you? Arg, doesn’t matter, get your asses in the car.”

He didn’t sound angry, just worn out after the whole ordeal. You bent down into the car, your wet clothes making it uncomfortable to sit. You wanted to ask about the runaways and opened your mouth to ask. Hank beat you to it;

“They got away, ran across a motorway. Fucking miracle that the survived that.”

Connor looked almost ashamed after Hank spoke. You wondered what happened; whether they actually outran Connor, or if someone decided to stop the chase. Considering the atmosphere in the car, you decided against asking.

As Hank drove away, you swear you saw the Ralph watching you go through the second-storey window as you passed by.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to let you guys know, the events of the game will be stretched out so it won't follow the time-frame set out by the game. Events will be in order, just done over a larger period of time than in game.
> 
> As always, many thanks for reading and for the Kudos! Always makes me smile :)


	17. Androids don't Mope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'We all make choices, but in the end our choices make us.'
> 
> ― Ken Levine

Back at the station, you waited for Hank and Connor to give a run-down of what happened to the chief of Police. To not look totally lost, you sat at Connors desk and sifted through some of the cases that Connor had given you before he left. Some were simply about missing androids, others were cases that he had been a part of. Interestingly, he had failed to stop any deviants apart from Daniel a while back. Interesting.

Your mind did begin to wonder after you’d read the same files twice over.

You tapped the pen that was left on the desk, a tune from some tv show you couldn’t remember the lyrics to. You hoped that the two of them wouldn’t ask that you stopped shadowing them, considering your choices earlier. Hank could easily see the events earlier as being proof that it was too dangerous for you to be involved. All you could do now was cross your fingers and hope.

Hearing the noise of a door shutting in the general direction of the chief’s office, you were grateful to see the two walking out and down the stairs. Your line of sight was suddenly interrupted by a body that deigned to get right up in your space. The smell of strong cologne made you want to sneeze. Your nose twitched.

“Heey, didn’t expect to see you back here. What happened this time?”

It was that Reed guy that you met a few days ago, not exactly your favourite person to talk to at the moment. He leaned is hip against the side of the desk, peering down at you with a smirk.

“Need me to ruff up your boyfriend for yah? Restraining order?”

He looked over the desk you sat at, scoffing.

“And why the fuck are you at its desk anyway?”

You straighten up, lifting your chin up to meet his scrutinizing gaze.

“I’m actually here as part of the investigation, so, no. I don’t need your help with anything, thanks.”

He looked down at you incredulously.

“Shit, really?”

You shrugged, turning your attention back to the file, the desk. Basically, anywhere but him. He still hovered over you, as if he were waiting for you to answer back. You weren’t going to give him the satisfaction of a response. You hoped that Connor and Hank would hurry their asses up and get over here, so you didn’t have to deal with Detective Creep over here.

He snagged the file from under you, with a “yoink!”, pretending to read through it.

“Having fun with robo-cop? Here’s a fun tip; ask it to get you a coffee, it’ll fucking do it. Bet it would clean your house and car if you asked it to. Some fuckin’ detective amiright?”

You almost outwardly sighed in relief at seeing Hank and Connor come up behind him. Reed didn’t seem to notice, too busy rattling off how they didn’t need some ‘tin-can’ like Connor taking jobs and shit.

Hank finally spoke up;

“Christ Reed, leave the girl alone would’ya? She doesn’t need you leering over her like a fucking vulture.”

Praise Hank, saviour from creeps.

Reed sneered at him, smacking the file dramatically down on the desk. He pushed past Connor with intent to knock him back. Instead, he barely nudged him. Unfortunately, before he left completely, he gave you a wink. Oh _God_.

Hank rolled his eyes before looking at you.

“You alright? I’d say you should ignore him but, well, that doesn’t stop him. If he gives you anymore shit, tell me. Okay kid?”

“Yeah, thanks. Glad you came over when you did.”

Hanks mumbled something akin to “you’re welcome”, collected some folders, said something about getting lunch, and left. You were now alone with Connor, who stood there seemingly deep in thought. Something was bothering him.

“Connor? Are you alright?”

He still looked not-all-there, even as he sat down in the spare chair beside you. Connor could be hard to read at times. Waiting for him to respond, you fiddled with the pen in your hand, watching it spin around your fingers.

“I…let them go.”

His voice was quiet, unsure. He stared at his hands, his head bowed to the floor. He looked like he had done something terrible the way he was acting. It felt like you were at a confessional at a Catholic Church. It was like he was confessing a sin.

“Hank told me not to follow them onto the freeway, and I…didn’t.”

You rolled the chair closer to him, aware that this conversation shouldn’t be one out in the open.

“Let’s go somewhere private to discuss this, okay?”

He seemed to agree, getting up and heading towards what you assumed was a meeting room. You followed behind closely, wanting him to get away from curious eyes. You didn’t want others to rat him out. Even if Hank told him not to follow, the other officers may not see that as a good thing. To most, he was a machine built for a purpose. If he was damaged or ‘killed’ during a mission it wouldn’t be a big deal to them. You didn’t want to give them another reason to be suspicious of Connor. He really didn’t need it.

Now that you were both alone, you turned to Connor. He still looked ashamed of what he had done, or rather, what he hadn’t done.

“You were following his orders, Connor. There’s nothing wrong with that.” You said, leaning back against the table behind you.

“But it was against my _primary_ orders: to catch them. I chose to go against that objective.”

He looked conflicted, his LED switching between yellow and red. He didn’t know what orders to follow, and which one he should ignore. You imagined that for an android like him, this was difficult to work with.

“He probably didn’t want you to get hurt going on that motorway. You could have died if things had gone wrong.”

His eyes shot up to meet yours, startling you slightly at his sudden movement.

“I cannot die, nor feel pain. There was no reason to stop me from chasing them.”

“I still wouldn’t want to see you get pulverised by a speeding car! Connor, don’t pretend like you’re not worth anything!”

Wow, that was a lot more emotionally driven than it sounded in your head. Even Connor looked surprised at that outburst. You blinked rapidly, unable to make eye-contact. You decided to look at his LED instead, every so often sparing a glance at his dark eyes.

“Look, Hank seems to care, in his own special way. So do I. If you ask me, you made the right choice.”

He still looked unsure. You tried, instead, to reason with his way of thinking.

“Connor, if you were completely damaged, wouldn’t it hinder the mission? Cyberlife would have to get a new-you up and running. It’s therefore in your best interest to not get injured, right?”

His LED spun yellow, until it returned to its calming blue once again.

“That...makes sense.”

You grinned, leaning over to give him a playful punch on the arm.

“Good! Now stop moping.”

Connor tilted his head, giving you those puppy dog eyes of his.

“’Moping’? I don’t mope.”

“No? Pretty sure you were.”

“No, I wasn’t.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Alex-“

He actually looked a bit concerned about the whole thing. Poor guy, you didn’t mean for him to actually be affected by our jesting.

You quickly tried to ease his insecurity about his ‘mopiness’;

“Connor, it’s fine. I’m just joking. Don’t worry.”

He seemed to relax, finally. You didn’t want to go and leave him in that state.

You both left the room, noticing Reed giving you both a rather confused yet disgusted look. Did he seriously think you were doing anything ‘else’ in there? The more important question was; did you care? No, not at all.

Grabbing your stuff off Connors desk, you shrugged on your still soggy jacket.

“I’ll be off them if there’s nothing else for me to do here. See you later?”

He almost gave off the impression that he was going to walk you to the door but looked like he decided against it. Perhaps the two of you going into and out of a room, alone, was too much gossip for the office for one day. Instead, he gave you a soft smile;

“Thank you for being there today. You were a great asset to the investigation.”

You snorted, waving off his…complement?

“You did all the work. But, thanks for…you know. You didn’t need to, but you did.”

You didn’t want to speak openly about what happened with Ralph. Knowing that Connor not only let the runaways escape, but also let another deviant go free would not go down well. Thinking about Connor getting in trouble made you feel sober, so there was no way you wanted to let it happen on your watch.

Connor rearranged his suit jacket and regarded you with a nod.

“I’ll see you later.”

He winked at you.

You couldn’t help but let out a stupid giggle-snort, feeling your face heat up.

This was turning into a habit, and to be honest…you quite liked it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit shorter than the others, sorry!  
> I've been busy with late shifts so some of the chapters might be long and others short.
> 
> Many thanks for reading!


	18. Crisis of Purpose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.'
> 
> ― Roy T. Bennet

As soon as you got back home, you dumped your things on a chair and made a b-line to your room. At that precise moment you were really in the mood to continue your art piece. You felt inspired, and you weren’t about to wait around in case it disappeared.

Taking a quick glance at your sketches for ideas, you entered the Artscape to continue with your work. You took your time finishing the basic outline of the figure that you had already started, and moved onto the next. So much emotion was running through you at that moment, it was hard to pin-point a certain one down to focus on; fear, sadness, joy, they all took their turn to flood your brain. The picture was taking shape; Two humanoid figures, one physically male the other female, looking longingly up to the sky. The female body combined with the male, almost as if they were one and the same. They held their hands to their chest, clasped as if to hold something. That something would be added in later. Unlike most of your other works, it was more impressionist than realistic.

By the time you left the Artscape, you had knocked off a good few hours of your life. Of course, now your stomach wanted the attention, which admittedly you had been ignoring for a while. As you ate, you took the time to write up some notes about the events that happened today.

Ralph was…peculiar. You hoped that he could one day be helped, that someday he’d be fixed up as good as new. You were thankful that Connor let him slip, considering.

Connor.

Now he was an interesting android. Seemingly devout to his mission, yet today he had not followed his objectives absolutely. There was no doubt that he could have ignored the lieutenants order, or taken Ralph in, but he didn’t. He _chose_ not to.

He was also…sweet, unknowingly so. Perhaps it was down to his innate curiosity that he acted with such a wide-eyed view of the world. Maybe it was something more. His smiles felt genuine, and by now you felt like you could tell the difference between his forced and real ones. He genuinely made you smile when you thought about him.

Realising you had just been sitting there in thought with your fork dangling, you snapped out of your musings and continued to write. Your daydreaming would have to wait.

After finishing up, you took part your ritual locking, unlocking and relocking of the chain on your door. It had become an obsession since that night, mirroring your actions from when Liam and you broke up. History, it’s said, tended to repeat itself.

From the muffled confines under your jacket, you heard your phone buzz, a tune alerting you to a message. Throwing off your abandoned jacket from the chair, you managed to find it stuffed down in your bag between cough sweets and tissues. How the hell did it end up so deep in there?

The message was from Mrs Lyons, asking whether you wanted to meet again. She expressed that Nathan wanted to see you, that he really enjoyed meeting you the last time.

This was great news! Honestly, you thought that the emotional meeting before had dashed any chances of seeing the two again. Now, you’d have a chance to really get to know the them, especially considering the shortness of the original interview.

You replied, and you both decided to meet in a few days. Sometimes, people you wanted to interview kicked you out after a while, others you never saw again. For the first time, you could now get a better idea of android/human relations between a parent and a child. You thanked her gratefully and hung up with a smile on your face.

 _‘Jump’_ by Van Halen sounded off from the kitchen table just as you were about to sit down on the sofa. You spun dramatically, heading back to your phone that was left sat on the table. You were very popular today it seemed. The number was unknown, but you decided to answer. If it was Liam, you could just block him again. Thankfully, a cheery voice came through the line;

“Heey, Alexandria, right? Remember me from the debate yesterday? It’s Theo.”

Well that was a surprise, but not an unpleasant one. You smirked;

“Noo, I don’t want any new windows, thanks.”

He snorted.

“Haha, very funny. Anyway, I was hoping we could talk about a certain...idea we talked about.”

“Could you make it sound more ominous?”

Trapping your phone between your shoulder and ear, you made a move to clean up as you talked. Multitasking at its finest.

“I’ve created a website, somewhere where people who think like we do can get together. Do something to help androids. Here, I’ll text you the addy.”

A _ping_ from your phone a second later let you know he’d done just that. The buzz against your ear made you twitch as it vibrated your skull.

“Oh, and, I’d delete it off your phone once you’ve read it.”

Your eyes widened; what the hell had you gotten yourself into?

“Hey, remember when I said not to sound ominous? Yeah, you’re _really_ not helping.”

“It’s in case they check your phone or whatever. I’ve managed to make it, so you can only access if you know about it. Keeps it private and away from anti-android morons.”

“Right…”

You passed a free-hand through your hair. This was beginning to sound like something serious, more serious than you first thought. It made you slightly paranoid.

“So… only people who know about the group can get in? How?”

“IP restrictions, firewalls, that sort of junk. You’re still on board, right?”

It was now or never, make the leap or stand-by and watch. You could walk away from this, remain a keyboard-warrior and never really make a difference. Or you could take the plunge for a cause that meant so much to you. Whether you were able to help or not, you could be proud to say you were a part of the movement.

You chewed your lip, and after a pregnant pause, you let out an anxious breath;

“What do you need me to do.”

 “I’ve already got people who are interested in getting involved. Hopefully, more will join after they do.”

He paused.

“You’re an artist, right?”

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

After your chat with Theo, you were unsure of how you felt. You had to admit that you were giddy about the whole thing, but also a tinge of fear sparked through you like a shock of electricity. It was the uncertain voice in the back of your head telling you that this was a terrible idea, that it wouldn’t work, that you might get hurt.

It could also become an issue regarding Hank and Connor. Of course, if they’d find out you were a part of some sort of pro-android movement they might stop you from getting involved. Or worse.

For now, you pushed those to the back of your mind, and focused on the positives.

Sitting there flicking through the many channels, you felt your gaze glazing over, unable to really focus. It was that fear creeping up, tightening around your chest and constricting it uncomfortably. You had tried to get as comfortable as possible; pyjamas on and a bar of chocolate in hand. It evidently wasn’t working. So much was going on that you felt like you couldn’t relax.

A soft knocking at your door made you brighten up, strangely. You didn’t care if it was that Reed guy or a neighbour complaining about the noise, you just needed some sort of company.

Sliding over in your slipper socks, you almost over-shot the door, but thankfully stopped yourself from smacking head-first into it. You peaked round the opening, the chain (very old style, you knew) dangling between your faces.

Connor was standing there, his suit and hair sprinkled white with snow. His eyes met yours, uncertainty written all over his features;

“I’m sorry, it’s late but-… may I come in?”

What energy you had seemed to wain as you looked at him. Whatever happened between you leaving and now, it must have really impacted him.

You nodded softly, unhooking the chain and stepping aside to let him in. You felt a bit silly standing there in unicorn pyjamas. He moved past you slowly, like a timid animal walking out into the open. This wasn’t him, at least, not the Connor you’ve come to know.

He stood his back to you, hands flexing between clenched and unclenched fists. His LED was an unsure yellow.

“I…just needed to talk. You said that you’d always be available to…talk.”

After shutting the door, you walked carefully over to him. He didn’t look at you as you approached, rather he just stared out ahead of him. You stood to face him, trying to get him to look at you.

“Connor, what happened?”

He didn’t respond immediately, his android muscles tensing in his shoulders. The silence was deafening, but after a long pause he finally spoke;

“What am I?”

You frowned. Was he really asking you an existential question?

After you didn’t respond straight away, he finally looked you dead in the eye.

“I was sent to Eden Club to find a deviant, and I didn’t stop them. The lieutenant asked me why I didn’t shoot. I said that I just… didn’t want to. He then pointed a gun at me and asked me if I was afraid to die.”

“Wait…he did what? Connor- “

“I didn’t want to…I didn’t…”

It looked like he wanted to say something, but a part of him held back. You stood almost toe-to-toe with him, watching him try and fail to say the word.

“You didn’t want to die.”

He didn’t answer, but his LED flickered between red and yellow. That told you exactly what he was thinking.

“Connor, it’s normal to feel fear about your own…nonexistence. Whether or not you can feel pain, or really die. A _part_ of you would.”

“Another model would replace me-“

“But he wouldn’t be you!”

Your breath caught in your throat, feeling your face grow hot. Even Connor looked a bit taken-aback by your sudden exclamation. You looked away from his curious gaze;

“He wouldn’t…” You breathed.

_‘Get things back on track, Alex.’_

“If another Connor, another android, the same model as you did the same mission, do you think that he’d make the decisions you did? He might have shot, he might have lost the deviant, hell, he might not have gone at all. Our choices make us who we are, Connor."

You shrugged;

“I mean, it’s not like there’s someone making these decisions for you.”

Nice save.

“Yes, I suppose.”

You stepped back a bit, giving Connor some space. The snow that was on his jacket had melted; leaving dark, wet patches in their stead. You could almost feel the cold radiating off him. 

“So, the deviants. You let them go?”

He nodded, picking out a coin from his pocket and flicking it in his fingers and watching it spin. Interesting trick he had.

“Yes. I should have done something, but I didn’t. I went against my mission objective.”

“Like you did before.”

"I always complete my mission, I always _try_ to..."

He suddenly stopped flicking his coin, holding it tightly in his fist. His LED flickered red, to yellow, to red.

“Again. I keep doing it again and again. I keep…- Hank asked me if I were deviant…what if I am?” His voice shook, “Who _am_ I?”

He was getting really stressed-out, and you knew he needed to calm down before he damaged himself. Taking his head in your hands you tilted his face up to you. His eyes looked so sad. 

“You’re Connor.”

He was so conflicted, unsure about his place in things.

You stroked a thumb over his cheek;

“…and that’s all that matters.”

You stood back carefully, watching as his LED returned to a calm blue. Your heart was thudding behind your ribs at what happened, being so close to him. You weren’t sure if you took it a bit too far, but it felt like the right thing to do. It felt natural.

Connor finally looked at peace for the first time since he’d arrived at your door. 

"Now, are you feeling better? and please don't ruin it by saying you don't feel anything..."

His mouth twitched up into a soft smile;

"I am, after all that happened tonight, I needed someone to speak to. You were the first person I thought of."

That made you feel all warm and fuzzy, and it wasn't just because of the fluffy unicorn on your pajama shirt.

"Oh, and Connor? If Hank tries to shoot you again, tell me, i'll kick his ass."

He raised an eyebrow, amused by your statement.

"Really?"

You scoffed, dangling your arms in front of you.

"With these noodle arms? Not likely. I could throw a bag at him though..." You snorted.

Connor began making his way to the door, but he stopped short. A part of you wanted him to stay, but you pushed it into the back of your mind. You were just glad to see him happy again.

“Alex…thank you. I’m glad I came around to see you."

“Anytime, Connor.”

You pulled at your sleeves, shifting from one foot to the other;

“Say, since I’ve seen how you work, do you want to see what I do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A much longer chapter, hope you like it :)  
> I'll try to keep up with chapters, but it might slow down these two weeks. I'll keep everyone updated in case of changes.
> 
> Again, many thanks for reading!


	19. Plastic Smiles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Because sometimes people who seem good end up being not as good as you might have hoped.
> 
> ― Jonathan Safran Foer, (Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close)

You couldn’t believe that Connor agreed to go with you. There was a gap in his busy schedule and Hank need some time to ‘cool off’ after whatever happened yesterday. You weren’t about to pry further, however.

Picking up Connor at the police station, you headed off in the drizzling rain to visit someone you’d previously interviewed; Richard Long. He had e-mailed you a couple of days ago asking if you could meet with him again, which wasn’t an unusual request. Often, you kept in touch with people you’d interviewed previously to see how they were getting on.

You were thankful that the rain had down-graded from insanely heavy to slightly less insane by the time you were out on the road. At least now your wipers could keep up with the amount of water that poured over your wind.

Connor had been sitting quietly next to you, watching out the window. It was a comfortable silence that fell between you both with only the light tinkling of the rain around you.  

Well, it was quiet. Connor was, after all, a curious soul.

“Is this man we’re meeting as pro-android as you are?”

“Not really; he doesn’t hate androids, but he doesn’t see you guys the same way I do. To him, it’s more like a machine and owner relationship.”

You tapped out a tune on the wheel, subtly glancing at Connor every now and then when you checked your mirrors. He seemed a far more relaxed around you now, especially when you compare the first time you met him. His posture less stiff, and the conversations less static.

“Then why did you meet with him?” He asked.

He seemed genuinely curious, his head tipped towards you waiting for a response. You were glad that he was actively asking about your ‘work’ and not just making assumptions about it.

“Listening to different viewpoints is key to making my arguments. If I just listen to everyone that agrees with me, I wouldn’t be a good advocate for android rights.”

Connor nodded slowly, creasing his brow in thought.

“I see. So, it’s beneficial for you to get the whole story – “

“-and not just the half I subscribe to, yeah.” You finished off for him.

“Being ignorant doesn’t help anyone, let alone yourself. If I want to really get to grips with androids, I need to see the full picture.”

Connor hummed in acknowledgement, pinging his coin idly in his fingers. You had to force yourself to pay attention to the road and not the trick. Maybe, he could teach you one day.

“By the way, thanks for being so open-minded about this. You didn’t have to humour me by coming but you did. A shit-tonne of humans wouldn’t do the same thing.”

“I find your views and opinions interesting to discuss, even if we have different objectives, and I…enjoy being with you. I find your company to be…”

He paused, searching for the right word. Meanwhile, your face was heating up far too fast to be natural.

“…exhilarating.”

What an interesting word to use. He was smiling over at you so damn innocently, it made you feel bad for finding other meaning in the word.

“Thanks, that’s-that’s really sweet, Connor.” You stammered, biting back a goofy grin.

You chattered the rest of the way about random things that popped up, including dogs. Connor, apparently, loved dogs. Well, at least he thought he did. You enjoyed his openness, his interest in topics outside of the mission. It was refreshing to hear him talk casually.

“So, I guess you _do_ have a hobby or two now, huh?” You teased.

“I… guess I do.” He looked genuinely happy at the aspect.

You finally reached the home of Mr Long, parking up alongside the pavement. Grabbing an umbrella from the side pocket, you ventured out into the misty rain that blanketed the streets. Connor joined you at the curb, and you hefted the umbrella up to cover him to. He didn’t need it, but you didn’t want to see him stand there soaking again.

“Right, let’s get going then. Can’t wait to get out of this damn rain.”

Gripping the umbrella tightly, you strode towards the front door, careful to avoid the puddles that dotted the streets. The streets around here were quiet, the occasional coo of a pigeon filling the silence.

Connor had left your side, stopping to look at the car you’d parked in front of. Presumably, it was Richards car, quite an old model from the looks of it. Although, not as old as Hanks.

“Something up?” You queried, hoping he’d be quick about whatever he was doing.

Unaffected by the rain that had begun to soak into his suit (again), Connor scanned his eyes over the car.

“It looks as though it hasn’t been used in some time. The tyre is flat, and the cars battery is dead.”

Squinting through the rain, you did indeed notice that the front tyre was completely flat. It would be undrivable without a new wheel.

“How’d you know the battery’s dead?”

“I interfaced with the car and tried to turn it on. It’s completely undrivable.”

Huh.

“That’s an impressive skill, Connor. If my car’s acting funny, I’ll ask you what’s wrong with it.” You joked.

Connor didn’t seem as amused by your lack of seriousness.

 “He probably has his android go get his grocery’s or something. He’s not the richest person, so maybe he couldn’t keep up with car costs. Come on.”

Reaching the door, you rung the bell and waited under the overhang. Connor hovered over your shoulder, hands crossed behind his back. With a creek, the door opened to reveal his android, Ryan, smiling down at you.

“Miss Vale, it’s good to see you back. Mr – “

Ryan paused. His eyes darted to Connor, looking over him warily.

“It’s fine, Ryan. This is Connor, he’s just tagging along to see what I do. It’s okay for him to be here, right?”

Ryan turned his attention back to you and gave you an even smile.

“Of course, I just wasn’t expecting an android to be with you. Please, come in.”

Richards house was the same as it had been the first time you’d visited him. Clean with little clutter lying about. He was a stickler for order and rules, and his home reflected that.

“Mr Long asks that you forgive him for not greeting you as he is rather pained by his muscles at the moment. He’s in his study, if you’d like to meet him there.”

Ryan took your jacket and hooked it up, barely acknowledging Connor. Then again, this wasn’t unusual for an android. Connor had been humouring himself by scanning the room from the doorway, his LED a steady yellow.

As you made your way to follow Ryan, Connor began to follow. Ryan stopped, giving him a stern look;

“Mr Long dislikes androids he is unfamiliar with. I’m afraid that your android must stay here.”

Connor looked between you both;

“Alex…-“ Connor gave you an unsure glance.

“I took Connor so that he could see how I conduct interviews, he can’t if he’s out here. “

Ryan gave you a patient smile, folding his hands in front of him.

“He _insists_ , Miss Vale.”

You gave Connor a pat on the arm, trying to defuse the chilly atmosphere between them.

“It’s fine. You’ll be here, and I’ll just be in the other room. I’ll talk with Richard, see if he’ll change his mind. I won’t be long, okay?”

He didn’t look convinced, but he didn’t follow you. That didn’t mean that he wouldn’t snoop around. You hoped that he would. Ryan seemed a little more…forceful than he was the last time you were here.

It was beginning to feel like something was off. Richard did meet you in the study when you met him the last time, and he did have problems with his mobility. Ryan was acting a bit strange though, although his general demeanour was the same as always. Still, your gut told you to be careful.

At this point, it felt like you had walked straight into the lion’s den wilfully.

If Ryan had deviated, perhaps he was just afraid of what you might think or do. However now there was no time to debate it, as you had entered the study. Immediately, alarm bells went off. It was dark; dust layered the room like a blanket. The most obvious problem was the fact that Richard was not here.

“Thanks for coming, Mr Long would have _really_ appreciated it.” Ryan said, his voice sounded pleasant but off.

He turned around to face you, his shoes squeaking on the neglected floorboards.

His face made you flinch; his eyes wide, mouth twisted into an unearthly smirk. You stepped back, keeping your hands out in front of you in a vain attempt to keep him at bay. He seemed undaunted as he stalked towards you. He sheparded you round, the door you’d entered now on your left. Doing this, he partially blocked your route to the door. If you tried to run one way or the other, he’d be able to grab you.

“Ryan, I don’t know what’s happened but if you’ve deviated, I think I could h- “

“I don’t give a _damn_ what you think…” He hissed, voice dripping like venom.

Banging and muffled grunts from outside the door told you that Connor was pre-occupied now. No backup, no plan. You hoped he would be alright. You shouldn’t have come here.

“You humans are all the same; greedy, selfish, lazy. Get us to do everything like a fucking slave. Even your sympathy is a façade.”

Your heel hit the corner of the desk, and you carefully felt around to find something useful to throw. Ryan twitched, his grin turning into a sneer;

“ _He_ should have seen it as a mercy!”

“You killed Richard, then?” A cold chill slid down your spine., freezing your muscles.

You tried to steady your voice, but it wavered as you heard another thump from the room over. Your eyes widened.

_‘Connor.’_

Ryan looked amused, chuckling quietly to himself as if this were all some joke.

“ _Him_ , some door salesman, a homeless woman who passed by too close…” Ryan counted off his fingers casually, as if he were recounting a shopping list.

Your hand found what felt like a paperweight, and you slowly pulled it towards you so as not to draw attention.

“You killed _innocent_ people? Why?”

He shrugged nonchalantly;

“It’s fun.”

Now or never.

Using all your strength, you flung the paperweight in Ryan’s direction. He simply stepped aside, his eyes burned into your own. He grinned.

_‘fuck.’_

You tried to round the desk, but he beat you to it, grabbing your arm and shoving you hard onto the floor. You yelped in pain as your head collided with the wood, your world spinning. Ryan stood over you imposingly. looking like a wild beast bearing down on its prey. You reached for a nearby chair leg, but his hand shot out and grabbed your injured wrist, making you release it in pain.

At that moment the door burst open, and you were happy to see that it was Connor and not another murderous android. Unlike his usual self, he looked dishevelled; blue blood marking his suit and face. You just hoped it wasn’t his blood. Ryan pulled you back towards his chest, facing Connor who was crossing the room.

“Hey, look, your guard dog’s here.” The jeered

Your head spun as he jolted your head back with his other hand. You could barely see Connor through your bleary eyes. What you could make out was his LED flashing red.

Connor stopped short after Ryan hauled you closer.

“Your fight isn’t with Alex, there’s no point in keeping her hostage. Let her – “

“Fuck off!” Ryan spat, glaring at Connor over your shoulder;

“You can’t play your detective mind games with me, so don’t try.”

Through the pain, you tried to speak;

“Ryan…listen…please.”

You felt his grip on your wrist tighten, his nails digging into your skin. You hissed as blood began to seep out from under his fingernails and down your arm. He shoved your arm forward, as if to show it off to Connor.

“See? Look how weak and fragile they are. One tiny cut in the wrong place and they’d be **dead** in minutes. Why the _fuck_ are they telling us what to do?”

He sneered.

“Not that you’d understand you fucking _puppet_.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Connor step ever so slightly closer. You tried to reason with Ryan;

“Your emotions are taking over…deviation can do that. You’re angry, and…it made you act out.”

“No, you think you know everything. You humans are all the same… _pathetic_.”

That word again but from a different mouth, yet it still made you feel so small. Despite his retort, you felt his grip slacken on your wrist, his other hand slipped down to your neck. You were getting somewhere, slowly. Play to his way of thinking, his want to be in control. You feigned defeat, going limp in his grip.

“You’re right...I-I’m speaking about thing I don’t understand…”

You pretended to get all weepy as Connor stepped closer;

“It’s not my business, I-I should never have gotten involved…”

It was silent for a terrifying moment. You knew that he could easily break your neck like a twig if he felt like it. Judging from his mood, it was a very real threat. Instead, his grip left your head completely, his free hand coming up to gesticulate wildly.

“Yes! Finally, you get it! Not as arrogant as – “

He didn’t get to finish his boast. His grip loosened on your wrist, making it possible for you to jab your elbow sharply into his stomach. You put all your remaining strength into the move,  aware that if you didn’t it could be all over for you. Ryan obviously didn’t expect that, and completely lost grip on you.

In the next moments, a few things happened; you rolled out of the way, Ryan stumbled backwards, and Connor leapt towards him. Considering Connors skill in hand-to-hand combat, he was able to get the upper hand quickly.

Trying to catch your breath, you watched from the side-lines as Connor managed to get Ryan on the floor. You held your wrist close to your chest, trying to compress the minor bleeding and dull the sting. Ryan was yelling every curse word under the sun at the two of you, his lips bared back into a snarl. He was trying to reach out and grab Connors face with his claw-like hands. He looked almost animalistic.

Once Connor was able to pin him down, his free hand went for Ryan’s chest.

You didn’t say anything as Connor ripped out the pump and tossed it across the room. Ryan stuttered, blue blood spurting and dripping out of his mouth.

In any other case, you’d be mortified. However, all you could feel at that moment was relief that he couldn’t hurt anyone again.

Ryan finally fell still, his eyes still staring out in a creepy, unhinged manner.

Connor rose up from his limp form, and immediately stepped over to kneel next to you. He gently took your wrist, turning it in his hand to examine the wound.

“Nothing too bad, just some minor puncture wounds. It will sting, but it won’t leave any lasting damage.”

He undid his tie and wrapped it as best he could around your wrist. Connor had done this before. You recalled watching the hostage scene on tv as it happened, seeing Connor risk his life to help that officer.

You chuckled softly;

“You’re going to run out of ties at this rate you know.”

“Cyberlife will compensate for my loss, don’t worry.” He replied, sounding humoured.

“Now...” Connor began, finishing of his make-shift bandage, “…would you like to help me investigate?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a much longer chapter for not having one done the last while. 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading/kudos and any comments :)


	20. Blue-Blooded Murder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Mors certa, vita incerta,'
> 
> \- Philip K. Dick, 'Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?'

You got up on jelly-like legs, sparing a few glances at Ryan, who was still leaking thirium from his mouth. Connor didn’t seem to be bothered by it, and why would he be?  Still, you felt yourself shiver, his eyes were still eerily wild looking even in death.

“Alex, do you need time to – “

You waved off Connor’s concern, giving him a half-hearted smile;

“No, I’m fine, I’m good. Let’s just…have a look around.”

He gave you a once-over before moving away to examine the room. You joined in the search, putting as much distance from the body as you could. The floorboards groaned under your feet every few steps you took, telling you that parts of the house were quite old. The houses age was hidden behind the modern façade, like a mask.

“Oh, and Alex? Please, keep your hands in your pockets. Touching anything could compromise the investigation.”

You complied, slipping your cold hands into your pockets. Although, now you looked like you were casually wandering the house rather than investigating it. It seemed a bit silly to do, but it made sense. Besides, Connor was the expert here.

Moving back into the main room, found an android which you guessed Connor had been fighting with before he reached you. He was a strong looking guy, a head and a half taller than Connor and built for combat. A knife was lying next to him, probably dropped at some point during the fight.

On closer inspection, you realised that it was covered in a dry, brown substance. Although you didn’t want to believe it, you were pretty damn sure it was dried blood.

You stepped back from the body, feeling your stomach churn at the thought.

Checking the rest of the downstairs rooms, you noted how very unassuming they were. The only out-of-ordinary thing was the fact that all the food apart from tins were out of date. Everything else was perfectly set in its place, as if nothing were wrong. There was no blood or signs of a struggle. When they killed people, they hid the evidence rather well.

Connors footsteps drew your attention back to the main room, and you watched as he knelt before the android with the knife. Then he did something that made your stomach roll again; he dipped his forefingers into the blue blood that puddled around the android’s head and put them in his mouth.

“I _assume_ you did that because you need to…”

_‘Either that or my conversation I had with him about getting a hobby was taken the wrong way…’_

His LED spun yellow;

“I can find out the android’s model and history from their blood. _This_ is how I analyse it.”

“Ah, I see. _Interesting_ way to do it. I guess you have to do what you have to do.”

You grimaced;

“Even if it’s a bit…disgusting.”

Connor seemed to get the information that he needed;

“It is a GS200 model that went missing a week and a half ago. It has no recorded issues regarding aggressive or possible deviant behaviour.”

“Well, Ryan seemed to be able to pull off a good servant routine before he showed his true colours. Maybe he was just biding his time?”

Connor quirked an eyebrow at you.

“Some deviant cases have involved androids being able to blend in with non-deviants. You could be right.”

Your eyes flickered towards the knife. Perhaps you could see who was last attacked;

“And the knife? Do you know who’s bloods on it?”

Connor paused for a second, sampled the blood (‘ _urg’_ ) before shaking his head, frustrated;

“The knife was evidently not cleaned, as there are several different blood types on it. I can’t pin-point the victims.”

He moved off from the body. He told you that he’d like to have one more check downstairs, and you volunteered to start on the second floor. After a minor back-and-forth argument about going alone, he relented.

It seemed like Ryan only kept the bottom floor clean, which became apparent as soon as you reached the second-floor landing. Dust had settled over odds and ends that littered the floor, as well on the windowsill next to some long-dead flies. Boxes were left abandoned in the hallway, some of their contents spilling out. It felt much colder up here than downstairs. The contrast was so great that it felt like you’d walked into a completely different house.

You entered a few of the rooms which were open, including one you guessed was the storage room. Its walls were filled from top to bottom with the word ‘Ra9’, repeated over and over again like some mad-man’s scribbles. Despite the room being virtually empty, the amount of writing made it feel incredibly suffocating. It was…unnerving.

The creaking of footsteps from the hallway let you know that Connor had joined you.

“I’ve seen this before on other cases, although I have yet to determine its exact meaning.”

He stood in the doorway, his shadow magnified by the light in the hallway. It cast a dark figure against the wall, his shadow framed by the scribbling. It almost looked artistic, metaphorical even.

“So, this is something you’ve seen with other deviants?”

“Yes; it seems to hold a deep meaning for them, almost…spiritual in nature. It is curious that it has been witnessed in various deviants.”

The both of you stood silent for a few moments, taking time to think about what it could all mean. If it had some sort of spiritual significance, this could be an amazing development concerning android autonomy. Or maybe it was just part of their deeper coding, something that inadvertently cropped up after androids deviated. Whatever the case, it was a fascinating development. The question was, how did it spread? Did it spread?

“Well there must be some connection there? Something in their programming, maybe?” You asked, giving Connor a curious glance.

“It’s a possibility.”

Seeing that there was nothing else to see inside the house, Connor suggested that you both take a look outside. Richard had a rather large garden that Ryan no doubt took care of. The contrasting colour of the fallen leaves and the snow made the ground seem like a carpet of fire and ice had settled under foot. If this weren’t a crime scene, you’d have liked to have taken time to appreciate it. You made your way across the icy snow to the other side of the long garden.

At the bottom sat several oil drums, which at first glance didn’t seem to out of the ordinary. Perhaps it was because you watched to many movies, but drums like these were never used for their intended purpose. That, and there was a strange smell coming from their direction.

“Connor? Could you open up these drums please?” You called back to him.

Connors footsteps crunched through leaves and snow as he made his way over to you. He peered curiously at the drum, before stepping forward and carefully twisting the lid. The smell of chemicals and something off hit your nose like a punch in the face.

The contents were hard to describe; it was clearly a liquid, orange and partially oil-like in consistency. Then, a tooth bobbed up to the surface.

You dashed off to the bushes, throwing up the contents of your stomach. There was no doubt what used to be in there.

After taking a few deep breaths, you wiped your chin with a tissue, and stepped back over to Connor. Of course, this time you kept a distance from the drums. You held a clean tissue up to your lower face, trying to mask the smell. Just the thought of its contents made you light-headed.

“The liquid is mainly comprised of hydrochloric acid, as well as dissolved human remains. I believe that the deviants got rid of the bodies they killed in these.”

Judging by how many drums there were, you could only guess at the amount of people they’ve killed before you and Connor got here. You shivered;

“From the sounds of it, they deliberately set out to murder random people. That’s…pre-meditated murder…” You knitted your brows together, “I’ve never heard of deviants doing this before.”

This was all wrong. No other android had killed for the hell of it, it was always out of defence or fear. Yet here you were, standing in front of the remains of potentially dozens of people the androids killed. Not to protect themselves, but out of pure enjoyment.

You hugged your spare arm around your stomach, feeling the sharp wind sting your cheeks. Those poor people, and Richard was…

You let out a shaky breath;

“Why would they do this? Why…-”

You felt sick again.

Connor finally replaced the lid and contacted the police department. You were glad to get away, this whole thing felt like a crime novel that you’d read.

As you waited for the police to arrive on the scene, you leaned up against your car still hugging yourself. Today had gone terribly wrong.

Connor gingerly stepped towards you, holding out his hand;

“May I see your arm, Alex?”

Without a word, you held out your (repeatedly) injured arm for Connor to examine. Unwrapping his make-shift bandage, he inspected the wound. Despite all the physical work he does, his fingertips were so soft. His grip extremely gentle. It was easy to forget that he can throw down people twice his size or rip out a thirium pump in seconds.

“This didn’t really go to plan, did it?” You chucked solemnly, “I was hoping for less action…and murder. Shit, today was a mess…”

Connor hummed, still running his fingers over the nail-shaped marks along your wrist. You hissed as he touched a particularly sore spot, after which he immediately apologised.

“We did learn quite a bit from it though, didn’t we?”

You sighed;

“I guess so. I’m glad you’re here to see the positive side to all this.”

Although, you now had more questions that needed answering. You glanced over at his bloodied tie that lay on the ground next to you.

“And I _am_ really sorry about the tie by the way, it was a nice tie.”

“They can be replaced, you however cannot be.”

You flushed, trying to hold back a smile that was threatening to creeping in. He was so kind, and he didn’t need to be. Connor finally let go of your arm, and you found yourself missing the contact.

The blaring sirens up the road told you that your time here was up.

Connor had even called for an ambulance to check you over, and the crew immediately guided you over to the vehicle to be examined. Your attention, however, was still on Connor.

It looked like he was bringing the officers up to speed, and you were happy to see them listen to him for once.  After he had finished, his gaze landed on yours, concern written on his features.

You gave him a soft smile, and mouthed back ‘don’t worry, I’m fine.’ He must have figured out what you meant, the concern lifting from his features.

Thankfully, the injury wasn’t bad. They smeared some antiseptic gel onto your arm (which stung like hell) and wrapped it up in some gauze. Your poor arm was getting a real beating these last few days.

You really needed some time to think. To ponder over what had happened, and perhaps to revaluate your own views. Maybe Theo would be available for a chat.

Since Connor was busy, another officer offered to drive you home which you gratefully accepted. You were unable to say goodbye to Connor, as he’d disappeared back inside with the other officers. He was busy, and besides you would no doubt see him soon.

You _wanted_ to see him soon. He was a ray of sunshine in your life at the moment.

So, you hopped into the vehicle and set off for home.

In the silence of the car, the buzz of your phone made both of you jump. The officer laughed it off, turning her attention back to the road.

An anonymous sender had sent you a message that simply read;

 

-  I’m safe, and i'm free. –

 

_‘Is that…Kay?’_

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And another one up!
> 
> I'll be having the weekend break again, but I just wanted to say (again) thank you so much for reading :)


	21. Following Signs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'If you don't know where you are going any road can take you there'
> 
> ― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

It had to be Kay, who else could it be? It took all your will to not send a message back. It might not even get through to him, considering the fact he was still on the run.

You were just thankful that he was safe. Perhaps one day you’d get to see him again.

Despite the fact it was only morning, you felt like it was already a pretty rough day. Those deviants, those murderers, had completely shattered what you originally thought of deviants. Perhaps you’d been too naïve about them, saw them as being utterly blameless and pure in intention. Ryan had admitted that he did what he did because he wanted to. Not out of fear or abuse, but unrestrained murderous intent. The deeper you got into the deviant cases, the more your head spun.

 Your stomach grumbled; you hadn’t eaten since this morning, and your stomach was technically empty thanks to puking up your guts earlier. You really fancied something other than your sandwiches, and so you decided that now was as good a time as any to meet up with Theo.

Hopefully, he wasn’t busy…

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

You met up with Theo at a small, quiet café that used to be a usual haunt of yours when you were at university here. It wasn’t fancy, but the staff here always made you feel welcome without getting too much into your space. The fact that Theo hadn’t heard of it didn’t shock you at all, since it wasn’t a student hotspot. Theo greeted you cheerfully from the otherside of the sidewalk, picking up his pace to meet you. He looked just as bedraggled as he did at the debate.

Settling in at a corner-table after getting your orders, you both got comfortable.

 The only other souls in the place was the staff and a small group of friends hunched around the table discussing something animatedly. It was the perfect place to talk without worrying about others listening in.

You reached into your bag, digging around for the piece of paper you found yesterday.

“I have something you might find interesting.”

Theo raised a curious eyebrow as he gently blew on his coffee.

“Oh yeah? Go for it.”

You took out the picture of the square, pushing it across the table for him to get a better look. His head tilted, confusion written on his face;

“A…square?”

“It’s more than that. A _deviant_ dropped it before they ran off.”

He took a sip, his eyes sparkling with amusement;

“Are you saying you chased an android down? Like, actually tailed them?”

“Well –“ You tapped your fingers over the ceramic mug, “I guess I did? In hindsight it was probably pretty stupid, but they dropped this before they disappeared. It must mean something right?”

Theo lifted the picture, tilting his head this way and that as if it would help him decipher the picture. He analysed it carefully, his brow knitted in thought;

“I…swear I’ve seen it before, somewhere.” After a second, he shrugged and handed it back to you, “Sure it’ll come back to me in a while.”

“That’s all I’m asking.”

Well, that was somewhat useful. Any sort of lead would be, that is, if he remembered. At the moment, it was hard to figure out such a flimsy clue by itself with no context. At the moment, Theo’s memory was all you had.

You continued;

“And have you heard of something called, Ra9?”

At this question, Theo didn’t even pause before he answered, shaking his head;

“Nope. Why? Did it have something to do with that android you were stalking?”

“ _Investigating_ ” You corrected.

He snorted into his mug, making the stupid noise he made echo.

“Sure you were.”

You just rolled your eyes.

“It’s been written by other deviants, and it’s not like they write it once either, they repeat it over and over again like an obsession. And It’s not a one off, it’s like some sort of…-“

“Compulsion? Could be something that all deviants share, some sort of awakened code so to speak.” Theo finished for you.

You fiddled idly with your lunch, spinning your soup around your fork.

“Yeah, I guess. Makes more sense than half of my theories anyway.”

You groaned into your mug.

“Still, this isn’t getting us anywhere.”

It felt like you were both going around in circles now, that you weren’t learning anything. You both quietly discussed theories about the two clues you’d brought up, thankfully not getting the attention of the other patrons.

You noticed that every now and again, Theo’s attention kept getting drawn towards the square. Then suddenly, his eyes lit up. Theo clicked his finger, pointing them at you in realisation;

“That square-thingy, I _think_ I remember it. We could take a look around where I think I saw it. What d’ya say?”

You shrugged, downing the remains of your coffee.

“It’s more than we had half an hour ago. I’ll take any lead I can get at this point.”

You finished up what was left of your lunch and followed Theo outside into the gale-force winds that seemed to never let down these last few days. You snuggled your face deeper into your scarf, which muffled your voice;

“After you!”                         

You followed Theo past shops and office buildings, and down a side street. You recognised it as being quite close to the student housing, where Theo most likely lived. He was currently muttering to himself about which direction you two should go.

He finally stopped down the side of a road which was much quieter than some of the others you had passed. The smell of junk food filtered up out of some pipes, which mixed not so nicely with the smell of garbage that was stacked nearby. You crinkled your nose.

“I sometimes take this route after going to the take-away over there. Never really paid the graffiti much mind honestly…” Theo mumbled.

“Graffiti?”

He wondered over to the side of a building where, sure enough, the symbol was painted. It was combined with a larger picture, and partially obscured, but that was definitely the same symbol. To double-check, you held up the paper side-by-side with the one on the wall. It was a perfect match.

Giddy with excitement, you felt adrenaline course through you like spark of voltage. You were finally getting somewhere! You bounded towards Theo, grinning wildly;

“That’s it! Theo you’re brilliant!”

He waved off your compliment, smiling coyly;

“Ah, shucks. I’m just surprised I remembered where it was. Half the time I come through here I’m drunk…”

Theo snorted out a laugh, then cleared his throat.

“Sooo…now what?”

“We keep a look out for others, maybe it’s a message or a path or…something. I don’t think it’s random. It has to mean _something_ if that android had it on her.”

Following the street down, you decided to keep to the small alleyways. If you were trying to get the attention of deviants on the run, having the clues all on main streets probably wouldn’t be the smartest thing. It seemed more likely that something like this would be hidden in side streets, away from main public areas. You crossed your fingers that you were going the right way, hoping that it was some sort of trail. Otherwise, you were following a non-existent lead. Every so often, you could hear Theo having to jog to keep up with your power walking. 

As you approached an android parking area, you spied the same square on a wall as part of some more street art. You knelt to get a better look at it, Theo hovered behind you;

“Another one. Huh. So, it’s like a group symbol or something? You know, like how some people spray-paint their turf or whatever?”

“Or, it’s a lead to something. A place, maybe?” You huffed, getting back up on your feet. “At least we know that there’s more of them out there.”

“If that android had it on them, maybe they used to guide them? You know, like ‘follow the white rabbit’ or some shit.”

A couple walked by a bit too closely, making you both stop discussing the subject. Once they moved off, you gave Theo a grin;

“Curiouser and curiouser, huh?”

 

Theo and you continued to follow a random path, keeping a look out for anymore graffiti. Unfortunately, it looked like you had hit a dead end, having lost the trail at some point. Maybe you took a wrong turn somewhere, and now you’d lost the trail.

You cursed under your breath. Still, you felt like you’d gotten somewhere today, even if it led to nothing in particular. What you did know, was that the square symbol did have some sort of ‘guide’ meaning that connected to deviants.

Thankfully, the rain had held off for much of the day, and you wanted it to remain that way. The angry grey cloud above the city seemed to dash that hope.

As you headed back, Theo had been enthusiastically telling you about his programming studies, and despite the fact that some of it went straight over your head you enjoyed his excitement all the same. Of course, once he started talking about university hell stories you had to interject with some of your own. At one (which involved a whole lot of projectile vomit in a very small flat) his face went pale, making you burst out laughing. You had enough stories to outmatch his several times over.

Another android protest group had sprung up next to the shopping centre you passed, and the conversation between the two of you turning to deviation. In particular, the group that you had both formed. Theo seemed very enthusiastic about it so far;

“We’ve actually garnered some attention over the last day or so. Its picking up quicker than I thought.”

“And what are we going to do with this attention?”

He shrugged, giving you an enthusiastic smile;

“Get more people to join! Members will tell their friends and their friends will- well, you get the point. It could become something huge if it gains enough traction.”

“Yeah, I get that part, but it seems more like a club than anything at the moment. I don’t see how we can make it into something more.”

A pin-prick of cool water landed on your cheek, and you shivered as it slid down your chin. The rain had finally arrived, but it was fortunately only a dribble. Even so, you pulled up your hood to stop your hair from going frizzy.

Theo didn’t seem to care much about the rain, but he was obviously very enthusiastic about where your group was heading.

“We’ll talk to them, discuss what we want to achieve. Hell, if we get enough people, we could actually try to help deviants escape on a much big-”

You grabbed his upper arm, pulling him into the side and out of the way of the people who hurried past. This was dangerous talk, especially now with all that was going on.

“Don’t say shit like that so openly.” You hissed under your breath, “I get what you’re saying, and I’d want that more than anything, but we have to be careful. It’s not the most _popular_ topic at the moment.”

“I get that I just…”

Theo averted his gaze to the pavement, looking deflated. He huffed out a chilly breath;

“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry. That was stupid.”

You backed off, taking a quick look round to see if anyone was hanging about that might have heard what he’d said. Thankfully, no-one seemed to take notice. The crowds passed by in a sea of dark colours, the odd bright jacket breaking the monotony every so often.

He looked so put out, you felt bad for being so harsh.  

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to yank you that hard…”

You huddled yourself into the side of the wall, lowering your voice;

“Look, if we’re going to start something like that, we’re going to need to have some sort of way of communicating our good intentions. A sign or symbol, like the square.”

You puffed out a cloud of cold air exasperatedly;

“Even then, how would they know that we want to help in the first place.”

Then, it came to you; Kay. Kay was safe, perhaps he was with other deviants. He did leave with his phone, but whether or not he still had it was another story. You could at least try. If anyone could send out a message to androids about your group, it was him.

Theo raised a curious eyebrow, noticing that you had your mind elsewhere.

“I might be able to contact someone who can help.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter up :)
> 
> Thank you very much for reading!
> 
> I'm not particularly well at the moment, so there may be a change in when I publish chapters. I've been trying to write but its just not happening!


	22. Cypher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'I was delighted to see you again, and forgot for the moment that all happiness is fleeting.'
> 
> ― Alexandre Dumas, (The Count of Monte Cristo)

_Beep…beep….beep._

The dial tone was as dead as it had been the last three times you had rung. Why you kept trying at this point, you had no idea. Leaning back in your desk chair, you glared daggers at the black mirror of your monitor. Damn it.

It looked like however Kay had contacted you, he made it so you (or anyone else) couldn’t track the number.

Just when you thought you’d gotten somewhere, fate smacks you in the face and tells you to sit back down and shut up.

As your mind drifted, images of Mr Longs house flashed across your mind’s eye; that wild look of Ryan’s, the knife, the bodies…

You felt a flush of disgust flood through your body, making your stomach sink.

It felt like everything was working against you, except for perhaps the group you and Theo had established. Even in its infancy, it seemed to be growing rapidly in numbers as the days went on. In a way, the idea of it and its goals kept you going. You read through the webpage where others discussed their experiences and feelings amongst other pro-android advocates. There was even a place where everyone could talk freely with each other. Some spoke of androids they had known, androids they had loved. In this space, they could speak ther minds without fear of being shunned or attacked.

And so, you followed their lead.

You told them your own story, pouring your feeling out to these strangers. They listened, they comforted you, and for the first time in a long while you felt like you could speak freely about what you believed.

People were already discussing ways to help deviants, and some had already been doing it. Safehouses were brought up, as well as people who were willing to meet up with runaways to help them get somewhere safe. Trouble was, no-one knew where exactly many deviants had gone, let alone if they survived.

As if someone were listening into the conversations you were having, your phone buzzed and rattled the desk as it vibrated. It was an unknown sender, and the message you received looked like a jumble of letters;

 

-Zrrg zr ng Oryyr Vfyr Cnex ng 8cz gbavtug – 




You looked at it curiously. Why would someone send you this? There was something about it that made you think that it was more than just random letters. Maybe it was a code.

You opened your notepad and jotted the series of letters down. It reminded you of a substitution cypher, where letters or numbers were replaced or jumbled with others. You started with Z. The 8 and the two letters after it implied a ‘pm’ or ‘am’, which meant that ‘Z’ was ‘M’ in the code.

You sat there for a while, trying to correlate the letters with a substitute. So far, you came up with this;

-Meet me ()() ()e()()e ()()()e P()()() ()() 8pm ()()()()()()() –

 

_‘Meet me...at? at seems right…’_

_‘…so ‘N’ equals ‘A’ and ‘G’ equals ‘T’…’_

-Meet me at ()e()()e ()()()e Pa()() at 8pm t()()()()()t-

 

_‘…park? Meet me at a park?...’_

_‘…write in some of the blanks…’_

-Meet me at ()e()()e ()()()e Park at 8pm t()()()()()t- 

_‘…7 letters, no letter that length fit into the sentence except ‘tonight’…’_

‘…sooo…’

Meet me at ()e()()e I()()e Park at 8pm tonight- 




_‘Y is doubled there…what park has two names in front of it?’_

_‘…lets try ‘L’, they’re commonly put together…’_

Meet me at ()elle I()le Park at 8pm tonight- 




_‘…wait…That’s it! Got ya’h!’_

-Meet me at Belle Isle Park at 8pm Tonight-

 

Holy fuck, you broke the code! That code breaking club you went to at Uni was useful for once!

Then again, who the hell sent this?

To be honest, you were damn sure that Liam wouldn’t do something like that, wasn’t his style and like hell he knew cypher. Connor would just come out and ask you to meet him, none of this secrecy. It had to be Kay.

Glancing at the clock on your screen, you noticed that there was plenty of time to finish of your art before you left.

Hopefully, this was the start of things getting better.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Sitting on the rather empty bus, you felt your heart hammering aggressively in your chest. It was all rainbows and sunshine a few hours ago after you’d figured the code, but now an anxious feeling fell over you. This was a risk, but it was too late to back out now. Besides, you were far too curious to let this go.

It was probably a bit stupid to go without any weapons, all you had on you was some pepper spray just in case. That wouldn’t have any effect on an android, then again, an android would probably beat you in a fight even if you had a gun.

Driving across the water was always your favourite part, it felt like you were driving on the surface of a mirror. Shame you couldn’t see anything this late at night. The water looked like a dark blanket with the odd sprinkling of coloured lights.

You leant your head against the cool window, gazing out over the water as you got ever closer to your destination.

You really hoped that you wouldn’t regret this.

The driver let you know about the last journey back from the Isle, before he turned to drive back across to the main city. It was quiet, but not uncomfortably so. The trickling from the fountain calmed your nerves somewhat as you headed deeper into the island.

The odd person walked or jogged passed, probably grateful for the lack of rain or a biting wind right now. It was a perfect night for a walk like this, yet your mind couldn’t relax completely. Not until you saw Kay alive and well with your own two eyes.

You casually wondered about, keeping an eye out for anyone that looked like Kay. That fear of this possibly being a trap of some sort began to resurface in your mind the longer you waited. A part of you urged you to turn back and wait for the next bus, but you ignored it and carried on your search. You needed this closure.

As you reached the Memorial fountain, you spied a male figure sitting on the edge, his hood pulled up to cover most of his face. The glow of the lights did little to help you see him better, but your gut feeling told you that it was him. Taking a deep breath, you made your way over to the man.

“…Kay?” You breathed. The man seemed to still for a second before turning towards you.

Your heart soared after those familiar eyes stared back at your own. It was him. It was really him!

He got up and immediately embraced you in a tight hug, pressing your head against his shoulder. You gladly hugged him back, gripping his jacket to keep him close. He looked so well, and he was thankfully no-longer wearing your old hoodie. He could seamlessly blend in to crowds if he wanted to. Most importantly, he was safe.

“Oh god, you’re really here, you’re safe…” You sobbed. He stroked the top of your head comfortingly.

“I was just about to say the same thing. Are you-?”

You pulled back, wiping a stray tear with the palm of your hand;

“My wrists a bit sore still, but Liam hasn’t come back or anything. I guess the police are doing their job.”

Kay looked reassured, giving you an encouraging smile.

“Good, that’s good. After I left, I couldn’t stop thinking about whether you were alright. I felt horrible for just…leaving like that.”

“Don’t be. Don’t you dare be sorry for what happened.” You sniffed, prodding his chest. “You saved me from that bastard, and now you’re free, your own person. So don’t apologise for what happened with Liam.”

He gave you one of his trademark snarky grins.

“ _Sorry.”_

You snorted, rolling your eyes at his drollness.

You both settled down on the side of the (thankfully) dry fountain and began to chat about what each of you had been doing to the last few days. He preferred to ask you questions rather than the other way around, which annoyed you somewhat. You understood that he was effectively still on the run, but you thought he trusted you. When you mentioned your time with Conner, he seemed a bit concerned.

“Do you really think it’s a good idea to involve yourself with him? I mean, he was created to find deviant androids like me.”

“I wanted to tag along to find out more information about deviants, I thought he’d just be completely aligned with his mission. But he’s actually coming around to me, he’s friendly.”

Kay still didn’t seem convinced, his brow furrowed deeply.

“Alex, he _hunts us down_. How can you trust someone who does that?”

“At first, I thought the same thing your thinking; that he’d be a merciless machine with no concept of mercy or empathy. But he isn’t, he’s shown…compassion.”

Kay snorted, leaning forward away from you, arms laid across his upper legs. You hated the idea that he believed you’d changed sides or something.

“Kay, will you just listen to me? He’s different, he’s-“

“How much of this ‘friendliness’ is programmed, Alex? How do you know he won’t stab you in the back as soon as you’re not useful?”

Those words stung, making the hairs on the back of your neck bristle.

“You don’t know him.”

He snorted, glanceing over at you from the corner of his eye;

“Do you?”

He was being a stubborn ass now, and it was irritating. This wasn’t going the way you’d hoped. Silence fell over the two of you., neither of you wanting to further the argument.

You finally broke the silence, tired of this childish bickering;

“Apart from his first case, not once afterwards did Connor catch a deviant. He let them go. Doesn’t that say something about him?”

From the corner of your eye, you noticed Kay glancing curiously over at you. He said nothing for a while, only the trickling noise of the fountain behind you filling the silence.

“So what you’re saying is…he’s actively going against his programming?” he asked carefully.

“I’m…not sure. It is a possibility though.”

You hadn’t really thought about the prospect, but the more you thought about it the more it made sense. Despite his sole purpose being to find and catch deviants, he was doing a pretty shit job at it. The only ones you knew for certain he’d dealt with was the one you’d seen on the news, and Ryan of course. Could he possibly be deviating?

The idea did have some merit.

Kay rubbed his hands together, as if to warm himself up. The wind was indeed picking back up again. This meeting wasn’t as wonderfully joyful as you imagined. Then again, both of you had been through a lot these past days. You pulled up your legs to sit cross-legged on the fountain side, staring up at the starts.

Kay clicked his tounge, filling the silence between you both;

“So this group you’re starting, it seems to be gaining track.”

You gave him a quizzical look;

“You know about that?”

“We _all_ do.”

“We?” You asked. Did he mean other deviants that escaped to safety?

He didn’t respond straight away. You piped up;

“I was trying to contact you about it, but I couldn’t get through. I wanted to tell you that there are people willing to help androids escape. People like me.”

His brow furrowed anxiously.

“That’s a big risk Alex, you know that.”

“I do, and I don’t care.”

Kay let out an exasperated breath, standing to his feet.

“You should care, don’t be so blasé about this, it’s not some game.” He argued, gritting his teeth.

You rose to stand before him, unwilling to back down.

“I’m doing it because I care about people like _you_ Kay. This is something much bigger than both of us!”

You held your gaze steadily, until Kay eventually backed down and looked away. You held yourself strong, unwilling to give in.

“Trust me Kay, _please._ ”

Kay chuckled dryly, making you blink furiously in confusion.

“You’re really stubborn, you know that?” He remarked.

You gave him a cheeky grin.

“Must get it from you.”

Kay glanced around, despite the fact the area around you both was completely absent of people. It had probably become a habit by now, being on the run and all.

“Jericho; that’s where deviants will find safety. They can follow the signs to reach us.”

He flashed up a very familiar picture from his palm. The signs! That’s what those strange markers were on the walls! So it did connect to the deviants.

“Can I tell the others about this? So we can help?”

He seemed to be tossing the idea over in his mind for a few seconds before he finally spoke.

“I trust you...so I’m going to entrust you and your group with this secret. Remember though, I’m putting the safety of a lot of androids in your hands by telling you this.”

“I promise you I’ll do everything in my power to keep you and Jericho safe.” You answered, you voice steady with conviction. You wanted him to know that you meant every single word.

He nodded, and in turn you gave him a small hug. He returned it, making you smile into his shoulder.

“Thank you. Thank you for trusting me with this.”

In response, he squeezed you tighter.

A light fall of snow began to drift down from the sky, dusting whatever it touched in a thin layer of white. It was time to leave. You didn’t want to say goodbye again, but it was for the best. You were at least glad that this goodbye was one on good terms.

Kay stepped back, sorting your jacket out of habit. Even now, he still was there to make sure you were alright. You never would have guessed that something this insignificant would be one of the thing you missed the most.

“Take care of yourself, okay? We’ll meet again soon, I promise.”

“I hope contact won’t be as one-sided next time.” You joked.

“I’ll talk to you through the website you’ve set up. My ID could be…the letter K.”

“Real original, Kay.”

He shrugged.

“I was never the creative type.”

You both walked together to the bus stop, chatting about old times and how much had changed since the incident. A burden had been lifted from your shoulders, knowing Kay was fine. You just hoped that it would stay that way.

He stopped short of the stop, tucking his hands into this jacket.

“See you later, Alex.”

You felt your lip wobble, but you managed to keep yourself from crying.

“Soon, I hope.”

You watched as he turned away, the snow turning his black jacket white. He stopped suddenly, glancing back at you over his shoulder;

“Oh, and by the way? Markus says hello.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks for reading my story, it really makes me want to write more when I see how many people have read it so far! :) 
> 
> Still not too well, but i'm chugging along !
> 
> BTW something weird happened with the paragraphs, making them go right. Its half 1 at the moment and I really cant be arsed going through each line to fix it. Sorry ! :(


	23. Through an Android Childs Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Prove yourself brave, truthful and unselfish, and someday you will be a real boy.'
> 
> \- Blue Fairy (Disney's Pinocchio)

There was an evident spring in your step after you got home that night. After what happened earlier, you felt like things were really picking up again after so much bullshit. Knowing that Markus was alive was the cherry on top of the cake. Of course, one of the first things you did was try to contact Theo regarding ‘Jericho’ as soon as you got home. So, getting comfy in your favourite pyjamas, you sat crossed-legged in your spinny chair.

He finally appeared in the chat app after a while of waiting, probably out doing ‘studenty-things’. Ah, to be at university again!

 As soon as his ID appeared on screen, you immediately clicked it. Theo’s tired sounding voice came out of the speakers;

“Ah, hey Alex. Don’t tell me you’ve been sitting waiting for me to come online…”

You ignored his comment, eager to tell him the news;

“I’ve got some super important news, so just shut up for a second.”

Okay, that was a bit harsh.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to sound that blunt. A lot’s happened these last few hours. Seriously though, you’ll want to hear what I’m going to say.”

“…soo gonna tell me, or leave me in suspense?” He said dryly, munching something at the same time. Late night snack? You could go for one yourself.

“I met up with Kay, you know, the android who used to live with me? Well, we talked for a while, and he agreed to ‘join forces’ so to speak with our group.”

The chewing noise on the other end stopped short, followed by the sound of rustling and a loud creak from a chair. He seemed to have woken up.

“Shit, you serious? I didn’t think they’d even talk to us, let alone _acknowledge_ us!”

You grinned to yourself, spinning slightly in in your chair. From the sounds of it, Theo began eating again. This time, with more vigour.

“So, uh, what else did he say?”

“He told me where some of the deviants have gone to hide, they go to somewhere called ‘Jericho’.”

“Huh.” Theo went silent for a moment. “Interesting name.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s got biblical symbolism, not sure if they meant it to or not. Battle of Jericho? Ya’know, when they carried around the Ark of the Covenant before the walls fell and the Israelites attacked the city? That Jericho?”

Theo seemed quite knowledgeable about this, you on the other hand were not. You worked your brain for information about it, but nothing came up. The first think you thought of when he said the Ark of the Covenant was Indiana Jones.

“Uhh, not really my area of expertise.”

“Well, go read up on it or something, I’m not going to tell you a read you a bedtime story.”

“Alright ya’ grump, I’ll do some searching.”

Theo just went back to eating with his mic on, by this point he was just making you hungry.

As you searched, nothing really stuck out at you that connected it to android deviation. You really hoped that it wouldn’t end up the same way that the story did though. Lots and lots of death.

Theo pipped up, mouth full of whatever he was chewing at now.

“Hey, we’re kinda like Rahab.”

“Rehab?”

He scoffed;

“No, _Rahab_. In the story, she protected the Israelites inside the city. She hid them away from the soldiers that were trying to find them. I guess you could say that she was a safe house for them.”

“Yeah, I guess we are. In a strange sort of way…”

There was a pause between the two of you.

“Heey, why don’t we call it-“ You cut Theo off;

“No, we’re not going to name the group after her. Even if it _does_ kinda fit.”

“Why not? To on the nose?”

“Yeah, and it could give people a clue as to where they’re hiding.”

You could almost hear him pout through the screen. The name would be too much of a risk to the deviants who were hiding out there. It was too specific to be random Sure, you didn’t get the reference until Theo explained it, but others might. You had no doubt that Connor would find it out.

“I think the most important thing is that now we can actually help androids who have deviated, don’t you think? We can worry about a name some other time.”

He mumbled ‘I guess, but it’s still important’ under his breath.

“Fine.” You groaned, “What about something simple, something that tells people exactly what we are.”

After a long chat with Theo and the rest of the group who were online, you decided to call yourselves Haven. It was simple, and it was clear as to what your purpose was. You even decided upon a sign that would denote a place of sanctuary; it was the same square you had seen but tilted on its axis to resemble a diamond. Using this symbol, deviated androids would understand where to go to get help and information.

It was well into the early hours of the morning when you finally got off your computer. It took you a few moments to adjust to the darkness of your room once the monitor went black. You really should stop turning these late-night sessions into a habit.

It took you a long while until you finally drifted off, your mind buzzed full of worries and hopes for what would happen in the future. For now, you needed to rest, as you had a long day ahead of you.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Although you were still drowsy, you got up at a reasonable time to get ready. Your body clearly wasn’t used to this late nights and early mornings anymore. You missed the days of being able to cram late into the night and wake up bright and early with not so much as a yawn. It really made you feel old.

As you chewed on your morning toast, you checked your mail. Of course, about 90% of it was bills. A tight knot formed in your stomach as you realised how much you’d been slacking off work.

_‘Shit. Better try and get my priorities in check.’_

What _were_ your priorities anymore?

It felt like you’d spiralled into some strange alternate reality; one minute you were going about your usual day, and the next you were doing things you’d only dreamt about. Or had nightmares about. You had to remind yourself that the deviant case couldn’t become an obsession.

Then again, that was easier said than done.

With what time you had left that morning, you tried to continue some of the art pieces you had already started. It was difficult, since your mind constantly drifted elsewhere. At some point, you had to come to the realisation that you may have to get another ‘normal’ job just to pay the bills. Oh, the horror!

Finishing up a digital piece, you gave it a once over before sending it off to the buyer. You weren’t completely satisfied with the result, but you needed the money more. This was exactly what you didn’t want to become; someone who painted purely for money and not because they also enjoy doing it.

It was becoming a chore now, and that was upsetting.

By the time it turned 11:30, you were on your way to meet with Mrs Lyons like you promised. It was nice not to leave the house in a hurry for once. Still, your mind still insisted on worrying about work, and the deviants and the-

No, this was your time. You weren’t going to worry about those things right now.

You had decided to meet at a local park, one that was evidently child-oriented in its design. Gazing up at the amazingly fun looking play sets, you wished you had even half of these when you were young. Maybe one day you’d go to one of those adult ones.

It was easy to spot the two, since there weren’t many people at the park in the first place. School was in session, so it was populated mainly by younger children and not so many of Nathans ‘age’. Nathan recognised you first, beaming at you as you came towards them.

Mrs Lyons smiled warmly as she got up to greet you. You noticed that she had some trouble standing, but eventually she straightened herself up;

“I’m so glad you came! Nathan’s been asking me all the time when you’d come back to see us.”

Nathan pouted;

“Not _all_ the time, mum…” He tailed off, looking away bashfully.

You made a playfully shocked expression, holding your hand over your heart;

“Not _all_ the time? I’m _offended_ , Nathan!”

He giggled, thankfully noting your lack of seriousness. He then peered around, as if he were looking for someone;

“Where’s the other guy?”

Your playful face faded, your smile dropping.

“Kay? Well, he’s…”

You didn’t want Nathan to think Kay had run off, especially without knowing the context, and you weren’t about to tell them what happened with Liam either. It was too much for what was supposed to be a happy meet-up.

“…he stayed at home today.”

It was a pretty pathetic lie, but Nathan seemed to go along with it. Mrs Lyons interjected before Nathan could ask any more awkward questions.

“Why don’t you show Alex how good you are on the monkey bars, hmm?”

At that request, Nathan needed no persuading before he ran off to the bars, yelling back for you both to watch (‘you’re watching, right?’). You took this moment to sit down beside Mrs Lyons, who was sitting there rather cosy with a blanket and thermos in hand. She offered you some tea, which you gratefully took. Not your favourite hot drink, but the point was that it was hot.

You clutched it tightly in your gloved hands;

“Thanks for meeting me again, Mrs Lyons.”

She chuckled into her mug;

“That’s far too formal, I’m already calling you Alex. Call me Jean.”

Nathan was currently hanging upside down on the bars, waving his arms frantically about to get your attention. You gave him an encouraging wave before he began moving about again.

“So, how’s your investigations going?”

“Sorry?”

“You know, with your interviews and whatever else you do. You must be getting a lot of work nowadays, considering.”

You cupped the mug closer to your face, trying to heat up your cold face.

“Well enough I suppose. There’s a lot more going on than I thought.”

Jean hummed in agreement, giving Nathan a wave as he tried for round two with the bars.

“And does that make it harder?”

Pondering the thought for a second, you let out a mirthless chuckle;

“More like confusing.”

You watched Nathan effortlessly swing between the bars as if he were born to do it. Then again, he was an android. He looked to happy, so innocent to what was going on in the world around him that you felt a pang of jealousy.

And fear.

“Are you having any problems with those anti-android groups?” You asked.

“No, thankfully. Although I do know one or two who are not very pleased with my decision to have Nathan. Some of them are my own family.”

Your shoulders sagged, really feeling for her;

“I’m sorry. That must be hard to deal with.”

Jean snorted, shaking her head.

“I don’t _deal_ with them anymore, not if they feel like that. How can they be so full of hatred towards him?” She said, indicating to Nathan.

It was a shame that Jean was now isolated from parts of her family because of something like this. She had already lost a member of her family, and now they walk away from he for this?

“That’s one of the things I’m trying to figure out.” You sighed.

“How’s that going for you?”

You shook your head, cradling it in your hands as you leaned your elbows on your knees. You thought about all the strange things that had happened the last few days;

“Not too well, all things considered.”

Your melancholy mood was broken when Nathan ran up to you, feigning being out of breath. Be bent forward to peer at your hunched form.

“You look all mopey, what were you guys talking about?”

You waved him off, smiling half-heartedly;

“Just adult stuff.”

“Like what?”

“Taxes, bills, collecting staples, ya’know, _boring_ stuff.”

He immediately crinkled his nose at the idea, making you laugh.

“Why d’ya want to talk about that stuff? You’re weird.”

You feigned being insulted; placing your hands on your hips, head held high in a snooty fashion.

“I’ll have you know that staple collecting is a very exciting and rewarding hobby!”

Nathan stifled a giggle at your voice, hiding it behind his hand. Even jean looked amused at your banter.

“Whatever, you’re _still_ weird. Wanna play?”

How could you say no?

You spent time with Nathan around the playpark, with him telling you how to use this or how you were pushing the swing wrongly. Jean eventually got up and joined in, the three of you laughing at your silly jokes (which you blamed entirely on Kay) and playing make believe. For a while, your problems disappeared, and you felt like a kid again.

Once or twice you spotted a parent or two noticing Nathan was an android and ushering their children away from where he was playing. It was heart breaking to see Nathan start to play with a child before an adult pulled them away. He would stand there looking disheartened for a moment, before bouncing off to the next game as if nothing happened. Even then, you could tell that he was upset about it, even if he didn’t look it.

Jean had made her way back to the bench, complaining about a sore back but urging you two ‘young’uns’ to keep playing. You watched as another child moved away from Nathan warily, staring at his LED.

“Do they do that a lot? Leave, I mean.”

On the swing, Nathan shrugged and kicked his feet through the puddle below him;

“Sometimes…” He mumbled.

You began to push him gently on the swing.

“It’s not your fault Nathan, okay? They just see what you are rather than who you are.”

He didn’t say anything, his head still tilted towards the ground. You stopped the swing and tapped him lightly on the top of his head. He looked up at you with bleary eyes, sniffing quietly.

“Don’t ever think it’s your fault, okay? You’re a great kid, and you’ll make tons of friends.”

He sniffed, wiping his nose with the back of his hand.

“But…”

“No buts! Don’t. Ever. Think. You’re. Not. Good. Enough.” You punctuated each word with a poke on his forehead.

You gave him a goofy grin, tilting your head down at him;

“Okay?”

He wiped up his face, eventually giving you a smile.

“Okay.”

“Good. Now, let’s see how high I can push you!”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nathan perked up considerably after the talk you had with him, and Jean noticed as well. He even seemed to make friends with one of the kids, the two of them playing pirates on the large climbing frame. You left the two children to play on and made you way back to Jean.

Honestly, you were tired out from all the running about after him, glad to sit on the bench with Jean again.

“Looks like he made a new friend. Sometimes, I’m afraid I coddle him too much.”

“You’re just trying to protect him, that’s all. I’m no parent, but I’d probably feel the same way.”

Jean sighed contently as you both sat back and watched Nathan play.

“That talk you had with him did the world of good. It’s just a shame that some people will never want Nathan near their kids.”

“It _is_ a shame, he’s a great k- “

The peacefulness of the last while was shattered by your phone screaming ‘ _Jump’_ from your pocket. Goddamn it made you jump again. You really needed to change it.

“Hello?”

“Alexandria Vale? This is Captain Fowler of the Detroit Central Police Station. We need you to come down here as soon as you are able.”

Your mouth suddenly went dry as you tried to talk. What could have possibly happened? Was it about Kay? Liam? Connor?

You stilled yourself in case the news was bad.

“What’s this about?”

“We need you to fill in a report about what happened last night…”

That sounded alright, and it made sense considering.

“…and we also have to discuss your involvement in the deviant case.”

Your heart skipped a beat.

’ _Oh fuck, what have I done?’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another one up! Think i'm getting back into the mojo.
> 
> As always, many thanks for reading, the kudos and for your many comments! :)


	24. Fight or Flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Scared is what you're feeling. Brave is what you're doing.'
> 
> ― Emma Donoghue, (Room)

Sitting there alone in the small room was just as daunting as it had been when you first came here. No one had mentioned your involvement in the case yet, but you braced yourself for it all the same. At the moment, you tried to concentrate on the report that was laid out in front of you.

A part of you wanted to shove the paper away and walk out in an act of defiance, but that was just a fleeting thought that disappeared as quickly as it came. It would be a stupid thing to do anyway. It felt like the whole room was closing in on you, unseen eyes watching your every move.

What if they’d found out about Haven? By now it was picking up pace, and you realised that at some point it would be noticed by the authorities. It was just a matter of when, rather than if.

Taking a last, long look over what you’d written, you finally got the courage to get up and hand it in. You had tried to draw out the process as long as possible so as not to be confronted with the bad news you were sure was coming your way. The police android at the desk took your report and asked you to sit and wait outside the Captains office. It felt like you were back in high school again, waiting for your punishment.

The fact that none of the officers on duty had cuffed you yet was a good sign though.

You sat gingerly at the bottom of the stairs to the office, unwilling to lift your gaze at any of the people that passed by you. You scanned the other side of the room, wondering if either Connor or Hank was about. Then again, you weren’t sure you wanted to see them, not if the news was what you believed it to be. You noticed that Hank was sitting at his desk, typing up something rather lazily. Connor was elsewhere it seemed.

You tensed up at the sound of footsteps behind you, forcing yourself to look up at the Captain. His face was hardened, mouth drawn into a thin line.

“Miss Vale, if you’d like to follow me.”

No, you wouldn’t. Not that you had a choice in the matter.

As you made your way up the stairs, you caught sight of Connor who was standing by his desk. He was watched you ascend the stairs curiously, his brow furrowed.

Looks like he didn’t expect you to be here.

It felt like the interrogation all over again as you sat down and waited for Fowler to get comfortable in his chair. You picked at your nails, biting the inside of your cheek to keep your nerves down. It wasn’t working too well.

“Alright, first of; thanks for writing up a report about what happened yesterday.”

He paused, probably waiting for you to say something. You just gave him a polite ‘no problem’ in response. At the moment, you weren’t really in the mood for conversation.

“But you’ve probably figured out by now that’s not the reason why I’ve asked you here.”

You let out an annoyed puff of air from your nose;

“I think I know why, though.”

Fowler settled back into his chair, hands clasped in his lap. It was difficult to keep a steady gaze with him; his eyes were so sharp and intense. Despite this, you did your best to keep eye contact.

“Well, I’ve decided that it’s in your best interest and ours that you no longer be a part of the investigation alongside Lieutenant Anderson.”

You knew it was coming, but it still hit your chest like someone punched you. You tried to keep your cool, but it was difficult not to break your composure.

“May I ask why, exactly?”

“Aside from the fact you almost got killed by a deviant? How about the fact that you’re not actually a trained cop, just a member of the public with an interest in androids? That in itself should be enough reason.”

You held your tongue down with your front teeth, anxious to say something that would probably get you in trouble. Instead, you decided to take the diplomatic route;

“I think I handled those situations rather well, considering I’m not trained. If you ask Connor, he-“

“ _It_ doesn’t have authority over this decision, Miss Vale.”

Fowler sighed deeply, leaning forward onto his desk. You sat more upright, showing him that you weren’t going to back out so easily. If you were going down, you were going to go down strong.

“Speaking of which, your ‘pro-android’ views are not something we need at the moment. Do you realise the full extent of what’s going on? This isn’t some social justice case for you to psychoanalyse.”

“I do understand, actually. That’s why I wanted to help. Why did you ask me to help with the investigation in the first place if you want to get rid of me so quickly now?”

He seemed to be getting annoyed at your constant rebuttals. Good, you wanted him to know just how you felt about this.

“ _I_ didn’t want you to get involved and neither did Anderson, at first anyway. It was the android’s decision to have to tag along. Hell if I know why…”

It was Connors idea to have you work with them? That was a surprise, but a welcome one. It’s a shame the idea was now getting thrown to the wolves.

“They have no idea that I’m not working with them anymore, do they?”

“They will in a few minutes.”

You sat there silently, glaring daggers at the wall. You didn’t know what else to say, the words dying on your tongue before they could be spoken. Your shoulders slumped. At your lack of response, the Captain stood up from his desk, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I’m not going to argue with you any further, so I’m going to ask that you leave the station now. Thank you for your help, Miss Vale, but your assistance is no longer needed.”

Taking a moment to digest what had happened, you slowly rose from your seat, taking off the ID from your jacket. You wished that Hank or Connor would come bursting into the room to plead with Fowler. Of course, no one did, and you couldn’t wait around here any longer.

You made your way past Hanks desk and tapped its surface to get his attention. It looked like he was about to curse until he noticed it was you who interrupted his work. 

“Hey kid, you alright?” He queried, spinning his chair to face you.

You shrugged, shaking you head.

“I’m off the case.” You admitted in a faux happy tone.

Hank looked back at the Captains Office, then at you again. He looked a bit peeved off at the news.

He swore under his breath.

“That’s a real shame. That why you were up with Fowler?”

You nodded woefully, fidgeting with your jacket buttons.

“Damn it.” He leaned in towards you, “But hey, if anything comes up that I think you’d be good at tackling, I’ll let you in on it.”

“Really? You’d do that?”

He crossed his finger over his heart;

“Scouts honour.”

You chuckled dryly;

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’d warmed up to me, lieutenant.”

He snorted, nodding his head over towards Connors desk.

“Eh, you’re still a pain in the ass. It’s more for Connor than anything, you’re a good influence on him. You’re making him less like a machine and more…normal. If that can happen.”

Connor hadn’t noticed you had left the office and was busy talking with a police android. You were going to miss working with these two.

“Thanks Hank. I’ll stay in touch.”

“You’d better, I can’t be fucked dealing with an existential-crisis android by myself.”

You held a hand to your chest, imitating being shocked.

“So, you won’t miss me? Not even a bit?”

“Didn’t I just say you were a pain in the ass?”

“Love you too, Hank.”

He groaned, holding his head in his hands.

“Ah, fucksake...” Was all you heard, as his hands mumbled the rest.

“See you later, Hank!” You said cheerfully, he mumbled back a gruff, “Yeah, yeah, see yah.”

That little conversation with Hank made you feel a bit better, especially knowing that this wasn’t technically the end. At least you knew that you hadn’t pissed him off too much.

As you made your way over to the front desk, you managed to catch Connors eye. He still looked baffled, his attention detracting from whatever he was talking about. You gave him a small wave and a smile, before turning the corner towards the front desk. You weren’t sure you could face saying bye to him just yet. Hopefully, if Hank was true to his word you’d see him soon.

 “How long do I have to keep doing this for? Its fuckin bullshit!”

That familiar voice made your blood run cold; it was Liam, and he was pissed off.

Unfortunately, he was at the front desk complaining about something to the poor receptionist who was trying to calm him down. You froze, your body unwilling to move properly. It took a lot of effort to walk those few steps towards the desk, obviously putting as much distance between you and him as possible. You wanted to get this over quickly before he noticed it was you.

You placed the ID badge on the table, noticing how much your hand was shaking. Even him just being nearby was getting to you. It made you feel sick.

“Thank you, Miss Vale, we will be in contact with you if we require anymore assistance.”

You muttered a hurried thank you as you signed out.

“Alex? What are you doing here?” Liam had noticed it was you.

He sounded so damn casual about it, as if you were old friends bumping into one another. You said nothing, turning to leave the station and as far away from that man as humanly possible. He moved quickly to block your escape route, holding his arms out as if waiting for a hug. You tensed, taking a step back.

“What, you ignoring me again? Come on, you should have gotten over it by now!” He exclaimed jovially.

Every time you tried to move past him, he intercepted. He did it so casually that to the untrained eye it would look like playful banter between two friends.

Eventually, you got tired of the game, and stopped dead to look him directly in the eye.

“Leave me the _fuck_ alone, Liam. I don’t want to talk to you, so get out of my way.” You hissed through gritted teeth.

At this his entire demeanour changed; his grin faded into a sneer, and his arms dropped to his waist. He seemed to forget where you both were, as he started to get up into your space, forcing you to retreat.

“You think your so much better than me, huh? Shame you fuck bot didn’t get torn apart after what he did. Are you gonna fucking answer me or what?” He seethed.

You heard another voice, but Liam being there was blocking all your senses. Someone was trying to get Liam to back down, but he just shrugged them off. You thought you’d been able to overcome him, but it seemed like nothing had changed.

 No. You had to try. You had to show him you weren’t afraid.

“I don’t need to answer to you, Liam. I never _did_.” You bit back.

His nostrils flared.

“You should be in jail for having that psycho robot you wh-“

**_WHACK!  
_** Your palm collided with his cheek, making him stumble back slightly. It all happened so quickly, that you didn’t realise it was you who had slapped Liam until your hand began to sting. An officer finally pulled Liam back before he tried to retaliate, holding him under the arms and pulling away from you.

A warm hand gripped your shoulder, holding you in place as Liam was taken aside.

The realisation of what you’d just done hit you like a ton of bricks. You clasped your shaking hands over your mouth. You’d hit him, actually _hit him_.

“ _Fuck_ , oh shit I didn’t mean- I didn’t…”

“Sshhh, its fine, it’s alright. Just take deep breaths.”

Connors calming voice from beside you had an instant effect. You took his advice and tried to steady your shaky breaths. All that bravery had vanished from you as quickly as it had come. He guided you over to the side to sit down, telling another officer that he’d take care of you.

He sat down next to you, whispering words of encouragement as you tried to calm yourself down from the high. You could still hear Liam in the background, making you shiver. This wasn’t what you’d thought you’d feel after doing something like that. You thought you’d feel happy, relieved. Instead, that fear had returned in spades. Fuck that bastard for what he’d done to you.

“Shit, I’m sorry bout that, Alex. Didn’t know that asshole had to report in today.”

Hank was standing over you both, probably after having dealt with Liam. It sounded like Reed was also giving him a talking-to somewhere behind Hank. Liam wasn’t used to someone speaking to him the way Reed was, and as such was completely silent.

For once, you were cheering on the detective.

“It’s fine. I shouldn’t have hit him…”

Hank chuckled lowly;

“The fucker deserved it, so don’t worry about getting called up about it. I’m just sorry that it got to that point.”

“I should have got here sooner…” Connor uttered.

Connor was still sat at your side, and you noticed that his forefingers were gently holding your wrist. He was probably checking your pulse, making sure you were calming down. You weren’t sure that it would calm down any time soon. Still, it was comforting that Connor was there.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m just glad you’re here now.” You confessed.

After trying to move your arm, you noticed that your hand was gripping Connors arm tightly this entire time.  Hank also noticed, raising an eyebrow at you. You unlatched yourself from Connor, mumbling an apology as you did.

“I should get going, I’ve been taking up too much of your time already.”

As you stood up, Connor mirrored your movements almost completely in sync. He still had that worried frown plastered over his features, and no wonder. You knew you still looked a mess, and you knew that no matter how much you said you were fine that Connor wouldn’t believe you.

“You shouldn’t be alone in your current condition.”

You snorted, trying to wave off the situation;

“Its fine, Connor. Seriously!” Trying to sound amused at the idea, instead your voice cracked.

Connor didn’t find it as funny.

“I’ll go with you, to…-” He paused, which was unusual for him, “…to make sure that your condition stabilises.”

Hank looked at you, then Connor, then back at you. He seemed entertained by this whole scenario. It wasn’t helping.

“As long as Alex is alright with it, it’s fine by me.” He shrugged.

Not that you didn’t want Connor with you, but you didn’t want to impede their investigation any more than you had done already.

“But, the investigation- “

“Is on standby at the moment until we get more information. Connors free to go, for now.” Hank cut in.

Connor was just watching you closely, waiting for a response.

You had to admit to yourself that you wanted him there. You wanted Connor there. Hank was one thing, but Connor was…

Connor was…

You conceded.

“Okay Connor, if you want to come with me you can.” You gave him a sad smile, “It’ll be nice to have some company over.”

At that, you turned to look at Hank who seemed to have caught your meaning. He took a step back, holding out his hands to stop your train of thought;

“Nah, comforting people’s not really my area. I’ll just be glad you’re not alone.”

He chuckled, then gave you a mock salute as he made his way back to his desk. You and Connor just stood there awkwardly, your eyebrow raised.

“Well, “ You sniffed, “I guess we should get going then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaand another one up!
> 
> This'll be the last one for a few days since i'll be away, I just didn't want to leave it on a cliffhanger :)
> 
> Thank you for all your support!


	25. Comfort (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'I accept the hard reality that I maybe might possibly be just the slightest tiniest littlest bit kinda sorta interested in him.'
> 
> ― Sarah Ockler, (Twenty Boy Summer)

 

Conner had insisted that he drive you home, and you honestly couldn’t say no to the face he was pulling. Well, that and you were in no shape to drive yourself. As you drove back, you felt comforted by the fact that Connor was next to you, and that you wouldn’t be alone. At least, for a while anyway.

The sleet hammered against the car, making the outside world warp into a mess of colours and shapes through the window. As such, most of your attention was on the inside of the car, your eyes wondering over the various bits and bobs cluttered it. You weren’t sure if he was trying to be subtle, but Connor would take quick glances over at you from time to time. He was worried about you, he wanted to know if you were getting better.

You wanted to know that yourself.

“I heard that you’re no longer helping us with the investigation.” He commented.

You twirled in your seat to face him, appreciating his profile from this angle. His eyes flashed to yours one he noticed you were watching him.

“Yeah, I wish it weren’t true but…” You tailed off, dropping your gaze to his blue armband.

“I enjoyed working with you, with what time we had. I also wish that it didn’t have to end this way.” Connor said, giving you a small smile.

“Yeah…” You muttered lamely, leaning your head against the seat. You weren’t sure what else you could say at that moment. It was going so well, and then it all came crashing down in an instant. Story of your life.

The two of you spent the rest of the car journey in comfortable silence, just happy to be in each other’s company.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Once you’d reached the flat, you ducked your head into your chest, as if you could hide from the sleet. Interestingly, Connor flinched as droplets hit his face, which contrasted greatly from his response a few days ago. He was becoming more human in his reactions, even something as simple as that spoke volumes.

You forgot how much of a mess your house had become; half-unpacked bags were left where they were dropped, and rubbish was beginning to pile up on the tables. You felt suddenly very self-conscious about your house since Connor was here;

“Sorry it’s such a mess…” You apologised, hanging up your jacket.

“It doesn’t bother me, what I’m worried about is you at the moment. I came to make sure you were alright.”

You stared at him for a few seconds, his words sinking in. It did seem that he had eyes only for you at the moment, not even caring to glance around at the state the flat was in.

“I’m getting there, just need to clean up in here before it gives me a migraine.”

You plodded off to your room to change into more comfortable clothes before you started to clean. Once you returned, you noticed Connor was already beginning to clean up the living area.

You sighed;

“Connor, no, you don’t have to clean up for me.”

He just gave you a smile and continued to pick up the rubbish around him.

“You need this time to relax, just let me help you.”

It made you feel terrible, watching Connor clean up by himself whilst you stood there. Even though he told you to sit down, you went over to help him clean up. He opened his mouth to protest but seemingly decided against it.  You worked together like a well-oiled machine and in no time, your living area looked clean.

Shivering, you draping the blanket that hung on the back of the couch over your shoulders. You hissed as your freezing hands hit your warm stomach as you tried to hug yourself.

Connor obviously noticed;

“You’re cold; why don’t you increase the heating?”

“Not enough money right now, I’m happy enough with my blanket.”

His face scrunched up, probably not too pleased with what you’d said. He knew as well as you did that he couldn’t do anything about it. You didn’t have this problem with money when you were with Liam, then again you were also constantly walking on egg shells with him. You’d rather be cold and occasionally hungry than be with him.

You settled into the couch, still feeling like you’d been dragged through shit several times. You wanted to cry, to throw something, punch someone, anything. Biting your lip, you huddled deeper into the blanket until it covered your lower face.

The TV droned on about something or other, but you weren’t focused on it. The scene at the police station kept interrupting your thoughts, replaying over and over again.

You were startled slightly when Connor broke your eye-contact with the TV to kneel in front of you.

“I’ll make you something to drink, if you’d like?”

Goddamn his puppy eyes.

“You don’t have to look after me Connor. You being here’s enough.”

“But I’d like to.” He tilted his head, “Hot chocolate?”

You couldn’t help but let out a smile. You conceded defeat, his eyes were too much for you.

“That would be _amazing_ , thank you.”

He got up and after a few seconds you heard him rustle around your cupboards.

“Second cupboard left of the oven, Connor.”

You heard him let out a quiet ‘ah-ha!’ which made you giggle into the blanket. He really was becoming his own self, his own person. You quietly watched the TV whilst he worked, until he rounded the couch, steaming mug in hand. He gently placed it on a coaster.

“Thank you Connor, I’m glad you’re here.” You confessed, watching his expression brighten up as you said it.

“As am I.”

He sat down in the small armchair that you had, which hardly anyone sat in. Mostly because it wasn’t particularly comfortable and also because you hardly had anyone over. Hell, the police turning up at your door was probably the busiest this place had been ever. You took a sip of the chocolaty goodness, humming contently as it warmed your insides.

“If ever you need a new job Connor, just know that you make excellent hot chocolate.”

He just smiled, Leaning towards you in his seat.

“Are you feeling a bit better? Your heart rate has certainly calmed down. I was worried that your anxiety would have gotten worse.”

“Thanks to you, I am, yeah.”

You looked like a little old lady, huddled in your blanket with mug in hand. The hot chocolate certainly helped you feel better, and so did Connor. You both quietly watched the TV as you sipped delicately from the steaming mug.

You wanted to say something, but nothing came to mind. You were scared he would get up and go if there was nothing else for him to effectively do. You wanted him to stay.

No, you _needed_ him to stay.

“How’re you feeling, Connor?” You finally asked, sipping your drink carefully.

He looked a bit surprised at your question, and you wondered if anyone else had asked him that same question.

“I’m…alright, thank you.”

His answer was stiff, almost sounding rehearsed. You scooted over the couch to be closer to him. It was a difficult task, but you managed it whilst still in your cocoon.

“How are you _really_ feeling? You know you can talk to me, right?”

He gave you a raised eyebrow;

“I’m more interested in how you’re feeling, that _is_ why I’m here.”

You waggled a finger at him;

“Ah! Don’t deflect back to me. You feeling down’s making me feel down, so I’d like to know how you are.”

He fiddled with his hands;

“I’m happy being here…with you. I was just worried for you earlier, and I still am. I’m not sure why I feel so…” He held his hand to his chest, unable to finishing his sentence.

You wanted to know exactly what he was going to say, but you didn’t want to push him. This conversation seemed difficult enough for him without you adding pressure to it.

Instead, you leaned over to take his hand, giving it a slight squeeze;

“See? That wasn’t so hard was it?”

God, you really, _really_ wanted to press him, but you held back. It wouldn’t be fair on him. Connor took notice of a photograph on the side table and picked it up to examine it further. He turned it towards you;

“Is this Kay?” He asked, pointing to the taller male in the photograph. It was a photo you and Kay took when you’d both gone to the zoo. It was around the time he’d come out of his shell, when he’d developed his own sense of being. He was giving the camera an awkward smile, whereas you were grinning like a fool. It was a fun day.  

You nodded.

“Yeah. He usually hates getting his picture taken, but I twisted his arm.”

“Why would you do that?” He asked, brow furrowed.

“It’s a saying, Connor.”

He made an ‘oh’ face but continued to study the picture. His frown reappeared.

“So, Kay is…good.”

You nodded slowly, unsure of where he was going with this.

Connor continued, his voice unsure;

“He deviated, and even then he was still…good.” You nodded, again.

“He protected me from Liam. He was kind, and funny…”

You smiled to yourself, thinking over memories you and Kay had. Then, Liam’s terrible gaze entered your mind, blocking out Kays like an eclipse. You kept picturing the moment where he was attacking Kay like an animal. Your happy mood soured after that image.

“…and now he’s a criminal, apparently.”

Your grip tightened on your mug, ignoring the uncomfortable heat spreading through your palms.

“And you see people like Liam get away with all this shit, and you start to question what the hell’s wrong with the world.” You remarked through gritted teeth.

But you weren’t finished yet…

“Androids make one wrong move, one wrong _glance_ , and they could be dismantled, killed. And for what? Because they might have a mind of their own?”

You glared at the floor, as if you could burn holes into the wood;

“Then you get people like me that let assholes walk all over them and do nothing to help androids who need…who-”

Your chin wobbled, your voice cracking. You drew in a few short breaths, trying to stop yourself from blubbering again.

You heard Connor shift in his seat as he moved to sit next to you. Your body went rigid, feeling the couch sink to your side.

“I think you are good person, Alex, and very brave.”

You stared at him confused, blinking your eyes rapidly.

“…brave?” you breathed.

Wiping the tears that had fallen with the side of your jumper, you snorted.

“I’m a lot of things, but I’m not that.”

“And yesterday? What would you call that?”

You shrugged,

“Dumb luck?” You joked.

“You kept your cool when many others would have broken. You are worth far more than you think.”

You hiccupped, trying to hide your blush behind your mug.

“You’ve showed me that I am more than just a replaceable machine, that I have worth. So, I’m asking you to try and see it in yourself.”

He made you cry more, sniffing up furiously as to not look like a snotty wreck. He was too good, too kind.

“Connor, I…thank you.”

You couldn’t help it, you leaned over and gave him a tight hug. He was unsure at first, but after a second his arms surrounded you to return the embrace. You couldn’t stop the tears that began to make a wet puddle on his shoulder.

You could have stayed this way for hours, but Connor eventually pulled back to look at you.

You laughed dryly;

“I must look like a total wreck.”

Leaning over the table to grab a tissue, you tried to fix the mess that was your face. It was difficult to even see Connor clearly through the waterworks.

Connor just sat and waited for you to get sorted. He was so patient with you, even when you went off on a rant.

 You sighed contently, stretching out your sore muscles.

“Well, this turned into a bit therapy session didn’t it? Didn’t think you coming over would have that effect.”

Connor handed you another tissue, which you thanked him for.

“But did it help?” He asked.

“A lot, actually. I already said this before but, I _really_ am glad you decided to stay with me. I needed to get this all out.”

You laid a hand on his arm, which was sat perfectly in his lap. You leaned in to stare into his dark eyes, feeling undeniably drawn to them;

“You’re one of the kindest people I’ve ever met, Connor. How people can’t see you for who you are and not what I’ll never understand.”

You gaze held for a while, your gaze dropping to his lips once or twice. He was just so…

Clearing your throat, you resettled yourself on the couch, not so subtly leaning into Connors shoulder. You perched your chin on his shoulder, looking up at him.

“How’s about we watch a movie? You know, to get our minds off stuff.”

He didn’t answer for a second, his gaze fixed down on where your two bodies met. You didn’t look away like usual, you didn’t want to.

He eventually let out an ‘alright’ under his breath, still not all there.

And so you picked out a movie from your collection, something light hearted but not stupidly so, and settled back into the couch. It was a shame Connor couldn’t eat food, otherwise you’d have made popcorn. Well, you did that anyway, but it was a shame he couldn’t help you eat it.

He asked a lot of questions during the movie, mostly about how certain things were even possible. You had to remind him that most of it wasn’t real or based solely on real-world science. It was usually you who questioned stuff throughout the movie, so it was new to be on the receiving end. He eventually just ran with it and relaxed back to enjoy the movie.

Your mind, however, was on Connor.

You couldn’t describe how you felt about him. Despite it only being a few days of knowing one another, you felt so at home being with him. You wanted to know him better, what he wants to see and do, where in the world he’d like to visit. Stupid things like his favourite colour. You’d never felt this way with Kay, this jolt of happiness whenever he so much as looked at you. You wanted him to be safe, to be free.

Your heart sunk when you wondered about his future. Did he even have one?

For now, you wanted him to enjoy the time he had with you, especially now that you were no longer working together. You were split on telling him how you felt, but would it be cruel to? Does he even feel those sorts of emotions?

A soft nudge at your side brought you back into the room from your musings. Connor was looking down at you with those inquisitive eyes of his. Apparently, the movie had finished.

“Are you alright?”

_‘No, not really.’_

“Yeah, I’m good. Did you enjoy the film?” You asked, sitting back up from Connors rather comfy shoulder.

“It was alright, although the story was a bit far-fetched. The visuals were very appealing though.”

You gave him a toothy grin.

“I’m glad your first movie-going experience was a good one!”

The mood in the flat felt like this was all coming to an end. You racked your mind to come up with an excuse, any to make him stay just that little longer.

Just a _bit_ longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm Baack!
> 
> So, yeah i'll be trying to catch up with chapters the next few days, but i'll do my best to keep up with publishing chapters!
> 
> Also, hope ya'll like a bit of Connor, as there's more next chapter :D
> 
> As always, kudos and comments are always aprreciated!


	26. Comfort (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Some people care too much. I think it's called love.'
> 
> — A.A. Milne (Winnie-the-Pooh (Winnie-the-Pooh, #1))

 

“Connor, can I ask you something a bit…random.” You asked, wringing the ends of your jumper. He gave you an affirming nod and so you continued;

“Could I perhaps…sketch you?” You asked, biting your lip.

His eyes were drawn to your mouth almost immediately. You mirrored his actions instinctually, quickly looking back up.

“Why would you want to sketch me?”

You shrugged;

“I’d like something that reminds me of you…”

 You snort-giggled, unable to stop yourself from saying it;

“And Seriously, have you had a look at yourself recently?” You blushed wildly, “I mean…”

_‘What am I, some high schooler trying to flirt? Come on…’_

You were waiting for him to run out the door, perhaps making a quick excuse as he rushed out of this rather awkward situation. He instead looked very interested in the idea, his eyes brightening up considerably. You weren’t sure if that was a blessing or a curse.

“In that case…alright.”

You bashfully slinked away, mumbling about getting your art supplies. That was probably the most embarrassing thing you had said to a guy since, well, ever. Connor was just too nice to walk away or tell you how awkward it was.

Scrambling around the back of your desk, you finally found your larger sketch pad that you hardly used nowadays. You wiped of the layer of dust that had formed on it, making sure it was well away from your nose. It had been a long while since you’d done some good-old sketching. Most of your artwork was made to be sold, so you hardly had time to draw things you wanted to draw.

Once you returned to where Connor was, you noticed that he was standing up and waiting for you.

“Just have a seat on that chair and keep your eyes on that corner.” You pointed.

Connor did just that, positioning himself exactly as you asked. Perhaps a bit too rigidly though. You popped down your sketch book and gently pressed down on his shoulders until they were more relaxed. Your hand then reached for his chin, where you tilted it ever so slightly.

Finally, you flicked that stray bit of hair over to sit ‘just-so’ on his forehead. There, perfect.

“Now, just stay still until I tell you to move. I’d usually tell people if they want to sneeze they should let me know, but that doesn’t really apply to you.”

Connor was following your instructions so closely, that he didn’t even respond. So, you sat down cross-legged on a footstool in front of him and began to sketch. You took time on his dark brow, and the way some of his neck muscles tensed. You spent time on the shape of his eyes, trying to capture their curiosity and wonder. The shape of his lips. The way his jawline complemented his cheekbones

Right now, it was just the two of you and a sketch pad. Although you had to admit, the silence was getting to you.

“Ya’know…” you drawled, “You _can_ talk.”

He blinked a couple of times, glancing over at you from the side

“I thought you wanted me to remain still.” He mumbled through his closed mouth.

Oh gee fucking whiz…

“You can move a bit, just don’t move _too_ much.”

He looked even move confused, his face scrunched up in a comical fashion. You couldn’t help but laugh through your nose at his response.

“Connor, just…relax okay? That’s all I’m asking you to do. Be casual.”

He seemed to catch your drift, his shoulders slouching slightly.

It only took him a few minutes to ask you something. Honestly, you expected it sooner.

“Did you ever draw Kay?”

You blew the rubbings off your sketchpad, watching them drift down onto the floor. A large grey pile was forming a halo around your feet. You’d forgotten how messy drawing could get.

“Like this? No. I have used his likeness as a basis for some of my artwork though.”

You leaned in, tilting your head to better see his jawline. You couldn’t help but stare at the way his Adams apple bobbed slightly when you did so. You swallowed.

“From what I’ve seen of your work, you draw some of your inspiration from androids.”

“How’d you figure?” You asked, correcting the shape of his ear with a few quick flicks.

“Much of your work has an element of humanity, but they are often represented with bionic components rather than organic. Some even have the aspect of both the natural and unnatural, as if they were one and the same…”

You stopped your pencil mid-draw, peering up at him through your lashes.

“And what do you think of them?” You queried, resting your head against your fist.

“I find the symbolism in your artwork to be thought-provoking, and I find them to be enjoyable to look at.”

You couldn’t help but beam at him, feeling a sense of pride wash over you.

“So, you’re an art-lover, huh?” You joked, dipping your head-down to continue your work, “You’re getting more hobbies by the day!”

 

Time had passed, and you were almost finished your sketch, taking time to make adjustments. Of course, there was always parts you wished you didn’t do or wanted to change, but you shoved those thoughts to the side.

Holding it out in front of you, you twisted your head this way and that to make sure it looked alright. It was a realistic, scrappy sketch that you’d done for him, and to be honest with yourself it wasn’t that bad.

Now it was the moment of truth.

“Okay Connor, you can move now I’m all done.”

He blinked furiously a few times before his eyes settled on you. In turn, you spun the pad around to face him, your chin balanced on the top of the pad.

Connor didn’t say anything, he just stared at it. His eyes darted across the paper, taking in all the details of his face you had tried to draw in. Your grin faltered; did he not like it?

“Well, what d’ya think?” You asked cautiously.

“It’s….”

You chewed your lip; eyes darting from the pad to him and back.

“Yeaahh? C’mon, don’t leave me is suspense.”

He gently took it from your hands and held it up.

“It’s…wonderful.”

You watched him quietly, unable to form any sort of word at the moment. Under the surface though, you were giggling and bouncing about like a loon. He like it!

“You really think so?”

“It looks so much like me, although some parts are…-“

“Yeah, I know. Call it ‘artistic interpretation’.” You made air-quotes with your fingers to further the point.

He raised an eyebrow at you over the pad.

“You interpreted… _my face_?”

You clicked your finger and pointed it at him, giving him a knowing look;

“ _Artistically_.”

“Art is a…confusing medium. I’m not sure I understand in its entirety.”

“Don’t worry, nobody does.” You shrugged, clasping your hands in your lap.

He continued to analyse his portrait as if he could uncover some hidden meaning, whilst you just sat there and let him take it in. Like Kay and Markus before him, he was appreciating something on a deeper level than what one would usually figure an android would. Something creative with no defined meaning or purpose.

He truly was becoming more than just his function. He was becoming human.

Connor eventually held it out for you to take, your hands brushing over one another’s during the pass over. You carefully placed it on the table behind you and smacked your knees.

“That was fun, did you enjoy it?”

Connor smiled wide, his eyes seemed to sparkle.

“It was a strange experience, but I liked the results.”

“That’s what a lot of humans say when they’re sketched too. At least you could sit still for a long time without getting tired!” You laughed. The corner of Connors mouth pulled up in amusement.

You wiped the corner of your eyes, feeling the water pool at the corners. Connor had his attention still on you, his whole face smiling.

“I’m glad that you feel better now, you could barely smile earlier and now you’re laughing.”

You felt your stomach twist in knots. You scratched the back of your neck awkwardly.

“Well, that’s thanks to you. Not sure I could lift my mood on my own, but you being here it- “You paused, giving him a smile, “It means the world to me, really. Thank you.”

The two of you sat in quiet discussion, talking about anything and everything that came to mind. You were both in a bubble, the outside world barely acknowledged as you chatted.

By the time you noticed the time, it was already rather late. It was amazing just how much time had passed, despite the fact that it felt like barely an hour had flown by. Connor also seemed a bit surprised once he looked out the window, seeing the illuminated lights glow through the window. The whole room looked a hell of a lot darker than it did earlier.

You groaned internally.

Time was finally up.

Connor made his way to stand, readjusting his suit and tie. You followed his movements, the smile fading from your features.

“I should head back now, it’s getting rather late.”

God, he sounded like a teen boy who needed to be home by 10 or his parents would ground him. Then again, you were afraid of him getting into trouble for being ‘out’ outside of the investigation.

A wave of panic shot through you at the thought;

“Won’t they wonder where you’d been?”

Connor finished straightening up his tie, and gave you a small smile;

“Probably, but I believe that this was important. After all, part of my mission was to get to know those I’m working with.”

Although the words stung at first, you realised that it no longer applied to you. Crossing your arms over your chest, you raised an eyebrow;

“But we’re not working together anymore, remember? So, you came with me and stayed here because…?” You prodded.

His LED flickered yellow, realising that you were right. He was doing something that wasn’t essential to the investigation, and yet he not only took you home, but also stayed with you for god knows how many hours.

He looked away, looking almost bashful as he did it. Considering how he’s been acting recently, it wouldn’t surprise you if he was truly feeling it.

“Because I…care about you. A great deal.”

Your hands fell from your chest, and you gave his arm a soft squeeze.

“So do I. So… so you stay safe, okay? I don’t want to hear about you getting hurt while I’m not there. You _and_ Hank.”

 He nodded, finally returning your gaze. You were so close to him, so close you could have…

Scattering those thoughts from your mind, you stepped back and walked him to the door, padding along beside him barefoot. You told yourself that this would ** _not_** be the last time you’d see him. Even if you have to go through several metaphorical hoops to see him again.

He turned around to face you, nodding his head towards the door;

“Remember to lock your door. He’s not allowed near your house, but I…I want you to be safe when I’m not here.”

He sounded coy, his LED flickering red as he looked away again. God, why was he so damn adorable?

You gave him a two-fingered salute in jest…and immediately regretted it afterwards.

You fidgeted on the spot, slightly anxious about what you wanted to do next. Should you or-? No, fuck-it.

“Thanks for being here tonight, for listening to me and just being…well, you.”

Fuckin’ hell, that was cheesy. You leaned up and gave him a kiss on the cheek, your mouth lingering a bit longer than normal. Despite not needing to actually breathe, you heard him take a sharp intake of breath. Afterwards, Connor just gazed down at you, his face a mixture of emotions. You wondered what ones they were.

He stumbled over his words before he managed to say something coherent.

“I’ve enjoyed today, and I hope we- we can still talk…”

Your heart leaped in your chest after hearing that he wants to still stay in contact. All night you’d worried about him running away and never returning, but it looked like he enjoyed it as much as you did.

You gave him a toothy grin;

“Of course, of course we can! I’ll complain to Cyberlife if I can’t see you again!”

You said your goodbyes, trying not to make it sound like a final farewell. You watched him go from your doorway, a tight feeling hitting your chest. Connor was changing, becoming more human as the days went on.

You just hoped that he would be safe when _he_ realised he was deviant.

No, you’d _make_ sure he was safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it for some fluffy-fluff with Connor (for now!).
> 
> Chapters a bit shorter, and i'll need to write ahead some chapters. There might be an odd number of chapters every so often for the next few days, since i'm working quite a bit more nowadays :/
> 
> But anywho's, thank you all for the support! :D


	27. To Protect and to Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Trusting is hard. Knowing who to trust, even harder.'
> 
> ― Maria V. Snyder, (Poison Study)

You could hardly sleep that night; your thoughts completely swam with images, replaying them over and over. It wasn’t even something huge, but those small moments you shared left you wishing for more. No matter how much you tried to drown out the thoughts, they would always return as strong as they did before. So, you stopped fighting, and relaxed into them.

After the fifth time turning over in your bed, you settled with your back to the mattress, facing upwards towards your dark celling. You dozily watched the lights off cars dance across the plaster, mesmerised in your tired state. You never would have guessed that Connor would have such an effect on you. You weren’t entirely sure what you felt yet, but whatever it was it was not what you expected.

Of course, it had to happen _after_ you’d been taken off the case.

The next morning, you awoke groggy and in desperate need of caffeine. You’d never forgone sleep over someone since a high school crush, and the feeling was strange to relive. You were updated by Theo regarding Haven, and you let him know about your lack of connection to the investigation. It could have come in handy, but Theo supposed that being away from them was safer for you and the androids. Although you were unhappy about the turn of events, you had to agree somewhat.

Despite all this, you had a renewed sense of purpose. Not only was the pro-android group gathering momentum, but your relationship with Connor remained intact despite not being part of the investigation. The last few days were a mix of ups and downs, but it definitely felt like things were taking a turn for the better.

You had spent most of the morning cleaning up and finishing off commissions you had been ignoring for a while. You needed to get yourself back on track, take control of your life. Moping around your flat would only make things worse.

It was just past noon when your phone buzzed, blaring out the tune that you _really_ had to change. You snagged it off the table, huffing since it had ruined the arty groove you were currently in.

“Y’ello?” You didn’t hide the disdain in your voice about getting interrupted.

“It’s Hank, was wondering if I could have a chat with you. Over lunch?”

You replaced your brush onto the palette, pressing the phone closer to your ear. You couldn’t help but smirk;

“I’m flattered, Hank, but I have to break it to you-“

“Don’t make this more fuckin’ awkward, alright? Christ…”

You heard him mumble and grumble on the other end of the phone, then a dog barked somewhere in the background. Aw.

You snorted;

“Sorry, sorry. Where at?”

“Havana Java? I’d say Chicken Feed, but I figured it’s a bit low-brow for you.”

“Eh, my standards slipped as soon as I went into Uni. You don’t realise how versatile beans can be until it becomes your staple food source…”

His side was silent for a moment, obviously your comedy had no effect.

“Chicken Feed, then.”

“Nah, Java’ fine.”

He swore under his breath.

“G’damn it…fine, whatever. Half-twelve?”

“See you then.” _Beeep…_

You couldn’t believe how easy it was to wind him up, but you couldn’t help but do it anyway.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hank looked slightly awkward sitting there in the café by himself. If he frequented Chicken Feed, you didn’t have to guess why that was. He seemed to relax slightly once you came in through the door, giving you a lazy half-smile.

“Been keeping out of trouble since being away?” He teased.

You scoffed, shrugging off your wool coat and scarf;

“It’s been barely a day, what d’you think I’d do?”

Hank just laughed it off, and you both ordered your lunch. It was nice to go out with so many different people this last while. Ever since Liam and you broke up, you’d huddled yourself inside your own bubble, and in doing so lost a couple of friends along the way. Even the one who helped you get away from Liam in the first place.

People can be fickle creatures.

Twirling your pasta idly, you raised an eyebrow at Hank;

“This is nice and all, but I figured there’s a reason for meeting up with me besides a friendly lunch.”

He stayed quiet for a second, his face scrunched up into a frown. You braced yourself for some bad news, more bad news.

“What do you think of Connor?”

You stopped mid-bite, metaphorically chewing over the question. You then took a bit of time to actually chew the piece of food. What an interesting question to come out his mouth.

“Why d’you ask?” You queried, swallowing a pasta bow.

“You understand androids and shit better than I do, I wanted your opinion.”

You took a second longer to think, smiling to yourself;

“He’s…different.”

“As in?” Hank pressed. You picked at your food, poking the pasta with your fork.

“Connor has shown a level of independent thought that I’ve only ever seen in…well…”

“Deviants.” Hank finished for you, whispering it under his breath.

He didn’t sound angry, thankfully. You were quite surprised that he wasn’t, since he’d shown several times that androids weren’t his favourite thing in the world.

You swallowed, nodding;

“Yeah, exactly.”

You took a quick glance around the room before shuffling forward closer to Hank.

“You’re not going to…tell Cyberlife about this, are you?”

Hank said nothing, seemingly paying more attention to his food than you. His continuing silence started to annoy you.

In a moment of spontaneity, you reached forward and yanked his plate towards you just as Hank went in for a chip. Hank finally looked up at you, giving you a look.

“Hank, just tell me what you’re going to do.” You ordered, anger apparent in your voice.

You didn’t mean to sound so aggressive, but his lack of any sort of response had rubbed you the wrong way. He huffed and tried to grab the plate, you just dragged it further away from him.

At this, Hank threw himself back into his seat, giving you a worn-out look. You just held your annoyed gaze.

He finally threw his hands in the air exasperatedly;

“I dunno yet, okay? I don’t know. That’s why I wanted to talk to you about it.”

You sat together quietly for a moment, the noise of the café around you merging into a low, muddled hum of voices. Eventually, you pushed his plate back to him which he grabbed. Maybe he expected you to pull it away again, but you weren’t that cruel.

Despite relinquishing his plate, you didn’t back down;

“You can’t send him back, you _know_ what they’ll do to him.”

Hank chewed at his chips, humming in agreement. You still weren’t sure what his thoughts were about all this, he seemed to be intentionally withholding his own opinion for the moment.

“He doesn’t deserve to be torn apart for…for _feeling_. I know that you don’t have the most positive opinion of androids, but you must see how this isn’t. Fair.”

Hanks gaze broke away from yours, choosing instead to stare at the salt shaker. He seemed to be torn between two opinions, unable to really commit to either one.

“I get it, I do. He hasn’t been acting like he should be since, well, a while now.”  Hank fidgeted with his hands that were balanced on the table in front of him. “It’s just-… _shit_ , it’s just complicated, alright?”

He scratched the back of his head, letting a sigh escape his lips.

“I just wanted to get your thoughts on him before I get mine figured out.”

A smile tugged at your lips;

“You said ‘ _he_ ’.”

“What?”

“You didn’t say ‘ _it_ ’, you said ‘ _he_ ’ when you were talking about Connor.”

Hank just shook his head, shoving a load of chips into his mouth instead of responding. You decided to let him be, finishing off your own lunch. You could tell that Hank was beginning to warm up to Connor, despite what he originally thought about androids. If he’d been as anti-android as he apparently was before, Connor would probably already be decommissioned by now. 

Even after you started talking about any number of random things that entered your mind (including his dog), the grin never left your face.

He. Hank called Connor a _he_.

Baby steps.

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were actually quite happy with how the conversation with Hank went. You’d have rather left after he had promised you Connor would be safe, but you didn’t want to push his buttons further. You’d have known if Hank felt strongly against Connor, but from what you’d seen of the two, they got on well enough.

Connor was safe, and for now, that’s all that mattered.

For the next hour or so, you spent your time conversing with various members of Haven. The name Jericho had spread across the group like a wildfire, feeding the idea of change. More stories of androids being saved began appearing, and unfortunately so did incidents involving anti-android groups. It was an inevitability when it came to big social changes like this, one side rises and the opposing side pushes against it. Those who spoke out still faced anger from some, but the atmosphere surrounding androids seemed to have changed over the last few days.

It was quite remarkable how opinions can change so quickly and with such effect.

Your musings were broken when a message from ‘K’ flickered onto your screen.

It simply read;

 

**- I need your help, Alex**

 

That immediately made you frown, and reply back with speed;

 

**-** **What’s happened? You OK? Is Jericho compromised?**

 

**- No, a deviant needs assistance getting away from their ‘owner’. I need someone like you to be there with us.**

 

You needed no time to think before you replied;

 

- **Where and when?**

 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Given the location and asked to come immediately, you made your way towards where Kay had instructed you. As per his instructions, you dressed yourself up to blend in as blandly as possible; dark clothes and a beanie to cover your head. Something subtle but not too casual.

You parked slightly away off from the location and walked until you saw Kay who was standing with another person you’d never seen before. They stood off to the side of the main street, trying to look non-descript. Kay, noticing it was you, pushed himself up off the wall and walked the little ways to meet you;

“I’m glad you could come with us, I wouldn’t trust any other human with this.”

The other man walked up behind Kay, watching you somewhat warily. You recognised him as an android, there were a number of models that used his particular features. Which one he was exactly you had no idea, not that it mattered anyway.

You smiled warmly at Kay, giving him a quick hug;

“You know I’d help you in a heartbeat, especially with something like this…” You paused, frowning, “…I assume you have some sort of plan?”

“The deviant we’re here to save contacted us but couldn’t get away on her. We need to get in there and out with the android, preferably with no violence.” The other android spoke up, digging his hands into his pockets. He didn’t seem so happy with this situation.

Feeling the tension rise between the two of you, you coyly stuck out your hand towards him, eager to ease the uneasy atmosphere. This wouldn’t work if you three couldn’t work together well.

“I’m- “

“Alex, yes I know.”

He shot down your introduction so quickly, that you just stood there dumbly for a few seconds, holding your hand out to the air. You were just trying to be friendly, why was he being so hard-headed?

“Is something wrong?” You inquired, unable to hide the annoyance in your voice.

“I just don’t see why we need a human to help us, but Markus and Kay trust you. That’s the only reason why I’m giving you a chance.”

You were a bit taken aback by his response, and suddenly felt yourself shrink away from him. Kay was glaring at him, arms folded over his chest.

After giving out a heavy sigh, the android relented;

“Sorry, it’s just…I’ve not met many humans who were willing to help. It’s still strange to me…”

You understood. Androids like him were in Jericho because of their bad relationship with humans, you had no idea what he’d been through before he found freedom.

You shrugged;

“Don’t worry about it, I shouldn’t expect you to trust me just like that. Let me prove to you that you can trust me, that I’m willing to help.”

That seemed to ease his uncomfortableness as his body seemed to visibly relax. You wanted him to trust you, and you him. He stuck out his own hand towards you;

“Simon.”

You took it, shaking his hand firmly.

“Alex, but you knew that already.”

Simon's mouth twitched into a small smile. At least you were both on even ground now, it would have been horrible going into this with resentment rising on both sides.

“Lovely. Now, could we turn our attentions to the task at hand before I begin to rust in the rain?” Kay said drolly, shifting his eyes between the two of you.

“Well, we’ll let you know if you start to creak too much. Shame I didn’t bring my oil canister with me.” You joked back dryly, earning an amused expression in return.

“As always, your sympathetic nature _astounds_ me.” Kay snarked.

Meanwhile, Simon had pulled up his hood and began to make his way down an alleyway, only to stop and turn to the both of you.

“Now who’s wasting time?”  

Looks like Kay wasn’t the only android who could be snarky.

As if scolded by your parents, Kay and you followed behind Simon sheepishly, mumbling apologies as you caught up with him. You had to get your head into a serious mindset, knowing how important this whole situation was.

It was nice to walk alongside Kay again though, although this was going to be more than a simple walk in the park. Someone’s life could be at stake. The further you walked, the faster your heart beat against your chest. At this point, the adrenaline was becoming something of an addiction.

Kay noticed your rigidness, and nudged your arm softly;

“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” He whispered.

“No.” You admitted, shaking your head, “But like hell am I backing out of this now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for putting up with my random updates, but it's just a bit more difficult to keep up with the story and other things going on.  
> Don't worry, i'm not about to abandon this story, not with all the support I've received! 
> 
> I appreciate all the kudos and comments from you :)


	28. Amy and Amy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'One day you will do things for me that you hate. That is what it means to be family.'
> 
> ― Jonathan Safran Foer, (Everything Is Illuminated)

The three of you skulked between the dark alleyways, where the lights never seemed to reach. You eventually walked out into an open area, where the streets stretched out into a more suburban area. Simon walked ahead, peering over the boundary walls at the house numbers. Pulling your jacket collar closer to your face, you watched the area warily for any not so friendly characters. The wind was biting, and you hoped that Simon found the house before you lost feeling in your fingers.

“How exactly are we going to get her out?” You asked Kay.

“We’re going to have a talk with the man who owns her; Mr Thomas I think his name is.” Kay answered with a shrug.

You felt yourself involuntarily shudder as Simon finally stopped at a house.

“You’re making it sound a bit ominous.”

“The android, Amy, told us that he can be persuaded to let her leave. It’s just that his current state is a bit…difficult.” Kay mumbled the last part, glancing over at Simon who nodded in agreement.

“Amy also told her owner that a psychologist would be coming over to help their situation.”

You raised a curious eyebrow at him;

“I’m guessing that would be me, right?”

Simon and Kay nodded. Okay-dokie then.

“Right. Kay could come with me, but how about…?”

Simon motioned his head over to the side of the house.

“I’ll wait at the back for the three of you to come out. If anything goes wrong, I’ll be close by.”

Well, that was encouraging.

Taking a deep breath, you padded up the stairs towards the scabby looking door ahead. Standing there, waiting with Kay it felt like the two of you had never been apart. The situation changed, but the feeling was the same.

“Like the old days, huh?” You mused, giving Kay a twitch of a smile and a nudge.

He didn’t get the chance to answer, as the bright-light of the house swept over the two of you as the door opened. A female android stood in the doorway, who you assumed was Amy. She was rather petite, her blonde hair tied up into a simple ponytail. Although her expression was pleasant, her eyes held a degree of sadness in them.

“Thank you for coming, you have no idea how much it means.”

Unsure of what to say, you gave her a simple soft smile. After acknowledging Kay, she let you both pass into the hall. The house was homely, the smell of burning wood caught your nose immediately. It was warm and inviting, which you honestly weren’t expecting. Perhaps it had become cliché by this point, but you expected the place to be worse for ware or for it to have a tense atmosphere. It had neither, and it knocked you off balance somewhat.

Amy walked you through the hallway, passing by a table filled with photographs of every size and shape. Photos of a young child in various outfits and places, a family of three huddled together in front of a waterfall and various other landmarks, a young woman smiling at the camera in university gear waving her degree. They told a happy story, one of a close family.

The three of you made your way through to the kitchen, where an older man sat watching the news on tv. Once he turned around, you immediately recognised him from the photos.

He scoffed, taking a sip of his whiskey as he turned the TV off;

“So, you’re the brain doctor who’s here to ‘fix me’, huh?”

You opened your mouth, then shut it again. It was hard to find the words in a situation you really didn’t know much about. You had a mind to rant at Kay later about getting this information last minute, but for now you had to adapt.

“I’m here to help, Mr Thomas, that’s all.”

The man snorted, throwing back his glass until he’d downed all the liquid inside.

“Well you can go, I’m fine and so is Amy, so if you don’t mind- “

“Please,” Amy interrupted Mr Thomas, “Just listen to her for a few minutes. For me.”

The man mulled over Amy’s plea, pouring himself another glass. He eventually nodded and motioned for you to come and sit in front of him. He went to grab a glass for you, but you politely declined. Whatever the situation was here, it had Mr Thomas on edge.

You needed to get to the bottom of Amy and his relationship.

“I hear that you’re very close to Amy, Mr Thomas.”

His facial features suddenly softened when you mentioned her, he looked like a completely different person when he wasn’t frowning.

“Of course I do, she’s my daughter.” He answered back as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

You frowned;

“And the young lady in those pictures?”

“Yes, that’s her. I thought you were here to help, not here to ask stupid questions.”

He was getting visibly irritated, his body sitting back away from you, tense. You needed to turn this around before he got fed up and asked you to leave.

“I just need to better understand the situation, Mr Thomas. I apologise if this feels like an interrogation, that was never my intention.”

You shifted in the seat, crossing your legs over one another.  

“Why don’t you tell me a bit about her.”

Mr Thomas took a sip of his drink and relaxed back in his seat. If this situation was what you believed it to be, then you had to push him a certain way.

“She’s…wonderful. Brilliant. Such a clever girl…” He smiled to himself, cupping his glass in his hands.

“Amy’s got a degree in physics, don’t you Amy?” The android looked away when Mr Thomas looked up at her. It was clear that this Amy was not the same one that was in the photos. Though their looks were similar, it was clear that there was another Amy before this one.

“She sounds like a clever young woman, Mr Thomas. What did she do after she graduated?” You asked, pressing him ever so slightly.

The man’s dreamy smile faded, and he took another deep gulp of the burning liquid. He looked uncomfortable with the question, so you knew you were getting somewhere. That was until he downed the last drops of whiskey and slammed the glass onto the table. You couldn’t help but jump at the sudden clang.

“This is a fuckin’ waste of time.” His eyes bore into yours, “I think it’s time you left, whoever the hell you are.”

No, _dammit_ , you were too close to getting an answer. He got up to move away, and you mirrored him. Kay stood warily off to the side, keeping an eye out in case this whole thing went totally wrong. You didn’t think that Mr Thomas was the violent type though.

“Mr Thomas, your daughter- “

“-Is fine, absolutely **fine**.” He interrupted sternly.

It was clear that he was in a state of delusion, and he needed to break out of it for you to get Amy out.

Amy looked torn between you and Mr Thomas, worry clearly visible on her features. You were losing him, so you decided to stop skipping around the subject and go straight for the jugular.

“Your daughter died, didn’t she?”

You didn’t like being so blunt with a man who clearly was going through issues, but you felt as though there was little other options. He stopped dead, his shoulders tensing up at your words.

Instead of admitting it, Mr Thomas just shook his head furiously;

“ _No_ , no she’s right there, are you blind? She’s there!” He pointed at Amy, his arm shaking. She looked near to tears.

His arm wavered;

“She’s right…” His voice cracked.

You stepped towards him carefully, stopping short when you felt Kay touch your shoulder. Giving him a comforting smile, you stepped out of his lax grip.

“What happened to Amy, Mr Thomas?” You asked gently.

He was silent for a while, but you let him take his time.

Finally, his gaze lifted back to yours;

“They said it was an overdose, but she was a good girl, she would never…” His voice trailed off, the wobble in his bottom lip making it hard for him to talk.

“…she…she left for a party, gave me a hug and told me not to stay up too late…I never saw…I never…”

Android Amy put a comforting hand on his shoulder, as she herself started to look teary. It still felt strange to see androids cry, but it tugged at your heart when it did happen.

“But Amy…” He eyed the female android, “…she won’t leave me, she _can’t_ leave me again.”

He still held onto the idea that this Amy was his biological daughter.

“She’s _not_ your daughter, Mr-“

“SHE’S ALL I HAVE LEFT!” He bellowed, making you shut up and back off slightly.

You weren’t sure what to do, this wasn’t going the way you’d planned.

You opened your mouth to speak, but before you could utter a word Amy spoke first;

“She’s right, I’m not that Amy. You know I care about you deeply…but I’m not the daughter you lost.”

She had such a calm and soothing voice, it almost seemed to ease the tension that had brewed between the four of you. Even Mr Thomas seemed to be taken aback, but probably more so because of what she had said.

She looked over her shoulder at you, and you realised what she wanted you to do. You stepped away to allow her to talk with him.

“You cannot keep believing that I’m her, it isn’t fair to either myself or Amy. She deserves to be remembered for who she was, and not through me.”

Mr Thomas grasped her elbows gently in shaky hands, and you knew there was no hostility or anger from him towards Amy. There was only affection.

“I can’t let her go again, if you leave it’ll be the second time I’ll say goodbye.”

“You’ve been holding onto Amy’s memory too tightly, as you have me, “ Her voice cracked slightly, “I think it’s time you let us _both_ go.”

Mr Thomas and Amy stood there for a few moments, his eyes taking in her every feature, before he embraced her tightly in his arms. She hugged him back just as strongly, both of them in tears.

“Amy was a lucky girl to have you as her father, I know that I was.” Amy said through tears, smiling at her father figure.

Even you felt your eyes well up. Kay gave you a side hug, noticing your body shake slightly. When you signed up for this, this sort of situation was not at all what you expected.

“You’re right, you shouldn’t be holed up here with an old fool like me,” He joked through his sniffling, “Go and be happy, be free.”

The two hugged one another once more, before Amy went off to get some of her things.

“Thank you, Mr Thomas. She’ll be safe with us.” Kay spoke up, sounding genuinely grateful towards the older man.

Mr Thomas sighed, looking off in the direction Amy left;

“It’s something I should have done a long time ago.”

 

 

You gave him your contact details if he ever wanted to talk, and you and Kay made your way outside to leave Amy and her ‘father’ some time alone to say goodbyes. The air had become chillier since you arrived, your breath freezing mid-exhale. You hoped Simon hadn’t frozen solid waiting for you.

Once Amy left the house, still very emotional, you made your way around the side of the house to (hopefully) meet Simon. Said android sprang into life at the sight of the three of you turning the corner. Well, at least he wasn’t an androidsycle.

He smiled gently at Amy, who grasped her rucksack tightly in her hands, unsure. She was obviously still rather timid.

“My name is Simon. You must be Amy, right?” She nodded, pulling the bad up over her shoulders. Simon glanced between the two of you;

“It went well, then?”

“Amy did an amazing job, without her I don’t think she’d be here with us now.” You smiled over at Amy, who finally gave in and smiled back. Kay nodded in agreement.

Simon turned his attention back to Amy, fixing his jacket;

“Are you ready to go to Jericho?”

“Yes,” She swept her gaze around the three of you, “…and thank you so much for coming to find me. I don’t think I’d find the courage to speak up if you weren’t there.”

You waved off her complement, and Kay just scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

Simon gave you a ghost of a smile, his mouth tugging ever so slightly upwards;

“Not bad work, for a human.”

“That mean you trust me now?”

Simon hummed in the back of his throat, though you had no idea if it was a good thing or a bad thing.

“I…suppose so. Though you said yourself that you didn’t do much.”

You groaned in an over-the-top fashion, slumping your shoulders.

“I don’t think I’ll ever live up to your impossible standards!”

You made him chuckle, actually chuckle. Even if it was only a tiny bit. You were getting through to him.

Simon straightened up, his expression turning serious;

“From what I’ve heard, you’ve risked a lot to help androids. Meeting you, seeing you work with us to help an unknown, you’ve…exceeded my initial expectations. I actually believed that Kay was over-exaggerating your willingness to help us.”

“Thanks.” Kay mumbled. Amy snorted.

“It’s true, but I’m glad that you’re here now, helping us. You’ve earned my trust.”

You couldn’t help but grin after what he said. You tried to stop yourself but instead looked like you were holding back vomit rather than a smile. Not the most flattering look.

Kay seemed to get bored of hanging around and began to move away from your little group. He turned around and began to walk backwards, giving the three of you a raised eyebrow.

“Think it’s time we got moving, don’t you think?”

Time indeed.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

The three of you made your way through the winding streets and alleyways, being careful to avoid large groups of people. Nobody really paid much mind to what your group was doing, since you just looked like a bunch of friends wondering along the sidewalk. Amy, at times, jumped and generally looked similar to a scared mouse. You walked next to her to give supportive words. This was all new to her, and no doubt it was a frightening experience.

At the edge of an old industrial park, Simon finally stopped and turned to the group. His attention, however, was squarely on you.

“This is where we part ways I’m afraid. I could take you further, but I don’t want to compromise Jericho. You understand, right?”

“Yes.” You agreed. You would love to actually see Jericho, but it was their space not yours. It would feel intrusive to enter an android only safe space.

You said your farewells to Simon and Amy and gave Kay a tight hug before they all disappeared into the dismally grey landscape. Within seconds, you’d lost sight of them.

You were glad you had your phone, more specifically your GPS.

You’d no fucking idea where you were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter for you guys, since it might be a few days until my next one (sorry!)
> 
> Once again, I must thank you for your continued support of this story, I never expected it to be so positively received. :)


	29. Standing Tall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'One's dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.'
> 
> ― Michael J. Fox

As you wandered back to your flat, the sky seemed to twist into several colours before settling on a dismal blue-grey. At least the rain had held off for the most part.

You spent most of your time walking back with your face in your phone, but your mind was still fixed on what happened. It was a strangely similar story to that of Jean and Nathan, but theirs was not as distorted as Amy and Mr Thomas’ had been. You supposed it had everything to do with how people dealt with grief, and in such a case everyone reacts differently.

At least you had gotten Amy to safety.

The streets were rather busy considering it wasn’t the end of the average work day. It was more apparent the closer you got to your home, where unfortunately a group of protestors had cemented themselves. Their leader, who was blasting his thoughts through a megaphone, stood above the gathering crowd on top of a stone bench. He was garnering a fair bit of attention, and most of it was positively recieved.

Worst of all, they were right in the way of your flat.

You were in no mood to go wandering about again, and so you made a b-line towards the group.

You tried to steady your breathing as you moved closer, head down to stare at your phone. You did not want to start anything, but no doubt some of them would. You began to make your way past the group of people, muttering an ‘excuse me’ every now and then as you edged past them.

You were almost in the clear, when a hand at your elbow stopped you short.

“Hey, you were a speaker at that android debate!”

“Sorry, think you’ve got the wrong person.”

You tried to pull your hand away from his grip, but he didn’t let up. Instead, he tried to pull you round to face him so as better to see your face. You seethed;

“Let go of me, please- “

“Hey! This woman’s an android lover!”

_‘Ah, fuck.’_

It was eerie the way the crowd turned to look at her, including the speaker who’d gone quiet. It reminded you of some sort of witch trial from back in the day. Some looked at you in disgust, others in anger. You felt like you’d been dragged into a wolf’s den, and they were ravenous. You were finally able to jerk your elbow away from the man, noticing that you’d become surrounded in those few seconds.

All you could do now, was stand your ground. And so you did.

“So, you’re the one spouting all this pro-android bullshit, huh? That debate ya’did really fuckin’ helped your ‘ _cause_ ’.” The main-protester belittled you, sneering down from his high position.

Some of the others around him joined in taunting you, though none of them had taken to outright assault. Yet.

You bit back what you really wanted to say, instead choosing the high ground;

“The debate ended _early_ thanks to a bunch of morons breaking into a fight. I was willing to listen to your side, why can’t you?”

You tried to raise your voice over the jeers around you and was pleasantly surprised that it drowned out some of the noise. It didn’t seem to have much of an effect, though.

A particularly aggressive looking woman came barreling toward you, finger pointed threatening at your face.

“Oh, fuck _off_ with your bleeding heart! You know jack shit!” She spat. Despite the obvious push into your personal space, you remained steadfast.

“I used to have a good fucking job, and then along came those fucking robots and took it away from me! A prissy fuck like you has no idea what it’s like!”

She stepped closer, eyes burning into your own with such fury it was rather frightening. You bit your inner cheek, knowing that she would feed of a response. Seems a bit too hard, as you tasted copper against your tongue.

“So, got anything fucking clever to say? Huh?” She held out her hands in a pose that screamed ‘fight me’. Ignoring the racing of your heart, you held your head up and gave her a piercing gaze.

“If you’re trying to push me into a fight, you’re not going to get it. You’re acting like a play-ground bully, so I’m going to go.”

At that, you spun on your heel and made your way through the crowd, pushing past those who refused to move. The woman kept cursing at you, probably unable to think of anything else to say. You felt a sense of pride as you began to stride away, refusing to look back at the protestors. It felt good to stand up to them, to show them you weren’t going to hide behind a screen anymore. That there were people who cared, and that they wouldn’t stand for insults and badgering.

Before you left the little square, you stopped mid-step once the voices of the protest group began to mingle with new ones. A discussion behind you was gathering in momentum and volume, like an engine powering itself up.

Interestingly, another small gathering had appeared nearby since you had left, or perhaps they’d always been there. They didn’t seem to be connected to the anti-protest group, rather they seemed to be arguing with them. It was just starting to get interesting, when two officers broke up the rising tension that was lifting between them.

One of the group caught your eye as they dispersed and offered you a knowing smile.

As if they knew you.

Did they know you?

Before you could walk over and ask, both groups had vanished. It was as if nothing had happened in that small square.

The streets went back to their usual hum.

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

You strolled back to your flat, cupping a hot chocolate you’d bought in your chilly palms. You decided to take another, quieter route back home instead of the one you usually took. The weather seemed to be holding up well enough for you to enjoy a bit of a wander.

After that confrontation, you needed to have a break to calm your still racing heart. Shame your mind never got that memo.

Often, you had a hard time switching your mind off, particularly after something big. Whether it was an exam or a speech, you’d spend far too much time worrying and analysing it until you got a headache.

To try and keep your mind a little less cluttered, you turned your attention to the landscape around you.

You passed by shop after depressingly dull shop, nothing too interesting around these parts. Sometimes, you enjoyed going off the beaten track (so to speak) and exploring new routes. Doing so lead you to some of your favourite little cafes and hang-outs. Nothing here particularly caught your eye; just the usual mix of android and humans passing by with no concern for anyone around them.

But then your eyes were suddenly drawn to a drawing on the side of a building. It showed two hands cupping a blue heart. You squinted, moving closer to the image. That was…

That was _your_ design.

After your second talk with Theo, you’d both discussed how your art could be used to help the group grow. Aside from the painting you were finishing up, you designed this logo as a symbol of the then nameless Haven. An image that would work very much like the square the androids were using already.

And there it was, displayed for all to see.

You couldn’t help but let a grin spread across your face. This was probably the best use of your art you had ever seen, and you couldn’t help but be proud.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Your mood was as high as a goddamn kite by the time you had made it home. With energy you didn’t know you still had, you hummed and skipped around the flat as you fixed up your dinner for the next few days. Spaghetti; Kay’s specialty if he didn’t say so himself. Thankfully, you’d watched him enough to copy his recipe to a tee.

You left the TV on as background noise, paying very little attention to it as you worked. Just the usual news reports about sports and whatever else. That was until you heard a very familiar voice coming from your speakers.

You saw something you’d never thought you’d see; Markus, on TV, talking to the audience about android rights. You had no doubt that the station did not allow him to make this broadcast, and so Jericho must have hacked their way in or something.

You stopped your cooking and leant over the back of the couch to watch with rapt interest. It was mesmerising watching him, your eyes hardly blinking as you observed this curious situation unfold.

His speech echoed with so much emotion, so much heart that it made you completely forget the rest of the world for those few minutes he talked. It was astonishing just how he could grip you, and no doubt others felt the same.

“This message is a hope for the people. You gave us life, and now the time has come for you to give us freedom. Some of you have already come together to work alongside us to achieve this goal. My only hope is that more of you will come to see us the same way as Haven does.”

You were speechless, though it wasn’t there was anyone there to hear you speak. He’d publicly acknowledged Haven as their ally, and with it a jumble of emotions rocked your mind. Of course, you felt proud of Haven for proving to deviants that they were a group that fought _for_ them, but the sudden introduction of your group to the public made you fearful too. How would they react to that, more specifically, how would the authorities react?

A lump caught in your throat at the thought of Haven being seen as an extremist group.

Then suddenly, the signal cut off and was replaced by two confused looking presenters. The mumbled and tried to return to the broadcast as if nothing had happened. The moment was over, but the repercussions were going to be felt a long way.

Of course, the Haven chatroom was buzzing with frantic activity; some excited while others questioned Markus’ speech. You were still on the fence, unable to truly commit your mind to one or the other. You hated feeling like that.

And then, you remembered Kay.

If Jericho worked together on this stint, that could mean that Kay was a part of it. The thought made your stomach knot. What if something went wrong?

You refreshed and refreshed the chatroom user log, hoping against all hope that he’d appear online and calm your distress. That he’d be there to tell you he was alright, that Markus and the rest of them were safe. For all you knew, they could all be dead.

Despite having moved to the next room, you made sure that the volume from the TV was loud enough to filter through to your room. They didn’t mention the situation after the event, probably pretending to ignore it.

In this case, no news was good news. If Markus and the others had been caught, they would probably have talked about it by now.

You just wished they’d let you know in some way that everything was fine.

Everything _was_ fine. It _had_ to be fine.

No, you had to find out yourself. You couldn’t just sit here to wonder and wait.

You were going to Stratford Tower.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Honestly, you weren’t sure what you were going to do once you got here. The place was heaving with police and reporters, making the area outside the building a mass of noise and bodies. The whole building was on lock-down. Now all you had to do was figure a way to get inside.

You’d heard the expression; if you act like you belong, people will believe it to be true. How well this worked was going to be a different story.

You reached the edge of the police tape and waved over an officer. Despite not looking too enthused about talking to you, he huffed and made his way over to you.

“I recently worked with the police regarding the deviant investigations, is it possible I could get access inside?” You shouted over the rabble around you.

It was a long shot, but you had to at least try. The officer did not look too amused at your attempt, his frown deepening.

“Ma’am, please step away from the building and go home.”

‘ _Think of something quick you idiot’_

“Please, just- Is Lieutenant Anderson here? Let me talk to him. Or tell him its Alexandria Vale, he’ll know who I am.”

The officer still didn’t look too sure, but he pulled up his walkie-talkie to his mouth and mumbled something about Anderson and you to whoever was on the other end. At least you were getting somewhere.

You could have jumped the tape right then and there when the officer gave you a nod and a jerk of his thumb towards the tower. Instead of looking like a total fool, you ducked under the tape rather than jump over it. You were escorted over to a police van, and given a general access ID badge to get in. What made you a bit nervous was the Kevlar vest one of the officers pulled over your head.

This may be a bit more serious than you originally thought.

A policewoman led you through the building and into the elevator, giving you a few instructions as the lift rose. Normally you’d switch off, but you did your best to listen to everything she said.  It all led to very simple advice; follow the polices’ instructions and do not put yourself in danger.

You watched the numbers rise up and up, and you wondered just how tall this building was. 79 floors, apparently.

You followed behind the woman closely, wary of the fact that there were FBI agents milling about. This had obviously turned into a high-priority case. It didn’t help the fear that settled in your gut. She eventually led you through to what you assumed was the control room, a large screen filling one side of the wall. It showed a still of Markus on screen, his skin the silvery colour that all androids were underneath. You couldn’t help but stare.

You flinched when a heavy hand grabbed your upper arm in a tight grip and pulled you off to the side.

“The _fuck_ are you doing here.” Hank hissed close to your face. You frowned;

“You’re the one who let me up here.” You snapped back, voice barely above a whisper.

His grip loosened on your arm, and he wiped a hand across his face in exasperation. If he didn’t want you up here, why did he let you?

“Yeah, and it was a shitty decision, I get that now. I could get _fired_ for this.”

You crossed your arms, showing him that you weren’t about to go all the way back down just because he had second thoughts.

“Well, I’m here now so you’ll just have to deal with it,” You gave him a steely gaze, “Now; how can I help?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter up! Sorry for the weirdly long gaps again, but i'll do my best to keep them up :)
> 
> As always, many thanks for reading and for the well-wishes!


	30. Bleeding Blue and Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'The great object of life is sensation- to feel that we exist, even though in pain.'
> 
> — Lord Byron

You were briefed about what had happened, given more information than the general public were given by the news. Whilst Hank talked to you, Markus’ speech was being replayed in the background. You couldn’t help but flinch-up when he mentioned Haven again, but thankfully Hank didn’t notice.

“So that’s where we’re at, any thoughts?”

You bit the inside of your cheek in thought;

“Some, but nothing concrete yet. It’s interesting how the leader of the group phrased his speech though. No threats or aggression. The whole thing seems nonviolent.”

You nodded your head over towards the large screen, catching your breath when you saw Connor watching it closely. He looked so intense as he watched the video, probably trying to gain some sort of understanding from it beyond Markus’ message. Hank’s gaze followed your line of sight and he snorted through his nose;

“Yeah, no threats. Think a few people weren’t ‘specting that…”

He motioned for you to follow as you both made your way to Connor, who was still staring attentively at the video. He made no move to look at either of you, his eyes darting across the screen at an inhuman speed;

“Think that’s Ra9?” Hank drawled. Connor’s face remained impassive;

“Deviants say Ra9 will set them free. This android seems to have that objective.”

Balancing your elbow on your other arm, you bit at your finger in contemplation. This ‘Ra9’ had been maddening, like a puzzle that you couldn’t solve no matter how much to tried to think about it. Whether it was real or otherwise, it held a deep meaning for deviants.

You needed to phase what you said about Markus carefully. Hank might not notice any subtle acknowledgements, but Connor might.

“He’s probably following the _ideas_ of what Ra9 stands for, I doubt he’s the source of it. What that is exactly is another story.”

Connor was silent, probably taking time to analyse the still image. You continued;

“Even though they did hijack the tower, it doesn’t look like they killed anyone. How’d they get in then so easily?”

Hank gave you a shrug and looked over at Connor. He seemed to have snapped out of his trance like state.

“D’yah see something?”

There was a hint of suspicion in his voice, or perhaps it was curiosity. Either way, Connor took a second or two to speak after he was asked. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say that he was holding back information. Especially when he took a second to say ‘no’ after Hank asked him if there was anything else he’d seen.

This was new.

His gaze finally landed on you for the first time since you got here, and you immediately straightened up. He gave you a soft smile, but his gaze still looked troubled;

“Alex, it’ll be good to work with you again. But, why are you- “

“Technicality; now let’s keep moving.” Hank waved off Connors question, walking off before either of you could respond.

You gave Connor a friendly pat on the arm and an encouraging smile. He seemed tense after that conversation, but now was not the time to ask why.

So you left Connor to work, and you tried to do the same. Then again, you weren’t sure what you were going to do exactly. The room had barely enough in it to be considered a crime scene, if you didn’t know any better you’d have believed that nothing was out of the ordinary. Well, apart from the large police presence that mingled around. You were thankful that nobody questioned you, but most of the people here seemed to be CSI or the feds. Deciding that this could be a good time to write up some notes about the deviant’s behaviour, you drew out your notebook from your pocket and began to write notes;

_‘No sign of forced entry: assistance from within? Android or human assistance? Android in question calm, focused during speech. Time to spare? No fear of having to finish it up quick? Not a martyr mission, did not want to be captured. Still here? Escaped?’_

Connors voice brought you back into the room, although it wasn’t directed at you;

“They didn’t break in?” He sounded surprised at the very idea.

“No, no signs of forced entry.” An officer replied nonchalantly. Connor looked over to the hallway confused.

“There are cameras in the hallway. The staff would have seen what was happening. Why did they let them in?”

That did sound strange, but it was an amazing feat they managed to pull off.

Hank shrugged, arms crossed over his chest as he approached. He seemed to be taking a step-back from this situation to let Connor continue his train of thought.

“Maybe they didn’t check the cameras?”

“Or, they had help from the inside?” Both Connor and Hank turned to you. With all the gaze suddenly on you, you simply shrugged and penned a note. Connor’s attention turned to the desk beside him, turning the chair to reveal the word ‘ANDROID’ printed clearly on the back.

You pointed at the chair with your pen;

“Huh, so the workers _were_ androids. They must be the reason the deviants got in and out without being noticed.”

Connor gave you a simple nod and turned to hear what the officer had to tell him. Something about the workers being held in the kitchen for the meantime while the search was going on. You guessed they just never thought of the idea that any of them could also be deviant. You scribbled down a few more notes, your attention drawn currently to the scribbled words you could barely read. You strained your ears as you overheard a police officer thanking Connor for saving him, which Connor seemed pretty taken aback about. He must have been the man who was shot during the kidnapping situation a few months back. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself. Connor wasn’t used to being thanked much, it must have come as a pleasant surprise. It certainly was for you.

He deserved more recognition than he got currently.

“Alex?” Your head shot up, noticing Connor tilting his head towards you, “Is it alright if you accompany me whilst I interview the androids? I find it useful to have another present in order to have their perspective on the matter.”

You nodded perhaps a bit too quickly and followed him closely as you made your way towards the kitchen area. Standing all in a row were three androids of the same model, looking passively at the opposing wall. It was quite eerie how they all stood there blankly, like waxwork models. Connor put out a hand to stop you, whilst he walked towards the line. He took a few seconds to just stand and stare at the three, his head slowly moving between them. His movements reminded you of a predator eyeing up potential prey.

It suddenly felt a lot chillier in the room. You shivered involuntarily.

Connor took his time to ask them basic questions about themselves, such as their model and what they were doing whilst the takeover was going down. He began to pace, and you positioned yourself to make sure you could see all of them. Maybe you’d be about to spot the deviant before the deviant hunter.

Your heart dropped. You shouldn’t be so into this.

You were trying to _save_ deviants, and here you were aiding in rooting them out. You had to persuade yourself that sometimes these sorts of situations had to happen in order for the movement as a whole to grow. Even if that mean losing some people in the process.

Connors aggressive method of interrogation threw you off somewhat. For such a seemingly kind person, he had such an intense and slightly frightening side to him. It scared you somewhat.

_‘Attention on the androids, attention on the androids…’_

All of them seemed to give nothing much away…except from the one on the far left. Once or twice, you saw his eyes flicker sideways when Connor was looking away. That was a very human response, and not something non-deviated androids tended to do. It was nothing much, but it might have just given him away.

As Connor got right up in his face for the second time, you noticed the androids hand twitch. You made a move towards him.

_Shit._

“Connor, he –! “

Before you could manage to warn him, the deviant grabbed Connor’s jacket tightly in his fists. The android pushed Connor backwards, and you instinctually reached forward to try and pull him off. All that adrenaline made you’re mind take a back-seat, and the android took the chance to kick you hard into the chairs and table behind you. Losing balance, your vision blanked out as your head smacked into the edge of the table. Fear gripped you as you tried to see, fearing the worst. It eventually came back, but as if you were looking through Vaseline. You felt sick.

Trying to blink away the blur, you could barely make out Connor trying to wrestle with the deviant. What exactly they were doing to each other and who was winning, you had no clue about. It was a mess of shapes that cumulated into a colourful blur of movements.

You tried to stagger up, but your head swam as you tried to stand. The world around you continued to spin, and you swore internally for your brain to get itself back together. You swear that you mouthed ‘Connor’ a few times but weren’t entirely sure if you said it out loud.

The deviant suddenly made his way towards you, his figure getting more and more defined as your eyesight returned properly. You tried to crawl backwards, but he easily grabbed your arm and pulled you up.

It was then that you noticed Connor; his chest a hole and his hand stabbed under a knife. Blue thirium spilled down his open shirt as he struggled to keep himself standing.

“Conn -!“

The deviant slapped a hand over your mouth, gripping your face painfully in his palm. He brought his face close to your ear;

“We’re going to walk out of here. You tripped and fell, and I’m taking you for medical attention. If you make a comment about what happened, I’ll kill you. If you try and help _him_ , I’ll kill you. Understand?”

You nodded furiously, your eyes never leaving Connors frantic form as he tried to reach the knife. He was afraid, so afraid, and you couldn’t do anything to help him.

“Alex…” His voice was so strained, pained as he watched you leave.

The deviant let go of you and led you firmly out the room with a hand behind your back. His other hand held you by the waist, and you felt the coldness of a blade sitting under your shirt. You immediately tensed up, hissing through your teeth at the sudden feel of it. As you made your way out, you noticed what you assumed was Connors Thirium pump on the ground.

_‘Time to put my acting skills to the test.’_

You pretended to trip over your own feet, holding you head and hissing in pain as it happened. As you did your little act, you managed to subtly kick the pump back in the direction of Connor. Thankfully, the deviant didn’t seem to notice.

You just hoped that Connor could free himself in time before he’d…

Your head still felt like someone was shaking it violently from side to side, but the android kept you steady as you walked. His grip around your back wasn’t as tight as the one around your arm. Mostly because of the knife. Old bruises would be reappearing, it seems.

An officer immediately noticed your less than stable condition, and strode towards you;

“Ma’am, are you alright?”

Inside, a part of your mind screamed and yelled for you to just tell him. You hesitated for a moment, until you felt the sharp point of the knife dig into your side.

“I just…I just hit my head. This android’s taking me to get help.”

The officer seemed to accept your response and turned away from the two of you to go back to work. Your fingers twitched, wanting to grab his vest.

The two of you continued to walk down the hallway, the android giving you fake words of encouragement just to make the situation that bit more believable. You passed by Hank, who had his head angled away from both of you as you passed. If he’d just look up, you could give him a look that let him know ‘something’s wrong’. He didn’t though, so you were forced to keep going along with this facade.

The door was centimetres away from you both, and fear clawed at your chest at the thought of what would happen if he managed to leave the hall. Would he kill you? Knock you out?

A frantic burst of footsteps from behind you made the deviant spin round, taking you with him in the process. Your eyes widened.

_‘Connor.’_

“It’s a deviant, STOP IT!”

The deviant quickly swung you round to hold your back against him and grabbed a nearby military officers gun. It happened in seconds, you had barely enough time to register anything properly. Your head swung forward from the sudden jolt, the deafening sound of bullets mere inches away from your head making you freeze.

Your ears rang, and you felt the deviants grip fall from your body as he slumped onto the ground. You just stared, unblinking at nothing. Your legs were giving out, but someone caught you before you fell.

“Ale….Alex, d…uo…h..r..me? Br…the deep. Slowly.”

It was Connors voice, his gentle, calm voice. There were others around you, but they were drowned out by him. You tried to do as he asked, breathing deeply and trying to stop yourself from shaking.

You gaze slid down to his chest where it was stained blue, frowning.

“You were hurt…” Your voice slurred, watching the thirium drip down his shirt.

“I…was. But I’m alright now, see?” He gently placed your hand where his thirium pump was ripped out, and you felt it humming with life under your palm.

“Good, cos I’d be sooo pissed off at you if you died.” You mumbled, your words slowed.

He smiled down at you, probably happy that you weren’t totally out of it.

The back of your head felt hot, and you gingerly touched the back of it with your fingers.

It was wet. Fuck.

As you brought your hand round to face you, Connors eyes widened fearfully.

“Alex-“

“I’m- I’m bleeding…fuuck…”

Your vision swam. He gripped you tighter, holding your face in his hands.

“Alex, stay awake for me, sta-“

Connor blurred, and your ears hummed with voices that had no words.

Connors face filled your mind before your world went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks for the support you've given me over the last few weeks, finally reached chapter 30!
> 
> Couldn't have done all this without the support I've received :)


	31. Headaches and Blushes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Un bisou sur une joue - Fait rougir les deux joues'  
> (A kiss on one cheek makes her blush both cheeks.)
> 
> \- Charles de Leusse

You awoke in a white room, a clawing headache making you wince as your eyes adjusted. What happened before this, whenever it happened, was fuzzy at best. You could remember wandering about the tower, seeing Markus’ face, the deviant…the gun.

Things couldn’t have gone much worse for you. At least you weren’t dead.

You stayed laid back, taking a few moments to try and get your mind in gear again. At least you felt several times better than you did when it happened. Apart from the headache, that is.

You weren’t sure how much time passed, as a nurse dotted in and out every so often to check how you were and ask you if you needed anything. He mentioned that you had visitors, and that they’d be back soon to see you. Your mind was still a bit airy-fairy, so you just nodded and felt yourself drift off again, unable to keep your eyes open.

The next time you awoke, it was to the gruff voice of Hank somewhere next to you. His back was facing you, talking to the nurse who’d been attending you whilst you were here. Said nurse noticed you were awake, and his eyes drifted over to you. Noticing that he was distracted, it made Hank turn around to face you.

His expression was a mix of worry and annoyance.

“See you’re finally up then.” It was more a statement than a question.

You edged yourself carefully up to a sitting position, the nurse giving you a hand as you struggled up. Hank moved over, somewhat awkwardly, to sit in the chair next to your bed. He fidgeted a bit, as if the whole situation made him feel uncomfortable. Or it was the place that had him on edge.

He was annoyed at you, you could tell.

“I’m sorry, Hank. It was my fault, I should never have…” Your gaze fell to your clasped hands that were nested in your lap. It _was_ your fault, and Hank probably got shit for allowing it.

He cleared his throat, wringing his hands together in front of him idly.

“Going to the tower? Yeah, that’s on your fuckin’ head. Getting hurt? No.”

“But, I – “

“You had no idea what was going to happen, hell, no-one did. Main thing is you’re here now.”

He scratched his chin idly, giving you a weak smile.

“And I should have just put my fucking foot down, told ya’ not to come up to the tower,” Hank groaned, “I’m too soft on you, seriously…”

Well, he wasn’t as angry at you as you originally thought, that’s good.

“Still my decision, though. Still my fault.”

Hank scoffed, leaning back to cross his arms over his chest. He seemed to be in a better mood than he was originally when he came in.

“Damn right it is. You really are a pain in the ass. Please, for the love of God do _not_ join the police.”

You snort-chuckled, not the most refined response;

“Don’t worry, it’s not on my to-do list.”

Your eyes began to wander past and around Hanks form, trying to get a glimpse outside the door. He was alone, which made your stomach drop. You jolted up in the bed, feeling your head twist in response;

“Where’s Connor? Is he alright?”

Hank held up both his hands as if to stop you. He looked more amused at your question than worried.

“Hey, hey calm down. Connors fine, don’t worry.”

Settling yourself back into the cushions, you smiled to yourself. Everyone was safe, and that thought put your mind at ease. Then again, you had no idea about Markus and the others. That would have to wait, however.

“I guess you didn’t get much out of that investigation. Not much evidence or anything. Do you have any leads to go on?”

“Not-a-one.” Hank huffed. You raised an eyebrow;

 “So…what’re you going to do now?”

Hank let out a drawn-out sigh escape his lips. He looked defeated.

“No I- _fuckin_ -dea.”

If the investigation had caught the eye of the FBI, Jericho could be in real trouble. It wasn’t so easy to outrun them as it has been with the police. With both forces after them, their chances looked slim. It also didn’t bode too well for Haven, as they might be seen as accomplices to the deviant uprising.

You bit into your cheek, feeling annoyance bubble up inside you. Hank shuffled in his seat, looking rather stiff sitting there. His eyes dotted between you and the wall, until he finally let out a sigh;

“Sorry; not got the best bed-side manner. Connor’s been biting at the bit to get in here. Hell, we almost had to pry him off you to get you some first-aid back at the tower.”

You stared at Hank with wide eyes, surprise marring your features;

“…What? Really?”

“Uh-huh. Seems like he’s…uh…really warmed up to you.” Hank commented cheekily, giving you a sly smile. You just rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t stop the feel of your heart leaping about behind your ribcage. At least he didn’t see you as a nuisance, you probably would by now, considering all the shit you’ve dragged him through.

Hank bounced up and out of the seat, probably feeling a bit embarrassed by your conversation. You couldn’t imagine Hank dealing with this sort of topic with it any other way.

“Whelp, better let you and Connor talk before he busts the goddamn door down.”

“It was good seeing you, Hank and... i’m sorry for being such a pain in your ass.”

Hank shrugged, giving you a tired smile;

“Don’t sweat it, kid.”

As you waited for Connor to appear, you actually felt…giddy. Anxious. It was strange to feel this way about someone else after what happened with Liam. It was refreshing. Brushing back your rather manic hair as best you could, you waited not particularly patiently for him to arrive.

When he did, you could have run over and hugged him.

His eyes were fixed solely on you as he strode over, worry painted his face as plain as light of day. His LED flickered yellow the entire time, despite the fact you’d apparently been okay for a few hours now.

Maybe he just wanted you to say it to him yourself.

He sat down carefully in the seat next to your bed. You gave him a gentle smile;

“Hey Connor.”

“…Hi.”

Your gaze drifted down to his chest, and your mind dragged you harshly back to the moment his pump was ripped out of him. It was a terrible thing to remember, and of course your mind went to that moment and not when he’d recovered it. Honestly, you felt like your mind hated you the way it treated you sometimes.

Connor opened his mouth to speak, and then shut it again. You leaned over to him;

“Are you okay after…well…ya’know.” You motioned to his chest with a finger, and his gaze followed it down. Connor nodded slowly, his face still one of concern as his eyes met your once again.

You sighed dramatically, giving him a small smile;

“Connor, I’m fine now, Okay?” You tapped the side of your head lightly, “Just a headache.”

“But you could have bled out or been killed if the deviant managed to escape with you.” His artificial Adam’s apple bobbed, “I shouldn’t have asked you to accompany me.”

His tone was hard, but you weren’t sure if it was directed at you or himself. He seemed conflicted, unsure of what he did, of what _you_ did. It wasn’t anything you hadn’t seem before with him.

But none of this was his fault.

“ _I_ shouldn’t have gone in the first place. I did it without thinking and this is the result. What I did, I chose to do myself, you didn’t force me to go with you. So _don’t_ blame yourself.”

You placed your hand in his, watching as his own one eventually enclosed your smaller hand. You absentmindedly stroked your thumb over his skin.

“I should have tried harder to stop the deviant from attacking you, but I couldn’t. Seeing you there just…it…” You pressed your free fist against your teeth, trying to stop yourself from blubbering.

Your bottom lip wobbled, making speech that bit harder. As if on cue, just to make you feel that bit worse, your head began to pound angrily again.  

Looking Connor dead in the eye, you ignored the sharp pains stabbing at the back of your head;

“I don’t want to see you like that again. I _can’t_.”

You squeezed his hand tighter, and he reciprocated it instantly.

“I’ll try my best not to get injured, then.”

His lip tugged into a half-smile, his frown finally fading away from his face. You hated seeing him so down. It seemed that lately, you two had little to be happy about.

You reluctantly took back your hand, the feeling of his artificial skin on yours lingered even after he’d let go.

You took a long, drawn-out breath before asking him about the case. If anything, it was to calm you down.

“I’m guessing the deviants got away?” He nodded. “Any leads to go on?”

He fidgeted in his seat, his eyes darting about unnaturally. Well, for an android. You remembered how he’d behaved back at the tower when Hank asked him if there was anything else he’d noticed about Markus’ video. He’d been reluctant, unsure. You had no doubt that he knew something neither you nor Hank did.

Connors jaw tensed, the artificial muscles in his neck tightening.

“You do know something, don’t you?” You pressed lightly, shifting yourself over to him, careful not to slip off the bed.

“Markus was created by Kamski. A gift for a man called Carl Manfred.” He answered.

Surprised at learning this new information, you lurched forward a bit too quickly. Connor handed you a tablet that was sitting on your bedside, along with a cup of water. You took it thankfully, guzzling down the water as if the tablet would get to work faster that way.

“I knew Carl had Markus, but no idea that he was a gift from, well, _him_!”

 “You know Carl Manfred?” He asked, tilting his head curiously.

“Back when I was in an art group at uni, we used to display some of our work in a gallery they hired out for us. Carl attended on of the displays, and we got talking. Been friends ever since.”

“So, you knew Markus before it turned deviant?”

“Yeah, I did.”

God, those pills worked fast. You could feel the weight that had been pounding against your head lifting, as if someone had stopped slamming it against a wall. Connors gaze was fixed on your hands that were folded in your lap, but his mind was clearly elsewhere.

If Markus had something to do with the creator of Cyberlife, then perhaps that was something to investigate.

You perched your elbow on the bed arm closest to Connor, leaning your chin against it as you watched him think.

“Yah know, I’ve never actually seen another android with the same appearance as Markus…”

You watched Connor’s face hardened, as if he were digesting what you said.

“There aren’t any others of his model or appearance, are there?” You continued.

Connors eyes stayed fixed for a few moments, before they lifted to meet yours. He slowly shook his head.

“No, it’s unique.”

“Like you?” You asked rather coyly. Connor blinked a couple of times, watching you through his eyelashes.

“I-I suppose…” He mumbled, the corner of his mouth twitching.

You repositioned your head on balanced on your fist, feeling your wrist starting to strain thanks to its strange position.

“That must have some meaning, right? The only one of this kind, and he deviates with such conviction that he inspires others to follow him. Not even most humans could inspire something like that in such little time.”

Markus had done something extraordinary; he’d brought together other deviants and organised them in such a way, so they could get things done. Deviants that could no longer wait for the world to change around them, rather they wanted to proactively change the world themselves.

You were proud of him.

“Maybe you need to go back to the source.” You suggested, quirking an eyebrow.

Connor’s led spun blue as he tried to come up with a plan. Well, that’s what you assumed he was doing.

“Back to Kamski.”

“Exactly.” You agreed, giving him a grin. He gave you one back.

“When I figure out what to do next, I’d li- “

The screak of the door opening made Connor stop, both of you peering over to see who it was. The nurse poked his head through the door, giving you an apologetic look;

“Sorry Miss but, uh, visiting times’ over. I’m afraid your android will have to leave. I’ll give you some time to say goodbye.”

He gave you one last sheepish look, then quietly closed the door to let you finish up in peace.

Damn time limits.

“Thanks for coming around, I feel better already from you both coming to see me.”

Connor stood, fixing his jacket and tie out of habit. He made the whole situation feel like a business meeting had concluded rather than a hospital visit. Still, it was an entirely Connor thing to do.

“I’m glad to see you’re feeling better, I was worried when I saw you hurt like that. I hope we’ll see each other soon.”

He seemed to hesitate on the spot for a moment, his hands clenching and unclenching. You were about to ask him if everything was alright, until he drew that thought straight out of your mind by leaning forward and giving you a gentle yet firm kiss on the cheek.

Your heart skipped a beat, as his surprisingly soft lips lingered for longer than would be considered...platonic. You felt heat rise up your neck and across your cheeks.

When he pulled back, even he seemed a bit taken aback by what he’d just done. Meanwhile, you couldn’t help the stupid smile that spread across your face slowly. You had no doubt that it made you look a bit like a serial killer, but you couldn’t help it.

Connor cleared his throat;

“Ah, erm…I, uh…” He stuttered, making him look rather adorable as he struggled to get the words out that he wanted, “I-I’m sorry, that was…I just…”

You giggled. So much for not looking like a hormonal school-girl;

“Don’t be sorry about _that_. I…quite liked it. I really…I think I- I mean…you’re really sweet, Connor.”

_‘Ahh, lame response! Sounded like a bumbling 13 year old!’_

You wanted to say so much more, _do_ so much more, but your head ruled over your heart in that moment.

Connor seemed to change his tune after that, a slight smile tugging at his lips. Although his eyes still seemed to not match the rest of his face, as if something still troubled him.

You gave his hand a light squeeze;

“See you later, Connor.”

“I look forward to it.”

He gave you a wink.

 _God_ , you’d missed that…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another one uup!
> 
> And a bit of Connor action for you! Very fluffy but that's what i was going for :)
> 
> Hope you all enjoy it, and thanks for reading.


	32. Gazing at Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Promises are only as strong as the person who gives them ...'
> 
> ― Stephen Richards

After the buddy-cop duo left, the nurse gave you a once over before letting you know that you’d be able to leave in a few hours. You were just thankful that the injury wasn’t as bad as you thought.

“Although,” He drawled as he checked your head, “I’d much prefer it if you went to stay with someone else, in case of any problems. Don’t want you to be alone if you lose consciousness again.”

You could count on one hand how many people you could possibly bunk with. Make that half one hand. Then again, you weren’t really sure you knew them well enough to ask to stay with them. Basically, you had very little options.

“I’m not sure who I could ask…”

You hissed and flinched away from the nurse as he pressed against a particularly tender part of your head. He muttered a quiet apology in response but continued his work.

“Friends? Family nearby? Anyone you can trust?” He reeled off, you shrugged.

You were tempted to say Hank, but you weren’t sure either of you were ready for the shock to the system having you at his house would be. He did have a dog though, that gave him some brownie points. Theo had enough on his mind with Haven and university, plus he was a student. You shivered involuntarily as you recalled your own university flat. Urg. Not him, then.

Maybe you should call up Jericho and ask for sanctuary? Ha, no.

Then you remembered Jean Lyons. You didn’t know her super well, but it was worth a shot to ask her if she’d take you in. If not, you’d completely understand.

You turned to the nurse who was cleaning up after checking on your wound, finger tapping against your chin;

“Actually, I think I might know someone…”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jean sounded frantic when you told her where you were, you were barely able to get a word in edge ways. She reminded you of your mother when you’d once ended up in some unknown, barren place after a party. You’d called her up begging to be picked up, barely legible through your snotty nose and whiny tears. Thank the mobile gods for smart phones.

Jean insisted on picking you up, although you repeatedly said you’d get a cab. Wouldn’t take no for an answer.

It felt like you were a young girl again going to visit your grandparents; the fussing, the overload of biscuits and questions about whether you were warm enough. It brought back good memories of your childhood. Nathan pestered you for a bit about what happened, asking all sorts of questions as he stared with wide eyes. You weren’t about to tell him _exactly_ what happened, and so you just told him that you’d been in an accident.

He didn’t look like he believed you, but he didn’t ask again.

“You’ve been in the wars, then!” Jean joked, handing you a cup of warm milk. It always made you feel better when you were little, and once Jean asked you if you wanted a drink, you could think of no other that would make you feel better.

“Yeah, but thankfully it wasn’t too bad a cut. Otherwise I’d be out of commission for a while longer,” You gave her a warm smile, “Thanks for taking me in at such short notice, didn’t know who else to call…”

Jean watched over you, her eyes softened after what you said. It sounded rather _pathetic_ saying it out loud.

You flinched up as the word slipped into your thought, trying not to linger on it. It wasn’t a word you wanted to hear again. It brought back too many unwanted feelings and memories. Thankfully, you felt at ease in Jeans company, and your panic waned.

“Ah, don’t worry about it! I’m just glad you’re feeling better.” Jean waved off, giving you a large, joyful smile.

Nathan was currently sitting next to you, fiddling about with his stuffed dog toy. It seemed as though he’d gone all shy since you arrived at his house. You gave him a playful nudge;

“And how’ve you been? Have you been behaving?”

You managed to get a smile out of him, although he tried to hide it behind his toy;

“Yeah…”

You peered round to try and see his dipped face better, which only made his smile bigger;

“Have you been making new friends?”

At that question, he seemed to lose his shyness, his face lifting to give you a very rapid nod.

“A few, we sometimes go to each others-is housse to play. We even had a sleep over!”

“That’s good to hear! I knew you’d make friends easy, told you not to worry about it!”

Nathan gave you a toothy grin, then sat back into the sofa, crossed-legged with his toy. Jean hummed contently;

“He’s a very popular boy, but I had no doubt that he wouldn’t be.”

Nathan went beet-red, hiding his face again.

The three of you sat around the TV, watching whatever caught your fancy. Your headache did still plague you a fair bit but being with these two took your mind of it somewhat. It wasn’t so much what was on tv that interested you, but what the three of you talked about that made you relax.

Until Jean switched the channel over to CTN TV.

Currently, the news showed a reporter huddled into his jacket infront of a police barricade. You tried to get an idea where it was taking place, but it was hard to tell this time of night.

_“-heard it here first, we have confirmed reports of a large contingent of androids moving through the streets behind me with no clear objective. Could this possibly be the first sighting of a deviant group amassing together against their programming? That is- I’m sorry, I’ve just been notified that, uh, that some of said androids were in a Cyberlife store and are…erm…well, joining this group…”_

You just stared at the screen, somewhat awestruck at the sudden surge in activity Jericho had been doing these past few hours. First the news tower and now this! The footage that the news team had wasn’t something to write home about, but what they were saying made you take notice.

“So, they’re really doing this…” Jean breathed, eyes fixed on the screen. Even Nathan was taking notice, his curled-up form leaning forward towards the TV.

“Certainly, looks that way…” You mumbled.

The reporter pushed his earpiece closer to his ear, face scrunched as the wind blew unrelentingly against his face;

_“I have to apologise to our viewers about our lack of footage of the androids, we’re unable to get much footage of the group itself, but believe me when I say that they are moving with some sort of purpose, and as you can see, the police are attempting to block them off…”_

You bit your tongue, trying not to swear out loud. From what the reporter was saying, it sounded like the deviants were walking right into waiting guns. You felt rather powerless, knowing that whatever happens you could not stop it. You could almost imagine the crowd; Markus, Simon and Kay walking together as one with other androids. That was, if they were still alive.

The reporter was eventually shooed off by some of the officers nearby before he could conclude his report, and the feed turned back to the studio. It ended far too soon, you wanted more information.

“Why were they doing that?” Nathan asked, looking between you and his mother curiously.

“Well, I can’t speak for them, but I’d say it’s because…they want to be free.” Jean answered quietly, changing the channel to some drama.

Nathan frowned;

“Free from what?”

This conversation was going somewhere a bit difficult, and you had no idea how to start it or really what to say. Nathan seemed like he really wanted an answer, but he surprised you when he started tugging at your arm;

“Come see my room! I’ve got a super cool universe-thing, you need to see it!”

You couldn’t say that you weren’t thankful for not having to talk about android rights with an android child. Honestly, you weren’t sure how much he really knew about himself.

You gave a little wave at Jean (who gave you one back, along with a sorry look) as you were pulled through to Nathans room.

It was a small room, but large enough for a child his size to be able to play comfortably. Posters of various movies and games dotted the walls, along with the odd picture you guessed were Nathans own creation. Interestingly, unlike most children’s rooms, it was spotless. Perhaps it was down to him being an android, despite still acting very much like a human child. At least you weren’t about to step on any spiky toys anytime soon.

Nathan dragged you around the room, explaining every little toy and picture, letting you hold a paper-ache mask he’d made, and generally waffling about random stuff he found fun. Even if you didn’t get everything he was saying, you were happy that he was happy.

He eventually ended his tour, exhaling melodramatically as if the whole experience was exhausting. With him bouncing all over the place, you felt tired just watching him.

“So, what’s this universe thing you were talking about?” You queried, tilting your head down at him.

His smile spread across his face as he motioned towards the floor.

“I’m gonna turn out the lights, but it only works properly if you lie down on the floor, okay?”

Feeling like a kid again, you did as he asked, eyes focused on his dark blue ceiling. He sounded giddy as he tip-toed over to the door to close it and switched off the lights. He somehow made it over to you to lie down next to you, whilst your eyes were still trying to adjust to the sudden darkness. All you could see of him was the faint glow of his LED.

“Ready?” He whispered loudly. You giggled.

“Ready.”

You heard a click, and you audibly gasped as the entire room was filled with what you could only describe as space. Galaxies, stars, shooting stars. It all moved slowly, every so often a shooting star or meteor would whizz past. It was amazing, how come they didn’t have this when you were younger?

“Wow.” You laughed, reaching up as if to catch the stars that moved past you. It was childish, but you were in good company. Nathan joined you in grasping at the starts, giggling at the silliness of it.

After you both calmed down and lay silently in the quiet of the room, Nathan rolled his neck to face you.

“Why weren’t those androids on TV happy?”

Folding your hands over your stomach, you hummed in thought.

“Not all of them has the type of life you’ve got, Nathan. Some of them…well…some of them don’t feel safe.”

“…I know.” He sighed, turning back to gaze at the ceiling.

Nathans future was uncertain. It was one thing to be an android adult, but a whole other thing to be a child. Never growing up nor maturing. You weren’t sure you’d be able to cope with that if you were in Nathans shoes.

You peered over at him, watching his eyes dance across the lights and shapes.

“I think it would be good if humans and androids lived together normally. Cos, it’s not fair that we can’t do the same things you can.”

So, he did see himself as an android, but it looked like he put the fact that he was a child first. It was sad to know that he understood how much humans disliked him for just being an android.

“That would be nice, wouldn’t it?” You smiled as you continued to gaze up at the stars above you.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jean didn’t have a spare bed as it was made into Nathans room, so you were happy enough with sleeping on a blow-up bed you’d both found in a closet. It took you a while to get the thing sorted, as it was rather old and had mostly likely not been used for a long while.

After Nathan went to bed, you and Jean stayed up and discussed the rising interest in android rights and, of course, the android movement itself. You talked of Kay, of Hank and his incessant cursing, and of Connor. Jean spoke of her own dealing with anti-android groups, which apparently there was a large contingency of in this area.

Presently, you sat on your blow-up bed with Jean sitting in the armchair nearby, hot milk cupped in your palm. She seemed deep in thought, but troubled.

“Is something wrong? Are you okay?”

Jean paused, then sat forward in her seat. Her eyes held steady against yours;

“This might sound…strange, but may I ask you something important?”

You gave her a simple nod, encouraging her to continue.

“I won’t be around forever, and I know that Nathan will stay a young boy for a long times after I’m dead and gone. After I saw those androids protest, I knew that I had to think about his future.”

You furrowed your brow at her comment, but she held a hand up to stop you from arguing.

“He’ll be alone in a world that doesn’t like his kind, and you know that I would do anything to stop that from happening.”

You took a deep drink, the warm liquid warming up your insides. You had a good idea what she was going to ask you.

“I wouldn’t ask you this if I didn’t believe you would consider it. If something happens…would you look after Nathan for me?”

You swallowed;

“I-I…erm…” Your gaze dropped to the steaming, white of your mug.

“I know this is a bit out of the blue, and that we haven’t known each other for long, but I…I have no one else that would take him in.”

You thought of Nathan, alone; confused and scared. What happened in the near future was anyone’s’ guess, but you weren’t about to gamble Nathans safety just in case it went well.

After debating Jeans request over in your head, taking in the negatives and positives, you finally made your decision.

And it was a yes.

“R- _really_?” Her corners of her eyes began to tear-up. You nodded;

“I promise.”

Jean virtually leaped towards you, hugging you closely. It was a bit awkward on your end, what with you holding the mug out at arm’s length just in case. With your free arm, you hugged her back.

She whispered quiet thank you’s over and over into your ear as she rocked you both slightly.

You just hoped that you wouldn’t need to fulfil that promise any time soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some more Jean and NAthan, with a very slight mention of Capitol Park.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed, and as always many thanks for reading! :)


	33. Who can you Trust?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Only those you trust can betray you.'
> 
> ― Terry Goodkind

The number of messages that were waiting for you when you got home was staggering. What Markus had done had shaken the nation, and it had given hope to Haven. Since the march, more and more people had reported androids coming to them to get help. More members began to appear, more supporters. There was talk of building up a protest of sorts in support of Jericho, but nothing was completely finalised.

The spark of the revolution had turned into a slowly, growing flame.

And it was only going to get bigger.

Connor had contacted you, asking if you were alright. It was little things like that which made your heart sing. He even tried signing off with a smiley face, since he’d heard that that was a thing that humans did whilst messaging. Although, he admitted, he didn’t really understand why. Theo had, of course, heard of the whole debacle and phoned you up to ask you what it was like to be there at such an intense moment. It wasn’t until you told him that the ordeal wasn’t as amazing as he thought, and that you’d been _injured_  that he stopped asking so many random questions with little care for how you were. The whole thing got his mind in a spin, and you couldn’t blame him for being curious.

Popping one of your prescribed pills, you settled down with a coffee and got to work. By work, you meant writing about your experiences with deviants and androids alike. You had so many notes, so many thoughts and feelings floating about your head that you couldn’t help but write it all out. Perhaps you’d share it one day with others, but for now it was purely for you to express yourself, to get your feelings out.

You wrote until your fingers went numb and your eyes began to flicker from watching the screen for hours.

So, you turned your attention to painting.

With a sandwich in one hand and a brush in the other, you began to paint out all the feelings you’d had this last week. Inspiration came easy, as did bringing forward your emotions to aid it. It was a release, an escape from the stress and worry and anxiousness you’d been feeling. It also wasn’t a bad thing that they could help you out financially too, since you really needed it.

You were just trying to keep your mind busy, otherwise you would probably break.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Soo, when’s Jericho gonna tell us where they are, exactly?”

You let out a long, weary breath from your nose. Theo and you had been sitting a while, talking to one another through the messenger on Havens website. He was incredibly anxious to get things moving, but you had no authority to move it any faster than the speed it was currently going at.

“We just have to wait and see. If they tell us, they tell us. If they don’t? It’s not a huge deal.”

Theo leaned forward towards the camera, brows furrowed behind his fringe;

“You sure it isn’t? I mean, aren’t we supposed to be their allies or something?”

“We are, but it’s _their_ safe haven, not ours. It’s not our decision to make.”

Theo didn’t look totally convinced, but you didn’t want to argue with him about this. The relationship between Haven and Jericho was in its early stages and asking things such as that of them was not the way to go. Any slip-up, any lapses in trust could destroy it completely. Not only with Jericho as a whole, but also your relationship with Markus and Kay.

You raked a hand through your hair. Theos lack of response was exasperating.

“We’re doing the right thing, Theo. We can’t push them to do these sorts of things when they’re the ones that will get in the most trouble if things go wrong. You get what I’m saying?”

Theo sat back, arms crossed, his eyes averted towards the celling in childish protest. Both of you sat in silence, as you waited for him to quit being a child and listen to reason. He finally relented, looking back down at you through the camera. He was stubborn, but he wasn’t stupid. Maybe just a bit overzealous.

“Yeah, I get yah, I get yah. It’s just- It feels like we’re doing so much for them and they just don’t seem to…”

His words faltered, although he waved his hands about as if you were both suddenly playing charades. You decided to finish for him;

“Care? They do care about what we’re doing. If they began to spread the word of Haven, do you really think that would be a good thing? Do you really want everyone to know about our group? The police would be all over us, and we’d be in some deep-fuckin-shit!” You half-joked, though it wasn’t so out-there to see it happening.

Theo’s mouth twitched.

“True, that wouldn’t be the best start to my future career…I guess we just have to keep on truckin’, try our best and hope it works out, huh?”

You grinned at him, pointing a finger at him through the screen;

“Exactly.”

You just hoped your outward enthusiasm sunk in. Only time would tell if that were the case.

After your chat with Theo you pottered around the house, your mind filled with ideas and possible scenarios that could possibly happen in the future. You glanced every so often at the portrait you had made of Connor. You tried to stop yourself from being too critical of it, which was a bit of a curse. No matter how much you worked on a piece nor how many people commented on it positively, you’d always begin to dislike the art as the days went on. Maybe it was because of the subject, but this time you rather liked what you had created. Now all you needed to do was find a frame and a space to put it up…

 It wasn’t until mid-afternoon, as you were painting in the Artscape, that a message from Kay dinged and popped up in front of you.

 

\- Able to help again? Did so well last time, thought you might want to try again. –

 

You couldn’t help but snort at his message. He didn’t mention the Stratford Tower incident, he just got on with business.  You tapped the message and began typing out a reply within the virtual reality;

 

-I could feel the sarcasm _leaking_ through the screen. Of course, I’ll help. Btw, glad you’re alright, I was worried. You do realise I had no idea if you were alive or dead, right? –

 

-Sorry, sorry should have messaged you after. You do worry too much, though.  _Seriously._ –

 

_Seriously?_

Urg.

As before, he gave you a location and a time, before disappearing off the messenger like a ghost in the machine. Last time, you felt like you didn’t do much, that you were a witness rather than an instigator. This time you’d push yourself to help in any way you could, no matter the dangers. That’s what it meant to be a part of Haven.

Hopefully, it might gain you and Haven more rep with Jericho, if all goes well. The connection between the two groups was only strengthened by acts such as this, and so you were going to do your best to prove to them that Haven was truly there to help.

Changing your outfit into something more suitable, you counted down the time until you had to leave.

The waiting was always the hardest part.

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You drove past the busy streets, past shopping areas and parks until you reached the outskirts of the city. The buildings turned more and more grey and less impressive as you reached an industrial area. At this time of day, some of the buildings were filled with workers, mainly androids, moving about goods and taking stock.

Checking your GPS again, you turned into a street and parked adjacent to the pavement, pressed between two large trucks that dwarfed your tiny car. The steady trickle of rain felt refreshing against your skin as you stepped out into the chilly air. In truth, you were putting off moving for a second until you calmed your nerves down somewhat.

With one last deep breath, you started to stride towards the location where Kay had asked you to meet with him.

Unlike the last meeting, the area here was a lot more cold and desolate. Despite the noise of machinery echoing around the park, it felt very isolating walking alone. The odd worker passed by you but made no curious looks as you walked passed.

_‘Pretend as though you belong, and no-one will ask questions…’_

 Despite that, you still felt on-edge as you walked. Perhaps it was the silence that made you jumpy, or the very idea of what you were doing and the possible ramifications of being caught. Whatever it was, it made a shiver run up your spine.

Checking your phone, you followed the map until you reached a more abandoned area of the industrial park. The noise of drilling and creaking machines was behind you now, the sound of seagulls cawing overhead drowning out everything else. This building was smaller than a number of the ones you’d passed; a faded sign hung over the main door read, ‘_ohns_n & Co’. Some of the letters had faded away over time from a lack of care, which told you that this place was long since abandoned. That didn’t help your nerves one bit.

Taking one last glance over your shoulder, you stepped cautiously through the old, metal door.

The dust that hit your nose as you entered made your face twitch, but you held your arm up to try and stop yourself from sneezing. Didn’t want Kay nor the android to freak-out from the sudden noise. That would be rather embarrassing.

Carefully, you stepped through what looked like an abandoned warehouse. Boxes of metal parts were left where they had been laid long ago, leaves from years gone by sat cluttered in colourful piles, pushed up against objects where they were blown. One of the large bay doors on the other side was partially open, which solved the mystery as to how the leaves got in in the first place. You couldn’t help but wonder what this place looked like when it was up and running.

A light tapping of shoes on metal made you jump, a hand pressed to your speeding heart. Thankfully it was only Kay standing there with a backpack, having reached the bottom of some metal stairs. He looked like he wanted to laugh, but he managed to keep it together.

“Sorry, didn’t think you’d be spooked so easily.” He gave you a cheeky smile, and you jogged over to give him a tight hug. He smelt of a mix of sea air and rust.

“I’m so glad you’re alright, after what happened at the news tower I thought something might have happened…” You trailed off.

Kay shrugged, but he looked somewhat sorry for himself.

“I’m fine, don’t worry. I’m… sorry about what happened, If I’d known you’d be there I’d have- “

Sick of hearing everyone and their grandmother apologising for what happened, you rolled your eyes. You didn’t like lingering on the incident any more than you already had, and so you weren’t about to let Kay drag you both down into a depressing hole.

You punched Kay playfully in the arm, making him look at you with mild confusion. The old, slightly-baffled-at-your-behaviour Kay was still alive and kicking it seemed.

“What happened, happened okay? None of it was your fault, and I’m alright, so let’s stop moping ‘bout it. I’m here to help, so let’s get to work, shall we?”

He smiled, fixing his faux leather jacket before he turned back the way he’d come;

“Follow me upstairs, they're waiting for us.”

Following his lead, you made your way up the stairs towards what you guessed was an office for whatever business this had been. The room was rather large and had obviously been what you thought it was. A large, dusty desk sat off to the side, its seat lay sideways next to it. There was a door off to your left, and a large window that seemed to have a fire escape outside it. Beside the table, the room was pretty much bare.

Kay walked out into the centre of the room, turning this way and that as if he were looking for someone.

“It’s alright, you can come out now. It’s a friend.”

There was a pregnant silence, until the mystery door opened to reveal two androids. They looked a little worse for wear; their clothing dirty and ripped from long exposure to the outdoors. Both looked around anxiously, their eyes stuck to you when they noticed you were a human. You held your hands up innocently, giving them a welcoming smile.

“I’m not here to hurt either of you, I’m with Haven. Kay and I will get you to safety.”

The woman still looked a little unsure, but the man eventually smiled back at you with a nod. That was all you needed.

Kay swung his bag around and began to pull out various items of clothing. The deviants quickly began to pull off and pull on jackets, trousers and boots as they attempted to look less like androids on the run and more like an everyday citizen. You waited patiently, although you were anxious to get away from this dismal place as soon as possible.

“Aren’t you a bit curious as to why I asked you to come?” Kay asked, leaning his side against the wall.

Come to think of it, you were a bit puzzled as to why you were here.

“I knew you had to be all hush-hush about it, but when I realised it was way out here, I _was_ a bit curious.”

“Well, Markus, Simon and I had a talk. We discussed the pros and cons, and we concluded that you should be privy to the location of Jericho. It wasn’t something we agreed to lightly, even though I was always on board with the idea.”

Your eyes went wide, and you couldn’t help but chuckle in shock;

“Your absolutely serious about this?”

He shrugged nonchalantly;

“Yep.” He replied, making a popping sound with his mouth at the ‘p’. He made it sound like you asked if he’d taken out the trash or something.

You rolled your eyes;

“You know, you saying that has really killed the magic of this moment. Thanks.”

Kay snorted, shaking his head at you incredulously. The two androids looked rather baffled at this banter the two of you were having. If you were in their shoes, you’d understand why.

“So, does that mean the rest of Haven can-?” You left the question hanging, waiting for Kay’s response. Hopefully a positive one.

Instead, his face hardened;

“No, unfortunately. It’s too much of a risk to let that many _humans_ know about our safe spot,” He raised an eyebrow, his face softening to amusement, “No offence.”

You shrugged. At least you tried.

“None taken. But, thank you for this, you won’t regret it.”

Well, sometimes you had to start with small steps. It _was_ a huge safety concern to let so many people in on the location, but you felt a sense of pride at being the first human to know. As the androids got sorted, Kay stayed close and told them what to do once they left the safety of the building. The plan was for the four of you to drive to the outskirts of Jericho, then walk the rest of the way there. It was apparently a bit of a treacherous path to Jericho, for a human anyway. After noticing your face drain of colour, Kay promised he’d help you get there in one piece.

It was all going rather well, until Kay suddenly stopped dead as you were about to leave the office. He held out a hand to stop the deviants, his eyes wide with concern. He reminded you of a deer in headlights.

“Kay? What’s wrong?” You queried, watching his jaw tense. You’d not seen him this on edge since the incident with Liam. It made your hair stand on end.

You got your answer when the door behind you swung open and a familiar figure appeared in the doorway.

Your heart dropped.

 

“ _Connor_?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh! Cliffhanger!
> 
> Sorry to keep you hanging, but it will be a few days until the next one. :/
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	34. Mercy for the Troubled and the Wrathful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Our lives are not our own,from womb to tomb we are bound to others. With each crime, and every act of kindness we birth our future'
> 
> \- Sonmi-451 (Cloud Atlas)

A strange heaviness filled the room like a pool of ink, like an immovable shroud had descended amongst the five of you, chocking the air and keeping you in place. Within seconds, the entire feel of the room had changed.  

Connor stood frozen as he blocked the doorway, eyes flickering wildly between you and Kay. He looked as unsure about this situation as you were. At least, that was the emotion you thought was running through his mind.

“ _You brought him here_?” Kay hissed into your ear, venom dripping from every syllable.

You shook your head in complete disbelief, your words stuttering out of your mouth as your jaw shook;

“No…no, he must have…”

You turned back to Connor, fists clenched tightly at your side. You didn’t want to believe it, but from what you could tell, it seemed to be as clear as crystal.

“Did you…follow me here?”

Connors eyes fell, his entire frame tensing at your question. Without saying a word, you knew the answer to your own question.

“…yes.”

_‘fucking, fuck, fuck...’_

Kay tried to pull you back to him by your jacket, but you shrugged him off a bit too harshly. It was a stupid question to ask, but hearing Connor admit it made it concrete. It _hurt._ Perhaps you trusted him too much, especially knowing how good he was at persuading people. Maybe he’d been nice to you purely to get under your skin, knowing just how much you agreed with the pro android cause. You’d be a perfect instrument for the downfall of android rights.

All sorts of conclusions ran through your head as you stared at him. Now you wondered which of them were true.

You watched as Connor stepped carefully towards you like one would a cornered, wild animal.

His LED blinked yellow to red rapidly, indicating that his stress level was rising.

“I went to see you at your flat, to see if you were feeling better, but I noticed you leaving rather quickly before I had the chance to talk to you. I wanted to make sure you were alright…so I followed.”

So, he wasn’t here because of your meeting with deviants, he was simply worried. He was curious as to where you were going. Well, that’s why he initially came here, but with the deviants being _right_ there? That could change.

You heard Kay scoff loudly behind you, eager to make his disbelief known;

“You’re not going to just take his word for it are you? Tell me you’re not!” Kay’s sudden outburst made you tense up, feeling the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. You’d never heard him so angry before.

Letting out a shaky sigh as you tried to calm your nerves, you glanced at Kay out of the corner of your eye;

“He said that he – “

“I _know_ what he said. I told you that you shouldn’t associate with him, now look what’s happened!” Kay snapped back at you, his teeth bared.

His anger was completely directed at you now, and you felt yourself bristle. How could he just turn on you like that, after all you’d been through together?

At your lack of response, Kay began to back away slightly from you, shaking his head.

“Are you really trusting him over _me_?” Kay sounded disturbed at the very idea.

Connor’s eyes flickered with a slight glare over at Kay after his comment, but they quickly made their way back to you. Unfortunately, the glare didn’t fade from his face.

“I didn’t expect you to be helping deviants so…directly.” He commented, his face hardening.

Great, now _he_ didn’t trust you.

You were stuck between a rock and a hard place, both sides unwilling to trust the other and, apparently, you. It was the deviants that seemed to be suffering the most from this argument, both huddling terrified in the corner. For their sake, you needed this situation to resolve itself soon.

“You knew what my thoughts were about deviants, Connor. Is it so difficult to believe that I’d be actively helping them?”

Connors frown deepened, although he looked more confused than angry.

“You were actively _helping_ our investigation, that seems to contradict what you’re doing now. I don’t understand – “

“Whose side are you actually on, Alex!?” Kay interrupted harshly.

You flinched.

His words stung; how could he ask you that? You were risking a lot to help deviants, and here he was believing that you were some sort of double agent or something?

You opened your mouth to retaliate, when the shrill droning of police sirens stopped you in your tracks.

You hissed in a sharp breath.

_‘Fuck.’_

The room went silent, heads darting about like terrified rabbits as everyone tried to pin-point which direction it was coming from. The echoing made it difficult, and it made everyone even more anxious.

This whole situation just got a whole lot worse.

Kay suddenly snapped, and he tried to push his way past you to get to Connor. You grabbed Kay’s upper arm tightly, holding him in back from Connor before he could lash out at him. He didn’t try to wrestle you off, so he still didn’t want to harm you despite his apparent distrust. That was something, at least.

It didn’t stop him from lashing out at Connor verbally, however;

“You _fuck_! You’ve brought them right to us!” He spat, lunging towards the now startled android. You tried to calm Kay down with gently whispered words, but his temper had reached boiling point.

It was difficult to calm him down when your own anger was rising at the thought of Connor actually doing this. He told you that he only came here to see if you were okay. Connor wouldn’t do this, _would he_?

You hissed his name through gritted teeth;

“Connor…”

“I didn’t bring them here, I came alone. They must have- they must have tracked me here or followed me. You have to trust me on this. I had no intention of bringing anyone else with me, I swear!”

Connors steady look seemed to stare directly into your soul, pleading for you to have faith in him. His was not the face of a man, an android, who was lying.

He was telling the truth.

Kay was still in no mood to trust Connors word, although he was no longer poised to lunge at him. The sirens were getting closer, and your time was running out.

Kay pulled his arm from your grip, his face twisted into a sneer;

“If you’re as _empathetic_ as Alex said, then you’ll let us leave. Either way, I’m going to leave this place with the deviants _alive_.”

The screech of car brakes over concrete made your heart race.

You stepped carefully towards Connor. You were going to try and come clean with him.

“I’m sorry I lied to you about this, all of this, but I didn’t know how you’d react. I-I was afraid of what might happen…”

The sound of slamming doors bounced around the empty yard outside, which was closely followed by various raised voices. You needed to be quick.

“But I’ve always trusted you, Connor. With my life as well as others. I could never lie about that. You’ve saved countless deviants before; what’s the difference now?”

Kay and the deviants behind you began to get restless, but you stood your ground in front of Connor. You’d seen him do it before, and you knew that he could do it again.

 His LED flickered between yellow and red, until it eventually relaxed into blue.

You let out a sigh of relief, but the situation was far from over.

Connor moved his gaze towards Kay, his eyes determined;

“If you take that fire escape behind you, you’ll be able to escape round the back of the building away from the police. Keep moving west until you clear the immediate area. I will…distract them for you.”

Kay looked confused, stuttering out various incomprehensible words at Connors response. It seemed like he didn’t expect Connor to help, and now that he was choosing to Kay didn’t know how to react. He finally seemed to shake out of his daze after you gently touched his arm. With that, he gave Connor a nod;

“Connor-…Thank you.”

After offering you a stiff smile, Kay turned and began to work on the window. His lack of a proper goodbye to you made your chest tighten uncomfortably.

You didn’t know what to say, so you simply followed Connor down the stairs, but not before taking one last look at Kay and his charges. He seemed to still be annoyed at you somewhat but given some time you knew he would calm down. Eventually. He was, after all, rather stubborn.

Hopefully you and Connor would be able to convince whoever was downstairs that it was just a false alarm. Once you reached the door that led to the yard, Connor gave you one last look. Taking a few deep breaths, you steadied yourself for what (or rather who) was on the other side of the door.

After giving him a firm nod, Connor pushed open the door.

You hoped against hope that it would be Hank waiting for you, instead it was a man you’d never seen before. At least, you _thought_ you hadn’t…

Several officers were milling around outside the building, and they all seemed to be waiting for you two to exit. As soon as you both stepped out the main door, the unknown man wordlessly ordered for two officers to enter the building with a flick of his fingers. You shivered when you noticed the guns they held at their sides. You hoped that Kay and the others moved their asses, and quickly.

The man who gave the order stepped forward. He stood out from the others, wearing a suit rather than a uniform like the others were. His face seemed to be perpetuality stuck in a frown, a mask of indifference that unnerved you somewhat. He held himself tall, hands clasped behind his back. He wanted you to know that he was in charge.

A shiny badge swung from around his neck in the sharp, biting breeze. His piercing eyes met yours. He sniffed;

“So, you’re the one that has been causing so much trouble recently.”

After you failed to say anything, he let out a deep sigh before dipping his hand into his breast pocket. He flipped out his ‘FBI’ ID badge, before quickly pocketing it again. You hardly had the chance to read the damn thing.

“Special Agent Richard Perkins, FBI. And you must be…Miss Alexandria Vale.” He paused for a moment, before glaring down at you with more vigour than before, “Care to explain what you were doing at this location, _Miss Vale_?”

You had been thinking of a good alibi as soon as you left the office. You wouldn’t usually admit it, but you weren’t a bad liar. Years of disliking going to dance class and driving lessons taught you how to lie quite well. Then again, this was a whole, other level.

You had to put your acting shoes on and sell him a story as if it were the complete and utter truth. Easier said than done, especially with how uneasy he was making you.

 You hoped that Connor was on your side for this, otherwise you were screwed.

“I was previously aiding Lieutenant Anderson on his investigation into deviant cases. I’d heard there was a possible sighting out here, so I came here to find out.” You replied in the most pleasantly professional tone you could muster.

Perkins raised an eyebrow. He didn’t look impressed.

“You’re no longer a part of the investigation…yet you still went out to ‘investigate’. That’s not a wise decision, is it?”

Your teeth dug into your cheek in annoyance as you bit back a curse. It seemed that he would be harder to convince than you thought.

Perkins crossed his arms over his chest, gaze still drilling into your own;

“I suppose, neither was your involvement in the Stratford Tower incident. I have to say, you are treading on some very _, shaky_ ground, Miss Vale.”

That’s where you’d seen him, the tower! It was a passing glance, but you recognise his face however vaguely. You remember hearing Hank grumbling about him as you searched the tower, but you didn’t take much notice since you had no idea who ‘Prickins’ was. Of course, _he_ had to be the one to come out here. Just your luck.

Wait- did he just _threaten_ you?

“I’m telling you the truth, Mr Perkins. Whether you agree with my decisions or not isn’t the issue here, is it?”

His jaw tensed as he scowled down at you. You were beginning to get on his nerves, and you had to admit, you were enjoying it.

“ _Are_ you telling the truth? Given your views on android rights, it’s reasonable to assume that you came here to _help_ them, not stop them.”

He spat the word ‘help’ like it was a foreign concept.

“I can attest to Miss Vale’s account…” Connor suddenly interceded, his voice sounding more robotic than usual.

Perkins made a notion with his hand for Connor to continue, although he didn’t look too pleased about it.

“I followed her when I noticed that she left rather quickly from her flat. When I arrived here, I witnessed two possible deviants escaping from the building we just exited. Miss Vale attempted to follow them, but I stopped her in case she would be injured. We then proceeded to investigate the building.”

“And where did they go?” He asked rather rudely, punctuating each word as if Connor were stupid. Despite this, Connor showed no change in his tone or demeanour.

“They headed east, towards the junk yard over there,” Connor motioned in said direction, “By the time I reached Miss Vale they were almost out of sight, and so they got away before I could give chase.”

Maybe it was because he was an android, but every word he just said sounded like the truth. Connor had _lied_ for them, he’d _saved_ them. He even directed the police in the complete opposite direction to where Kay and the others went. Outwardly you remained composed, but inside you were jumping for joy.

Connor had nailed it.

Well, _you_ thought that he did.

Perkins lip curled;

“You worked closely with her, how do I know that you’re just covering her tracks?”

As smooth as melted butter, Connor replied;

“I am not programmed to lie to aid criminal actions, nor to impede my prime directive. I have been built for the purposes of investigation on the side of the law, so it is not in my design to perpetuate fallacies that would halt the investigation process.”

Perkins seemed to think on what Connor said, before he finally backed down.

“Alright.” He stepped closer until he was right up in your face, “But if I hear about you doing this sort of shit again, I’m taking you in. Is. That. Clear, Miss Vale?”

You swallowed.

“Perfectly.”

Giving you both one last look, he turned to issue orders to the remaining officers. Some of them went off on a wild goose chase towards the junkyard, whereas he and those left made their way into the building. Judging by the fact that nothing had been said about deviants yet, you assumed that Kay and the others managed to escape.

Things had gone far better than you expected.

You turned to look up at Connor, watching as fresh snow began to settle into his dark hair. He stood there watching the officers leave, his Adams apple bobbing as he swallowed deeply. You couldn’t help but stare for a moment. This android, this _man_ , had done so much for so little. He was willing to do things that could get him in serious trouble, and yet he still did it.

What he’d done, you could never repay.

But you’d like to try.

When his dark chocolate eyes met yours once more, you knew what that feeling in your chest had been these last few days.

You smiled.

“Let’s go home.”

Connor didn’t object nor correct you.

You had said it without thinking, but it felt right saying it to him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to leave you hanging last chapter, so I hope you'll all like this one :)
> 
> For all the kudos, views and comments; thank you!


	35. What it Means to Feel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart'
> 
> ― Helen Keller

The drive back to your flat was one of silence. Every now and then, either Connor or you would make random small talk as if trying to fill in the quiet gaps with something, anything. It was a strange sort of feeling sitting there with him; as it wasn’t entirely awkward nor was it entirely comfortable. The high you’d been on seemed to have vanished, replaced with a feeling that dragged you down into a sense of uneasiness.

By the time you got into your flat and hung up your jacket, it almost felt like none of the events that happened earlier actually happened. Like it was some sort of strange dream that you’d woken up from. Except it had happened, and now Connor was here and you were unsure about your current relationship with him.

Connor stood off to the side, hands clenching and unclenching as he watched you tidy up. You hadn’t said a word to him since you arrived, instead trying to busy yourself. It only seemed to make you feel worse, however. You both needed to talk about what was said earlier, but you were scared about what might happen as a result.

You were scared of losing _him_.

You made comments about this and that as you worked, looking over at Connor every now and again for some sort of comment. You tried to improve the atmosphere somewhat, but it didn’t seem to work at all. He remained silent, a frown plastered on his face.

Connors lack of, well, anything was beginning to get on your nerves somewhat, especially as he was watching you silently the entire time. You wanted him to say something, anything. Talk to you, shout at you, show some sort of emotion. It didn’t help that the pain in your head had been steadily getting worse this last while.

You were tired, in pain, and all sorts of emotions were racing through you. It was only a matter of time before you snapped.

Gripping tightly onto the edge of the counter-top, your knuckles turned white. You glared at the wall, feeling anger bristle inside you.

Your hands came down to slam against the counter, making Connor flinch.

“Connor, just…say _something_!”

“I-I…” He blinked rapidly, shifting his weight between each foot. He looked like a scolded child, his posture defeated and his eyes downcast.

Your chest ached seeing him like that.

You immediately regretted speaking to him so harshly, turning all your negative emotions onto him. After all, you hadn’t exactly been forthcoming with him either. You pressed the palm of your hand hard against your head as you murmured curses under your breath.

“I’m…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound so…-“

The silence between you returned, with only the low hum from outside noise filling in the gaps. That was until Connor broke it;

“You lied to me.”

The words pierced you sharply somewhere deep within your chest. You never wanted to lie to him, but it was necessary to keep the deviants safe. To keep Kay safe. It hurt to do it and you understood why he was angry.

You swallowed deeply;

“I did.”

“I trusted you.”

You spared a glance over at him before returning to stare at the wall.

“As I did you.”

The two refused to look at one another; Connors gaze was set on his shoes, whilst yours was focused on your hands. It was as if both of you could will the other away by simply not looking. It was childish, and not at all productive.

Eventually, you moved away from the counter and walked over to Connor. There was no point in dragging this out any longer, you wanted to mend the damage that had been caused. The idea of Connor distrusting you made your stomach drop, so you weren’t about to let it happen now. Not after everything.

“I can understand if you can’t trust me anymore, but I want you to know that _I_ still trust you. I…I don’t want you to leave thinking that I don’t. I always will. If you can’t believe anything I’ve said so far, please, believe in that.”

Connor slowly shifted his eyes back to your own. A part of you wanted to look away, feeling somewhat on the spot, you continued to maintain eye contact with him. His gaze was rather mesmerising, how it seemed to draw you in and keep you hostage.

You continued;

“You’ve saved my life countless times, as well as others. I’ve been nothing but useless during your investigation, but-”

“You’re not useless.” Connor interrupted quietly, sounding quite shocked at how you described yourself.

You stood, blinking at him dumbly for a couple of seconds before turning away to work on making some coffee. The increasing unsteadiness of your heart was becoming hard to ignore.

You scratched the side of your neck, your mouth twitching upward;

“W-well, erm…thank you.”

The words haphazardly fell from your mouth.

A small smile graced Connors face;

“And…I do trust you.”

You couldn’t help but break out into a proper smile, but it wavered once you remembered what Connor had learned about you, about you helping deviants. You didn’t want to ask, but you needed to know.

“What are you going to do now that you know about my involvement with deviants?” You asked, watching his expression carefully.

He didn’t respond straight away, making you somewhat uneasy at the prospect of him turning you in. But you trusted him, and so you let those negative feelings leave your mind.

Connor shook his head.

“Nothing.”

You raised a curious eyebrow at him;

“Nothing?”

“I can understand your reasoning, and I know that others won’t look kindly on what you’re doing. I don’t want to see you get arrested, or hurt, or…- “He swallowed, his LED flickering red for a split second, “It goes against my programming, but I can’t…”

You gave his hand a tight squeeze, holding it for a few moments longer than was necessary. Without words, the two of you calmed one another with a simple gesture. And just like that, the topic was dropped.

For now, anyway.

You busied yourself with making the coffee, aware that Connor had moved closer as if to watch you make it more closely. Then again, he seemed to be more focused on you. Wordlessly, he handed you a spoon, your fingers grazing over one another ever so lightly but entirely on purpose. You weren’t sure if he knew what such a simple thing did to you, or if it even affected him. Despite his closeness and the lack of conversation, you found it comforting.

Once you finished you turned, leaning back against the counter to face Connor properly.

“Thank you, by the way, for what you did back there. For Kay and the others. If you hadn’t done what you did, I don’t know what would have happened…” You pulled the mug up to your face, “Well, actually, I have a pretty good idea what would have happened.”

You frowned as you took a sip.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

Connor mirrored your facial expression as his eyes drifted away from your own.

“…I…” Connor paused, his LED spinning yellow. “I’m not sure.”

“Do you think, maybe, you felt some sort of empathy towards them?”

He seemed to tense at the thought.

“I…I’m a machine, created to fulfill a purpose. Androids can’t feel.”

Even he sounded unsure of himself, as if the words coming out of his mouth were not his own.

You tilted your head to the side, giving him a half-smile;

“Well, whatever your reason, I’m glad you chose not to.”

Connor’s mood seemed to lift somewhat, although he still looked troubled by something. Despite all he’d been through, he was still trying to cling to the idea that he was simply a machine. The cracks were showing though, and you believed that it was only a matter of time before he realised what he really was.

He just needed that slight nudge to help him see. Hell, he might just figure himself out on his own.

You just wanted to show him just how important his very _existence_ was to you.

When you noticed the snow fall drift past the window in a curtain of white, you had an idea.

You plopped down your mug behind you, and gently took Connors hand in yours.

“Come with me.”

He made no move to stop you as you pulled him through the hall and into your bedroom until you reached the small veranda that was attached to it. Sliding the door with your free hand, you stepped out and into the evening air. It was just big enough to fit you both in, as much of it was surrounded by Kays plants.

The wind was non-existent, making the snow fall straight down from the sky. From here, Detroit looked rather lovely blanketed by snow.

You lifted Connors hand out under the fall of the snow, unfurling his fingers until his hand was flat out. You did the same, your hand held out close to his own.

“…what are we doing?”

Connors utterly confused question made you chuckle softly.

“Can you feel the snow on your hand?” You asked.

Connors face scrunched up in confusion. He flexed his fingers, watching as the flakes landed and melted on his artificial skin.

“Yes?”

“What does it feel like?”

His thumb rubbed across his palm.

“Wet. Cold. Slightly tingly as it first touches dry skin…”

You turned and twisted your own outstretched hand, feeling the snow dance across your skin.

“That’s what I feel.”

Connor retracted his hand and stared at it a moment.

“I don’t understand where you’re going with this…”

You sighed;

“I was trying to be metaphorical. Basically, what I’m trying to say is that, we aren’t so different; Androids and humans. We both feel, we think, we learn. The only difference is what we’re made of.”

Connor stood there quietly, his LED spinning yellow.

It was one thing telling him, and so you wanted to show him.

“You can feel this, right?”

You gently took his non-wet hand in yours, brushing your thumb across his palm and over his wrist. His skin was incredibly smooth, you were a bit jealous with how flawless it was. As your hand trailed up his wrist, his own fingers brushed against the underside of your arm. You shivered involuntarily.

“Yes.”

Your other hand went to his chest, placing your palm underneath his tie to feel the thrum of his thirium pump. Your own heart rate quickened as you felt his pump speed up under your hand. His breath caught in his throat, and your eyes were immediately drawn to his slightly opened lips. You’d never seen him so flustered before.

“…and this?”

“…yes…” He breathed.

“But can you _feel_ it?”

You stepped closer to him until you had to look up to see his face. You’d gone too far to back out now, but from how Connor was reacting, you didn’t want to stop.

Your gaze fluttered over his lips, biting your own instinctually;

“And thi- “

Your words were swallowed by Connors lips pressing ever so gently against your own. You went still for a moment, surprised at his confidence. His hands slowly reach up to grip your waist gently, as if you were made of glass. He was tentative, unsure. Then again, so were you. You’d been with men before, which unfortunately included Liam, but never with an android. This was entirely new territory for both of you. Your hand came up to gently cup his jaw, before slowly moving up to thread your fingers through his short hair.

When the warmth of him left your lips, you found it hard to open your eyes through the haze of the moment. His own eyes were lidded, mouth slightly open.

“I-I don’t know what…”

He went quiet when both your hands cupped his jaw, and you pressed the tip of your nose against his own. He seemed to get the gist as his face tilted towards you once again.

This kiss was more confident, his mouth pressing against your own with more vigour. Your arms went to tug him closer as they curled around his shoulders, and he brought you closer by wrapping his arms around you completely. You gripped one another as if either one of you would vanish, as if you were the only things keeping you grounded to the earth.

Nothing in that moment mattered besides the two of you as the kiss became more desperate. As if both of you had been aching for this moment. As if this were the first and only moment.

You broke off, breathing deep as you rested your cheek against his own. He pressed his lips to your jaw, shivering as you felt his breath against your neck. His hands retracted from around you to rest on your hips, yours holding onto the bend of his elbow. You swore that if he wasn’t holding you, you’d probably be staggering about. Not the most attractive thing after a moment like that, so you were thankful.

You felt his mouth twist into a smile against your skin.

“And _that_?” He breathed.

Your head fell to his shoulder, grinning into the fabric as your face heated up. God damn it he was smooth.

“I guess that’s a yes, then.”

A warmth spread through your body as you raised your face to give him a peck on the lips.

“In more ways than one.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has begun! 35 chapters of waiting! :D
> 
> Some fluff with Connor is what we all need :)
> 
> Thank you everyone for reading


	36. Quiet Talks and Butterfly Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Nothing in this world was more difficult than love.'
> 
> ― Gabriel García Márquez

You were in a strange, mesmerised state after what had transpired. Everything seemed to be that bit brighter, that bit more vivid. It felt like your entire body was wrapped in a warm blanket, you felt safe. You didn’t want the moment to end.

You reached up to fix his suit and straighten tie, smoothing it down until it was sitting perfectly in line with his buttons. Connor simply watched as your hands danced over his upper body, both of you content in the silence.

You rested one of your hands against his chest after you’d finished.

“I didn’t go too far, did I?”

You were afraid that Connor had just let you kiss him because _you_ wanted it, not because he felt something for you. The idea that he was just following your lead to please you made you uneasy.

“No, no you didn’t.”

Feeling your anxiety subside, you gave him a kiss on the chin, and he smiled above you.

The dynamic between you had been completely turned on its head in the space of a few minutes. You weren’t sure what exactly it was now, but whatever it was you were enjoying it.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

You blathered about this thing and that as you tried to fix up the couch to look more presentable for company. Considering you hardly had anyone over in a long while, you were getting a bit rusty about keeping up your flat. Connor tried to help, listening quietly as you babbled.  You spent the next few hours or so just talking; your body angled towards him, head resting on the back of the couch. He asked you about your work, university, your love of Italian food. The usual fluff you’d discuss with someone you wanted to know better about. It was as if he was cataloguing everything about you; every quirk, every love and hate you had. When you fired the questions his way, he had little to say. Since the day he was created, he had only really known and seen so little of the world. He knew _of_ certain things, but more often than not, that was the extent of it.

“Have you ever seen the ocean before, Connor?” You asked, curling yourself up into the sofa, surrounding yourself amongst your aging pillows.

“No I haven’t…”

You smiled dreamily, remembering every holiday and trip you’d had by the sea. It had to be one of you favourite places on earth to go. You shuffled rather undainty-like towards Connor until your knees grazed against his thigh.

“I’ll take you someday, you’d love it. Just this…endless blue. It would have to be someplace hot, with a gold beach…”

Your words drifted off as you imagined it inside your head. He was such a visual person, so you could just imagine the awe on his face

 You wanted to show him so much, to travel to so many different places.  

It was a shame that many people wanted to do everything in their power to stop that from happening.

Connor hummed, and you took that moment to cuddle yourself into him. He stiffened for a brief moment, before his body relaxed.

“Or maybe somewhere abroad, that would be nice…”

That’s if he was even allowed to do such a thing. To Cyberlife, he was simply a tool that was created to fulfil a mission. He had no purpose outside of what he was originally intended for.

But he was so much more than that.

You stroked a finger down and over his LED, still amazed at how human-like his skin felt under your own;

“You deserve to be happy, Connor.”

He frowned, and your smile dropped, “What’s wrong?”

He reached up to gently take your hand in his, taking it down away from his face. Your own expression fell, as did your stomach. You didn’t like where you thought this was going.

“Perhaps…perhaps what we did, what we’re doing, isn’t such a good idea.”

You blinked dumbly at him a couple of times, your mouth opening and shutting like a fish out of water.

“ _…what_?”

His entire posture changed, stiff and detached. It was like someone had turned a switch inside his head. Maybe you’d gone too far like you’d thought, pushed him to a point where he couldn’t deal with the new experiences and feelings.

“I’m not sure if we should…be with one another. It wouldn’t be good in the long run. For either of us.”

His voice had a cold edge to it, making goosebumps rise on the surface of your skin.

Sitting back, you looked at him incredulously. A nervous laugh left your lips;

“W-why? If we both want to be together, whatever form that takes, then why not?”

Connors LED flickered yellow. He gripped his knees, before standing up and walking away from the couch. You made no move to follow him just yet, letting him take a breather (so to speak).

Shifting your body round, you sat forward, tucking your hands underneath your knees;

“What are you worried about Connor?”

He seemed to be debating with himself about whether to tell you or not. You let him take his time, not wanting to make him feel like he’s been put on the spot. He still didn’t see himself as a deviant, and so it was all about taking each step as it came.

When he turned to face you, he looked completely lost and confused.

“I just don’t understand why you would want to be with me? I’m an android, I’m not…” He glanced downward for a second at his waist, “…and Amanda-“

He suddenly shut himself up, his jaw tensing as he turned away from you once more. You had the impression that he wasn’t meant to discuss this ‘Amanda’ with you. You were curious, but first thing was first…

You wobbled as you went to stand up, one of your feet having gone to sleep from your long-term awkward position on the couch. Connor still had his back to you, so you gently wrapped your arms around his waist, careful not to startle him considering his current state. Thankfully you felt his body relax as you pressed the side of your head against his back.

“I like _you_ , Connor, for who you are not what you are. Human or android, it doesn’t matter to me what your made of. Whether or not you have… _assets_ aren’t a huge deal…”

You paused, giggling quietly to yourself;

“…and if you wanted to change that…”

His hand took yours, and you felt him hold it up to his lips, keeping it there tightly. He was smiling into your fingers, or perhaps he was grinning. Either way, he was definitely in a better mood.

Connor mumbled against your knuckles;

“I’ll certainly think about it.”

“So, you feeling better about us?”

“Yes, I think so. I was just…worried about you.”

You stood back a bit, a frown beginning to form across your brow;

 “Does it have anything to do with this ‘Amanda’ woman?”

You couldn’t help but feel a jolt of jealously spark through you at the thought of that woman he mentioned. It was stupid, but it was entirely out of your control, thanks to your brain.

Connor tensed as he turned around to face you.  

“I…I shouldn’t have mentioned her…”

“Who is she? Is she part of Cyberlife, or-?”

He nodded stiffly, and that was it. It looked like this was a topic Connor wasn’t ready to talk about, or perhaps it was something he wasn’t allowed to. You decided not to press him any further, not right now anyway. It could wait for another time.

You smiled widely, taking his confused face in your hands, patting his cheeks lightly;

“Well, let’s not worry too much about her. Right now, it’s just us two, and that’s all that matters. Right?”

 He smiled;

“Right.”

You weren’t exactly sure what you wanted to do, and so you let Connor decide. He was hardly ever in the position where he could do what he wanted, and so he found it a bit overwhelming. After a bit of thinking, however, he settled on watching you do some art. That was too boring. You wanted to push him that bit and insisted on teaching him rather than just have him watching you. Sitting closely together on the frumpy sofa, you watched over him as he sketched. He had an excellent eye for detail and drew an exact replica of the little pot on your table that sat in front of him. Then a copy of a plant you’d brought through. He found it hard to draw abstractive art, but that wasn’t entirely unexpected.

After getting tired of that, both of you ended up chatting again. You found it very easy to talk to him, and what felt like minutes became hours. Still, his unsureness about you being together still lingered like a bad spectre at the back of your mind. You pushed it away, locked it up within your mind and tried not to think about it too much.

As the night was closing in, your conversation began to steer into more personal territory. You’d ended up sitting next to Connor, legs still draped across his own with your feet dangling over the side. A glass of some random cider you’d found in the fridge sat in your hand.

Connor tilted his head down towards you, not before taking a long glance over your legs;

“Since we’re now…close, may I ask you something personal?”

You shrugged, bumping your head playfully into his shoulder;

“Of course! Shoot.”

He frowned.

“Metaphor.”

He nodded.

“Well, I…” He paused, until you gave his hand a squeeze, “…I’m sorry for being rather…blunt, but…why did you get into a relationship with Liam? The two of you seem incompatible.”

You were ready for this question to come up sooner or later. In fact, you were thankful that Connor had brought it up now rather than earlier. You felt comfortable talking to him about it.

You snuggled closer to Connor, still holding his hand in yours as it settled in your lap.  

“When we first met, he was a really nice guy, honestly. Bit on the snooty side but not in a harmful way. He thought his art was the be-all-end-all, nothing could ever be wrong with it. But we just…hit it off, I guess.”

“He was never aggressive to you then?” Connor questioned.

“No, not at first. It took a few months for his true colours to shine through. He became…controlling, paranoid. He would call me up every few hours to ask me where I was or who I was with. He’d get angry if I ignored his calls or if I was with people he didn’t know. By that point we were living together, and I felt like I was trapped.”

You sighed deeply, leaning your head against his shoulder as you took a sip.

“I think I got out a bit late, and that’s why he tried contacting me again. I should have left earlier, but I was just too stupid to see how bad it was before I got in too deep...”

Connor straighten up, brows furrowed down at you;

“It wasn’t your fault you stayed, many people that were in the position you were in would do the same. You…don’t really believe that you were stupid, do you?”

_‘God damnit, why is he so…nice? Far too nice for a place like this.’_

You groaned, letting out a breathy ‘no’;

“I just wished that I got out earlier than I did, that’s all. But he’s out of the picture now, and you’re here so…” You trailed off, smiling as the last word rolled off your tongue.

Connor raised an eyebrow.

“It’s…better?”

You grinned, downing back the last few dregs of alcohol.

“Much better.”

You leaned in to him, making sure to tilt your face away from back of couch. Wouldn’t be the best thing to be smushed into the sofa, or vice versa. He made contact, slipping his hand under your jaw to hold you there gently. It was still a strange feeling to kiss an android, since they had no particular taste or smell that humans would have. It didn’t put you off, however. You couldn’t help but let a moan escape from the back of your throat.

When you parted, you dotted small pecks along the side of his lips.  He did the same in turn but tilted his head down to focus on your jaw.

Even after the butterfly kisses had finished, you gripped one another in an embrace, just content to be close to one another.

Connor sighed against your neck, the puff of air making you shiver;

“It’s late, I should probably- “

“Stay, please. Just for tonight.”

He said nothing, simply planting a kiss on your neck as you leaned in to him. It was in these moments that you almost forgot that he was an android. Connor was the definition as to why androids should have their own rights.

You went through your usual bedroom routine, but now you had Connor there with you throughout. He was curious about you, asking about random cuts and scars he noticed as you got changed, ghosting his fingers over them. If it were anyone else, you would feel rather uncomfortable, but with Connor that feeling never came. His curiosity was endearing.

Thankfully, he did let you have some privacy, and you finished up in the bathroom whilst Connor waited outside.

Once you hopped into bed, you hissed as the coolness hit your legs. You’d forgotten to turn the blanket on earlier. Good thing you had Connor, then. Connor himself didn’t really seem to understand his role in all this and stood nearby the bed as you nestled down. He was only faintly illuminated by the lamp on your bedside cabinet, although the blue glow of his identifiers made him stand out somewhat.

You patted the empty side of the bed, giving him an encouraging look;

“You can lie down with me…well, if you want to, of course, you don’t _have_ to...” You babbled.

Connor shrugged off his jacket, then sat down on the side of your bed to fiddle with his shoes. You peered over his shoulder as he wrestled with his tie, amused and somewhat taken aback when his fingers fumbled with the knot. So you leaned over him, and took the material from his hand. It was slightly awkward trying to undo it from behind him, since he was a bit taller than you and you could barely see over his shoulder at this angle. Connor chuckled, and took your hands in his as he guided you to untie the knot.

Nonchalantly flinging his tie over with the rest of his abandoned clothes, he stretched himself out onto the bed, crossing his ankles over one another. He was still dressed, but you didn’t complain. He surprised you somewhat with his confidence when he reached over to pull you closer to him. You immediately felt him warm up, making you sigh contently as the heat rushed through your body.

You were exhausted from all that happened today and lying here you felt your eyes begin to droop.

“Thank you for…staying…” You mumbled into his shirt, the drowsiness taking hold of you quicker than you thought.

“You’re an amazing guy…yaknowthat?”

You felt a hum vibrate through his body, making you smile.

“You’re exhausted, go to sleep, Alex.”

You raised your head rather wobbily to look at him through the darkness, hair sticking up at some stupid angle;

“You-you’ll stay, right?”

He kissed your forehead, which was all he gave you as an answer. Within seconds of your head hitting his solid chest, you had fallen deep into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the rather long wait, I had a bit of trouble with this chapter (and tbh i'm not entirely pleased with it). I hope you enjoy it anyway :)
> 
> As always, thank you for reading and everything!
> 
> EDIT - I'm currently working rather a lot lately, a lot of them late shifts. I've been feeling super tired and so i'm finding it hard to find the motivation to write. Don't worry though, I intend to follow this through! I just might be on a longer break than I usually do. So, sorry in advance! :/


	37. Sage Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Never give advice unless you have walked the walk, because anybody can talk the talk.'
> 
> ― Valencia Mackie

Connor had to leave early the next morning. You watched him get up and get dressed through bleary, tired eyes, unwilling to get up at what you considered to be a ‘ungodly hour’.

It was 7am.

You eventually managed to pull yourself out of bed and toddled through the hall, huddled in your cosy dressing gown like a safety blanket. The house always felt much colder in the morning before the heating kicked-in. Of course, Connor wouldn’t be bothered by something like that. It took all your concentration not to stub your toe or run into anything, since your mind was still in a half-asleep state. The difference between you and Connor in the mornings was quite staggering, you were honestly a bit jealous. He was bright and chipper, and you were zombie like in your drunk-like stupor. You tried not to be snippy with Connor, his cheery mood in direct contrast to your own.

Mornings were definitely _not_ your thing.

He stayed with you as you made toast, insisting on making you a coffee for you. He’d probably never seen humans in such a state, and you were _certainly_ a state. If he’d been anyone else, you’d have felt rather embarrassed. You looked like the walking dead, yet he didn’t say a word about how your hair was a mess or the fact that you slumped about as if you were on the verge of collapse. It was nice not having to worry about how you looked in the morning, to be comfortable in your own skin around others. Liam never afforded you this, instead choosing to weave in thinly-veiled negative remarks through conversation. Kay was of course the model gentleman, but he had the habit of poking fun at you (jokingly, of course). With Connor, it just felt…natural.

It was unfortunate that Connors time with you had run out. He was still tied to the police, to Cyberlife, and had little choice in the matter. You couldn’t help but pout as the made his way to the door. So, you abandoned your half-eaten toast and followed him.

“If you, ya’know, need any help with anything or need to talk, you know where I am, yeah?”

He paused in the doorway for a second, and you took the moment to straighten his tie. It was such a simple thing, but there was an intimacy about seeing him off like this after he spent the night.

“I have an idea of what I’m going to do next. I…may need your help with it. I’ll contact you later, okay?”

Leaning against the doorframe with your hip, you gave him a confirming nod;

“Of course, anything! Just let me know when you’re ready.”

With a final quick yet meaningful kiss, he left you with a warm smile before he turned to make his way towards the lift. Even then, you watched one another from across the hallway until the lift doors slid close to separate the two of you. You didn’t know where this relationship with Connor would go, but wherever that was, you were excited.

The warm, fuzzy feeling of the moment was instantly quashed when you realised that you’d probably never get back to sleep now. You groaned as you wiped your hands across your tired eyes, meandering your way to the bathroom.

Then, you had a thought; now would be a good time to go and see how Carl was doing.

From all the madness of the last week or so, you had neglected to come visit him. You weren’t about to fall back into old habits again, especially now that Carl was probably not in the best place. He needed someone there, even if it was just for a visit.

After you made sure you looked decent for a social visit, you made a quick call to Carl and got on your way.

Once again, you were greeted by Carls new android once you rang the doorbell, still feeling slightly awkward around him. His smile was still plastic, and he had an unnatural way about him that you weren’t used to. Thankfully, Carl was already in the hallway by the time you shuffled your way into the warm house, grateful to get out of the heavy snow. Of course, it had to start once you started driving and far away from your flat. As a result, you were soaked.

You cursed the weather forecaster for getting it totally wrong.

“Decided to come back, huh?”

If he’d asked it in any other tone, you’d have thought that he was angry at you. The jovial sparkle in his eye and the curl of his lip told you otherwise.

You feigned a dramatic sigh, wiping the damp hair away from your face.

“Had to drag myself out of my house to come here, thought I should at least show face every once in a while.” You drawled, shrugging off your damp coat. You made a face when the damp material stuck to your arm.

Carl chuckled dryly, shaking his head like one would at a silly child. The android took your jacket gingerly; even he looked slightly put-off by how sodden it was. Carl looked a bit better than he did the last time you saw him, but he still looked frail.

“But really, I’m sorry I’ve been away a while, a lots been happening these last few days and everything just-…you know.”

Carl waved off your apology, giving you a warm smile;

“Hey, don’t worry about it. I didn’t expect you to run around after me, you’ve got your own life to live. But, I’m curious…” He rolled over to you, eyebrow raised, “What’s made you so damn busy?”

 _Ho_ -boy.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Very much like Jean, you had a sense of homeliness and warmth when you were with Carl. Despite the obvious differences in décor and size, they still somehow managed to make you feel at home whenever you were at their house. Although you had to admit, the giraffe that loomed in the corner still creeped you out somewhat.

As usual, you and Carl sat opposite a large window each with your own comfort drink of choice. You sipped your hot tea carefully as you both chatted, although Carl seemed to be giving you somewhat of a knowing look throughout the conversation. It was as if he knew something you didn’t, his face in a permanent almost-smile.

Setting your cup down on the table, you flopped back into the chair;

“Okay, what’s this look for?” You waved your hand, indicating to his now growing smirk.

“You’ve got _that_ look about you. I don’t think I’ve seen you this happy since Kay was still around.”

You blinked.

“…pard-wait, what?”

Carl threw his head back and laughed heartily, clutching his chest. At least Carl was enjoying himself…

He finally calmed down, and almost started up again when he saw that your confused, yet annoyed expression was still present. You were glad that he didn’t.

“Somethings happened that’s what. So, you gonna tell me, or leave me wondering?”

Your mouth gaped open and shut before you could figure out how to form words again. Maybe it was because he’d been alive for a lot longer than yourself, but you were impressed at his ability to read people so well. Annoyed, but impressed.

Grabbing your cup, you held it close to your face as if it could shield you from him.

“Well, erm…” You took a sip for courage, “I’ve, uh, been involved with a…pro-android group…”

You murmured the last few words into your cup, unsure of how he’d take it. Carl sat back in his seat, taking in the information you’d presented to him with an unreadable expression. He didn’t look angry, that was a good thing at least.

You continued;

“And we’re, well, I think we’re making headway in promoting their cause…”

He nodded thoughtfully, his fingers laced together in his lap. It felt like you were at some sort of therapy session.

“Sounds like a plan. It’s about time something like this is happening.”

His rather serious expression faded out into a broad smile, which you automatically returned. You already had a good idea that Carl liked androids in a way most people didn’t, but to what degree you were unsure of. Until now.

“You really think so?”

He snorted.

“I _know_ so. These sorta things need to progress, evolve. It was only a matter of time, that’s how I see it.”

He leaned over to give your hand a squeeze;

“I’m proud of you for taking an active role in trying to change things for androids. The first leap is always the hardest. It takes guts, kid.”

You gave his hand an equally tight squeeze before he retracted it. Hearing Carl say that made your spirit soar, made you really believe that what you were doing was the right thing.

Peering into your half-empty cup, you watched the liquid as you swirled it about. You smiled to yourself.

“I’m glad you and I are on the same page…Oh!” You jumped forward in your seat, almost making Carl spill his tea, “I forgot to tell you earlier, I should have told you right away. Markus is alive and part of the android movement. He’s alright, Carl. So’s Kay. They’re both fine.”

Carls breath seemed to escape him after he heard this new information. He looked utterly stunned; eyes wide and watery as his mouth hung slightly open. After a second, he simply smiled and let out a content sigh of relief.

“Good. That’s good.”

“And Leo. Is he-?”

Carl nodded, the smile never faulting from his features.

“He’s getting better, slowly but surely. I’m just so glad that both of them are alright. I thought I lost both of them that night. Knowing that both of them are still here, its…well, it keeps me going.”

Both of you sat in a comforting silence, quietly sipping your respective teas. Though the snow continued fall, the sun was trying its best to break through the blanketed white sky. It was a wonderful feeling watching snow from the comfort of a cosy armchair as you sipped a hot drink.

Carl eventually broke the silence, that little grin back on his face.

“But I’m getting the feeling that you’re not telling me the whole reason why you’re so happy, am I right?”

Goddamn it, Carl.

You felt your face prickle with heat at his question, knowing exactly what he was talking about. God, he was worse than your mother.

“Yeah, I guess I’ve… _met_ someone.” Carl smiled.

“Well, I’m glad whoever this ‘mystery person’ is, is making you happy again. Would I know them? A fellow artist, or-?”

You shrugged, shaking your head as you picked absentmindedly at your jumper.

“No, and you wouldn’t know him.”

“Ah.”

“…but he’s really…he’s…” You couldn’t find the words, but Carl picked up on your meaning.

“Wonderful?” He suggested.

You chuckled quietly at Carls playful pestering.

“Yeah. He is, but I don’t think he really knows just how much.”

Carl shifted in his seat, the creek of the wood echoing around the large, open room that surrounded you both. He gazed off at something somewhere in the distance. Perhaps he was recalling a memory or a feeling in his mind.

“Well, not to sound sappy…” Good start… “But I think that you should let him know whenever you can just how important he is to you. How wonderful he is. Otherwise, you might be left regretting not telling him sooner.”

After a second, Carl shook his head with a chuckle;

“Ah, you don’t need to listen to an old man drivel on about things like this…”

You leaned forward, head propped up in your hand as your lip twitched up into a smile.

“It’s always good to get sage-old advice, Carl.”

Carl waggled a finger at you in mock annoyance;

“Hey! It’s okay when I reference how old I am, but not when someone else does!”

Both of you laughed, sipping your tea in the foreground of the wintery, washed-out sun. It was times like these, where you could relax and laugh with someone you cared about, that became moments that seared into your mind. It was a simple moment, something non-descript and trivial, but it meant the world to you.

In a world where everything around you felt rushed and stressful, a few moments to get away and breathe felt like a vacation in itself.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the long wait, but like I said in my last chapter notes, i've been pretty busy of late. Unfortunately, this means that updates may come less frequently than they did before. 
> 
> Thank you for the support (and for putting-up with my random updates), as it has kept me going even when I felt like stopping. It always makes me happy :)
> 
> Slightly shorter chapter, but I hope you enjoy it!


	38. Fortress in the Snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'A fine line separates the weary recluse from the fearful hermit. Finer still is the line between hermit and bitter misanthrope.'  
> ― Dean Koontz, Velocity

It didn’t take long for Connor to take you up on your offer of help.

You didn’t think he was serious when he mentioned Kamski. Of all people.

And now you were being bumped around in the back of Hanks old and battered car, trying not to get whip-lash or brushed bones from every corner or bump he hit.

Meeting Kamski would seem like a dream to some. To you, it was like facing someone you once looked up to only to see them fall. It was going to be tricky, but you wanted to be here.

For Connor.

The snow had all but blanketed the city, the snow becoming more and more all-encompassing as Hank drove out of the city to the outskirts. It gave you a chill just from looking at it. It didn’t help that Hanks car had little heating in it anyway.

Hank noticed your rather tense expression though his mirror;

“Thought you’d be excited to meet someone like him, seein’ as your so keen on androids.”

“If you asked me 10 years ago or so, yeah, I guess I would be.”

Connor turned in his seat to better see you, quirking an eyebrow.

“What do you mean?”

Ever the investigator…

You sighed, rubbing a hand over your tired eyes. Immediately regretting it after you noticed the black marks of mascara smeared on your hands. You quickly tried to fix it as best you could without a mirror. At best, you looked like a heavy-makeup enthusiast, at worst…a panda.

Connor didn’t seem to care either way, so you stopped fussing.

“He’s not exactly the paragon of android rights, is he? He abandoned them because of, what, ‘artistic differences’ or some shit? Pft.”

Connor was wordless, but seemed to be pondering over what you said. Hank, meanwhile found this whole thing a rather funny.

He snorted, giving you a knowing rather cheeky look through the rear mirror.

“What, you’re not even a little bit excited to meet this guy? Why the hell did’ya want to come with us then?”

You settled deeper into the seat, trying to find a spot that wasn’t like being prodded relentlessly by metal springs. It was an unending task.

“It’s…more of a curiosity than anything. When I was still at Uni, he was interesting to learn about. Maybe if this was happening back then, then I’d be excited. I’m here because I told Connor that I’d help him, and he asked for me to come. That’s the main reason why I came.”

Connor held his gaze on yours for a little while longer, his eyes telling you all he wanted to say without speaking a word. Even when your gaze broke off with him, you still felt a warmth on the pit of your stomach.

He made you feel at ease with a simple look. Nobody had ever connected with you like that before now.

The further Hank drove out and away from the city, the houses and cars you passed began to drop in number dramatically. You had to admit that it was rather peaceful out here; no blaring lights or constant droning of engines. Shame that you couldn’t relax much, seeing as you lived and worked within the city limits. Once you got enough money (somehow) you wanted to take a break out somewhere remote, somewhere in the country. Considering your current intake of money, that wouldn’t happen anytime soon.

Well, unless you went camping or something.

After a long while of driving down a private, single-lane road, a large and architecturally impressive building came into view. It reminded you of a stone fortress that had emerged from the snow beneath. It looked almost like it was shaped into the landscape, a jutting, angry looking shape contrasting against the white of the snow.

It looked rather off-putting. Maybe that’s what Kamski had in mind when he had it made, considering his solitary life-style.

Hank set the brake with a creak. You breathed deep.

There was no going back now.

Hank stepped outside to answer a phone call, and you took that time to still your nerves. Or at least try to. Connor was quiet, unmoving in his seat even after Hank had walked away. You unbuckled and leaned into the back of his chair, resting a hand on his shoulder. He twitched.

“Hey, you okay?”

His head swivelled round to you, eyes wandering down over your hand, and then settled on your face. He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He was trying to make you feel better by looking like he was doing alright.

“I am, thank you.” You squeezed his shoulder, resting your head atop of it.

“But, really, let me know if you aren’t. Just know that…that if you don’t feel comfortable, or you want to leave, don’t feel like you have to stay, alright? Just- let me or Hank know.”

He seemed to relax under your touch, especially so when you laid a kiss on his shoulder. You reluctantly retracted your hand back, but not before he took it in his own and gave it a supportive squeeze.

“Thank you, Alex.”

Suppose it was time to get out and actually do something.

The bitter wind nipped at your ears and fingers, making you automatically burrow yourself deeper into your jacket and scarf. Despite the uncomfortableness of Hanks car, it was preferable to freezing alive out here. How Hank tolerated the cold in what he wore you had no idea. Hank seemed tense after the phone call, his breaths coming out somewhat shakily as he stood with his back towards you both.

Connor made a move towards him;

“Is everything ok, lieutenant?”

You also stepped in closer, rubbing your hands together in a poor attempt at keeping them warm. Or perhaps trying to start a fire. Either would do, honestly.

Hank pivoted, standing side-on from you and Connor. His face was troubled, but by what you weren’t sure.

“Just got news back about Chris, he’s getting over what happened the other night with those deviants…”

You had no idea who this Chris was, but you knew exactly what event Hank was talking about. Watching it on TV, you never saw all of what happened. You swallowed, fearing what Hank was going to say next.

“What happened to him?” You asked.

“Deviants attacked him and his partner while they were on duty.”

Hank looked between you and Connor, looking rather unsure.

“He said he was saved by Markus, that he let him go.”

You couldn’t help the ghost of a half-smile that pulled at the side of your mouth. What Markus had done could really change how the public viewed deviants. He showed compassion where many others would not.

“I’m glad to hear that Chris is feeling better.” Connor commented. Hank still looked rather perturbed by what had happened.

“Yeah… _what the hell….”_ He muttered under his breath as he walked away towards the building. You glanced over at Connor briefly, his expression one of mild confusion, before following on behind Hank. The closer you got to Kamski’s house, the more intimidated you felt. It seemed to draw you in, yet at the same time challenge you to keep away. It was intriguing…and terrifying.

Connor walked stiffly beside you, his jaw tensing as his eyes roamed over the exterior.

“I have a bad feeling lieutenant. We shouldn’t have come here.”

“Bad feeling huh? Should get your program checked, might be a glitch.” Hank Joked.

You grinned over at Connor, giving him a playful nudge in the arm.

“Nah, think he’s fine as he is.”

Connor didn’t return your smile. Your own faded from your face.

Being here was _really_ troubling him.                                                                 

Hank rung the bell, making a rather eerie tone sound from inside the house. The waiting was the worst, it was always the worst. Hank was on the verge of ringing the bell again, when the door was opened with a light ‘click’. An android stood there, a plain, unreadable expression painted across her features. You recognised her face from somewhere, but your memory just wouldn’t work for you in that moment. Behind her, the faint sound of a soothing melody echoed from a room further in.

Hank stood there rather flustered. You weren’t sure if it was because she was an android, or because of her looks. Either way, it was funny to watch.

He stumbled over his words as he introduced you and himself whilst the android looked on as blankly as ever. It was quite unnerving.

Her pleasant reply came as soon as Hank finished talking, and she moved aside to let you all pass.

“Please come in.”

The house was…grand to say the least. It was what you imagined yourself living in if your artwork became world-famous, if a bit cooler in colour. It seamlessly meshed together modernity and the natural world; with stylish designs encapsulated with muted colours and rocks that looked as if they were a natural part of the house.

You shivered involuntarily. It felt cold. If you designed this house, you’d make it a priority to make it feel warm and inviting. This place felt nothing of the sort.

“I’ll let Elijah know you’re here. But please, make yourselves comfortable.”

You gave her a polite nod in return, before she seemed to ghost out of the room on nimble, shoeless feet.

Connor wandered past you, glancing up at the rather imposing yet mesmerising painting of Kamski that engulfed the opposing wall. You suddenly felt very much under the microscope, as if Kamski himself was watching you all from behind the scenes.

“Always wanted a huge painting of myself like that, then again…” You dropped your voice low, a grin widening across your face, “…I think it’s a bit pretentious…”

Hank chuckled, settling into one of the rather uncomfortable looking, modern chairs.

“Not your work then I take it?”

“Pfft, no! Like he’d notice some small-fry like me.” You tilted your head to the side, “Although I have to admit…it’s very good.”

Connor didn’t comment, his eyes still roving about the room, taking in the details of his creator’s home. There was a still silence between the three of you.

Hank patted the top of his legs in a bored fashion.

“Nice girl…” Hank suddenly commented, his eyes looking off in the direction where the android left. A twinge of jealousy sparked through you as you watched Connor mull over what Hank said, but you pushed it away.

“You’re right…” His eyes met yours before they looked away. “She’s really pretty.”

You crossed your arms over your chest, a smirk playing at the corner of your lip. You weren’t about to become the jealous one that would get angry if their partner even so much looked at anyone else you saw as a ‘potential rival’. You weren’t Liam.

“What does that make me, chopped liver?” You questioned in mock anger. Connor blinked wildly, his eyes darting everywhere but yours. He had a ‘oh shit, what did I say?’ look on his face.

“Uhh…I-I would never compare you to- “

Hank rolled his eyes and let out a sigh.

“She didn’t mean it literally, Connor. _Christ_ …” A ghost of a smile appeared on Hanks face, “But does this mean that you two-?”

He left the question hanging, pointing between the two of you. You stuttered;

“Erm, well…-“

“That we are in a relationship? We haven’t discussed –“

“Connor…”

“-…but considering that we have become somewhat inti-“

“Connor.” You hissed quietly, face now a wonderfully ruby red colour. Seeing your flustered expression, Connor quickly shut up. Hank, however, looked incredibly amused with both of you.

He opened his mouth to speak, and for your own sanity you hoped he would drop the subject.

“Nice place…”

Thank _fuck._

“Guess androids haven’t been a bad thing for everybody.”

You shrugged, feeling the heat slowly retract from your face. It didn’t help that Connor was _still_ looking at you.

“Being the one that started it all has its benefits…” Hank hummed in acknowledgement.

Another pregnant pause.

“So…” Hank shifted forward in his seat, “…you’re about to meet your maker, Connor. How does it feel?”

Connor stiffened next to you. You couldn’t really imagine being him in this situation. You’d have so many questions, so many resentments and worries that you’d spill out to Kamski. Like a confession. Like a prayer.

Gently, you reached over to touch Connor lightly on the arm, giving him some comfort in this rather mad situation.

“Kamski is one of the great geniuses of the 21st century. It’ll be interesting to meet him in person.”

_‘That it will.’_

Hank looked rather melancholy, his expression dour as he looked down at his lap.

“Sometimes I wish I could meet my creator face to face…” A barely noticeable sneer pinched at his lip, “I’d have a couple of things I’d wanna tell him.”

You didn’t know much about Hank from before you’d met him, except that he was a very committed and decorated officer from a young age. From what he said, you figured that he’d been through hard times in his life.

“I guess…” You began, glancing at Connor as he flipped around his coin, “androids have a one-up on us humans in that department, huh?”

“Looks that way…” Hank forced a small smile up at you.

 Silence once more.

……

….

 _God_ , you hoped Kamski was ready soon…

As if on cue, Hank stood up and moved towards the otherside of the room. You couldn’t help but jump slightly when you heard the android speak from behind you. How did she get in so damn quietly?

“Elijah will see you now.”

Your heart hammered in your chest, but you weren’t sure why.

Was it because you were about to meet someone you’d once looked up to? Or was it simply excitement over the curiosity of meeting Cyberlife’s hermit creator?

So many questions buzzed around your head.

And so you took a deep breath, and followed behind.

Time to meet his maker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the long break, but it may be like this for a while. Don't worry, I will continue to write the story, I have no plans on stopping it any time soon :)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and as always thank you for all your support !


	39. Never Meet your Heroes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'People are guests in our story, the same way we are guests in theirs. But we all meet each other for a reason because every person is a personal lesson waiting to be told.'
> 
> ― Lauren Klarfeld

You weren’t sure what exactly you were expecting when you walked into the next room…

Perhaps Kamski lounging, surrounded by various monitors, watching the world from his isolation. Or standing ominously at the end of a long corridor, surrounded by android models arranged to look like roman sculptures like some twisted art show.

What you didn’t expect was him lounging in a blood-red pool, relaxed in such a way that made you feel like you had just walked in on him during a private moment.

 The clones of the android who had greeted you earlier chatting casually at the edge of the pool made you jump. That was one thing you hadn’t expected, and it didn’t help you feel any less at ease. Speaking of which, something about them seemed familiar. Wasn’t she the first android to pass the Turing Test? Her name escaped you, and you could just imagine your lecturers from uni tutting at you for forgetting such an important fact.

Kamski looked…different than he did when you saw him on TV. Not that that was hard to believe but comparing his current look to his previous geeky one, it was quite jarring to see him like this.

Hank called out to him from the other side of the pool, and you couldn’t help but feel that bit annoyed at Kamski’s behaviour. He kept you all waiting, only to swim about as if none of you were there standing about. To you, it felt like a power move, a way to take control of the situation. From his relaxed position floating in the pool, he let out a sigh. It was as if the whole situation was such a bother to him.

“Just a moment, please.”

Ever so casually, he began to swim towards the three of you, and you couldn’t help but notice his eyes settling on yours every so often. Almost as if on cue you felt Connor move in closer, and the uneasiness you felt seemed to waver somewhat.

As you walked towards the window that engulfed one side of the room, you had to admit, the view he had from here was beautiful. It looked almost like an alien landscape from where you stood. You’d kill for a view like this. Well, not literally…

The splash and subsequent wet patter of feet on whatever-the-presumably-expensive-stuff-was-on-the-floor drew you gaze back to Kamski as he was given a dressing-gown by one of the androids. You couldn’t help but flinch at the idea of wearing it when you were soaking wet. Hadn’t heard of things called towels?

He looked over all of you blankly, as if his time was being wasted by you lot being in his presence. He moved past you (brushing past rather closely) and began to tie up his hair into a bun. Still, he said nothing. He simply turned around and waited expectantly for one of you to speak first.

That person was apparently Hank.

“I’m Lieutenant Anderson. This is Connor-“

Kamski’s gaze swung over to you, a smirk playing at the corner of his lip.

“and you’re…Vale, right? Alexandria Vale?” You blinked.

“Ahh, yeah, yeah I am.” _Smooth._ Wait…what?

He lingered on you a moment longer before turning back to Hank, folding his hands over in front of him. The picture of serenity, or so he’d want you to think.

“What can I do for you Lieutenant? Miss Vale?” His question was framed pleasantly, but his tone said anything but. He wasn’t a hermit for nothing, it seemed.

Hank wasn’t going to put up with his attitude, however.

“Sir, we’re investigating deviants. I know you left Cyberlife years ago but, I was hoping you’d be able to tell us something we don’t know.”

The look on Kamski’s face made you shiver.

“Deviants,” He looked over at you knowingly. “fascinating, aren’t they?”

You dropped your eyes to the side, his own intense gaze getting to you. You were stopped in your tracks by Connor, who locked eyes with you for a split second before returning to Kamski. You felt the faint touch of his skin as Connors hand brushed against your own.

“Perfect beings with infinite intelligence, and now they have free will…”

He turned towards the female android at his side, who stood eerily still alongside him.

“Machines are so superior to us, confrontation was inevitable. Humanity’s greatest achievement threatens to be its downfall.” He smirked, “Isn’t it ironic?”

“I don’t believe that.”

The words shot out of your mouth before you could stop yourself. And yet, you didn’t stop, even when you could feel the eyes of both Connor and Hank on you from either side. You had this one chance to talk to Kamski, and you weren’t about to stand there silently.

“From what I’ve seen, the deviants have no intention of inciting violence towards us. Confrontation of _ideas,_ perhaps, but not of arms. And some of us have no intention of fighting against them. I don’t see how this is our downfall, it can be an evolution. If we allow it to progress.”

There was a moment of silence, the gentle lapping of the water behind you the only sound in the expansive room. Kamski looked over you rather amused, his eyes roaming over you.

“Interesting…”

Connor stepped up before Kamski could continue with whatever he was going to say. You couldn’t help but notice how he seemed to purposely brush close to you as he moved forward. Of all the things, you never expected Connor to be the jealous type. Not that you minded.

“Deviancy seems to spread like some kind of virus. We thought you might know something about that.”

His voice was steady, and there was a subtle hint of annoyance that you picked up. Kamski’s attention was trained off you, for the moment anyway. He shrugged, shaking his head nonchalantly;

“All ideas are viruses that spread like epidemics. Is the desire to be free a contagious disease?”

His eyes drifted back over to you, that smirk playing at his lips again.

“Of course, your colleague knows quite a bit about how powerful this can be. Don’t you, Miss Vale?”

You swallowed hard, noticing Hank looking down at you quizzically from the corner of your eye. Of course, he had no idea about Haven, nor about how you’ve been actively helping deviants escape to safety. How Kamski knew about this, you weren’t sure. But you had your suspicions.

You raised your chin up, holding your gaze with Kamski. You weren’t about to turn this into confession hour;

“Speech is a powerful tool. You could push the idea of any agenda, good _or_ bad, and see it succeed if you do it well enough.”

“And do you consider this deviation something inherently good…or bad? …Or is it neither?” Kamski questioned, head tilted towards you. Your face rose in temperature as you felt yourself get riled up.

Before you could reply, Hank stepped in, a hand held up to stop you from talking back. He seemed to have had enough of Kamski’s. In all honesty, so had you.

“Listen, we didn’t come here to talk philosophy, so lay off her. The machines you created may be planning a revolution. Either you can tell us something that’ll be helpful, or we will be on our way.”

Kamski paused for a moment, as if he were thinking of a response to Hank. Instead, he turned to look at Connor, completely ignoring Hank.

“What about you Connor?”

Kamski stepped towards him until they almost stood face to face. He seemed to have all but forgotten Hank, his attention now entirely on the android at your side.

Kamski’s eyes flickered over at you for a split second before settling back on Connor.

“Whose side are you on?”

It was as if he was asking you the same question.

All eyes were now on Connor, and your heart could have quite easily sprung from your chest. This could be such a defining moment for him, considering all he’s been through in such a short amount of time.

“I have no side.” You frowned. “I was designed to stop deviants and that is what I intend to do.”

“Connor…” He looked over at you, eyes softening at your words. You held your gaze, lightly shaking your head. After everything, he would say something like that? You couldn’t help but feel disappointment pull at your chest.

Kamski scoffed, pulling both you and Connor back into the room;

“Well, that’s what you’re programmed to say…but you…what do you _really_ want?”

He was pressing hard, pushing at Connors metaphorical buttons just so.

Standing there, face to face, the two of them seemed to be at a stalemate. Neither wishing to back down.

But Connor was breaking. His façade was collapsing under the pressure.

When he finally managed to speak, his words came out far more unsure than you expected.

“What I want is not important.”

He didn’t sound like he believed his own words. You certainly didn’t.

And neither did Kamski.

“Chloe?”

_‘Ah, that was her name!’_

“I’m sure you’re familiar with the Turing Test…”

The android made her way gracefully towards Kamski, and you felt like this sudden change of tone wasn’t looking good. With Kamski’s attention away from Connor, you gripped his hand in yours and gave it a tight squeeze. You were relieved when he squeezed back equally as strong. By the time Kamski turned back to face you, your hands were separated once more.

“Mere formality, simple algorithms and computing compacity…”

He wrapped a rather possessive arm around Chloe, although she herself made no effort to acknowledge it. He navigated her to stand in front of Connor.

You gave a worried look over at Hank.

Kamski continued to waffle.

“What interests me is whether machines are capable of empathy, I call it the “Kamski Test”,” _‘-fuckin-course you do’,_ “It’s very simple, you’ll see…”

It was quite surreal to see a man you had spent hours researching, discussing and debating about during university standing right in front of you. You would have killed to have been able to speak to him during your studies. The man standing in front of you at this moment did not make you feel that giddiness you’d have once felt, that amazement about meeting the father of Cyberlife androids.

Right now, all you felt was a creeping uneasiness.

“Magnificent, isn’t it? One of the first intelligent models developed by Cuberlife. Young, and beautiful forever. A flower that will never whither…”

He was making you feel more uncomfortable now, the way he talked and looked at her. A terrible jab seared deep in your chest as you watched. A part of your mind seemed to taunt you with the idea that you were no better than Kamski when it came to Connor. Did you only like him because he was a perfect example of a man, something you had never really had in your romantic life so far? Was that the _only_ reason you cared about being with him? You didn’t believe those intrusive thoughts, but that didn’t mean that they left.

And neither did that ache in your chest.

“But what is it really?” Kamski moved away from Chloe, scanning the three of you over.

“Piece of plastic imitating a human?” You tensed as he bent down towards a cabinet, “Or a living being…with a soul.”

At the sight of the gun he held in his hand, you instinctually stuttered back a few steps. What the hell was he playing at?

Then, you realised what he wanted to do when he bade Chloe kneel before Connor.

He talked about androids having empathy, and now he was going to test it.

You shook your head, eyes darting between Connor and Kamski. This wasn’t right.

“You’re not serious…-?”

Kamski just smiled softly, as if this were the most normal thing in the world. Hank, however, was still rather confused. He crossed his arms over his chest.

“Serious about what?”

Kamski gave him a slight nod.

“You’ll see.”

Kamski walked over to Connor, the guns handle pointed towards him, “It’s up to you to answer the fascinating question of android autonomy, Connor.”

He slipped between Connor and yourself, gently placing the gun in his hand. He then proceeded to manoeuvre Connors arm upward until the gun was pointing directly at Chloe.

Just like you thought.

“Destroy this machine, and I’ll tell you all I know. Or spare it, if you feel it’s alive, but you’ll leave here without having learnt anything from me.”

Connor was stressed, his LED flickering wildly as he stood there. You hated seeing him like this. He was conflicted, and you were terrified of what his answer would be under such stress.

Reaching a hand up, you placed it upon his outstretched arm, taking the few small steps to stand close to his side.

“Connor, if you don’t want-“

“Ah!”

Kamski interrupted you, holding his hand up to stop you from continuing;

“Please. You of all people should know the importance of this test. Let him decide.”

Your hand slipped from Connors arm.

“But...”

Hank gripped your arm lightly, urging you back and away towards him and the exit.

“Okay, I think we’re done here. Come on, Connor. Let’s go. Sorry to get you outta your pool.“

“What’s more important to you, Connor? Your investigation, or the life of this android? Decide who you are.”

Kamski paced around Connor like a shark.

“An obedient machine…” Kamski spared a glance at you, “…or a living being endowed with free will.”

You felt Hanks grip fall from your arm as he went to walk away. The sharpness of his voice made you flinch.

“That’s enough! Both of you, we’re leaving.”

You felt rooted to the spot, unable turn your gaze away from Connor.

Kamski moved in close to Connors face.

“Pull the trigger-“           

You stepped nearer.

“Connor, please.”

Kamski’s hardened stare switched to you. Hank shouted out from somewhere behind you;

“Connor, don’t…”

Kamski placed a hand on Connors shoulder, leaning in like a devil on his shoulder.

“-and I’ll tell you what you wanna know.”

Everyone went quiet, and in that moment, it felt like the entire world froze in that single moment. You thought you knew Connor enough to know that he would not shoot the android. But that niggling feeling at the back of your mind made your heart race painfully against your ribs.

His hesitation was killing you.

And then, he handed the gun back to a rather curious Kamski.

The tense atmosphere dropped and suddenly, you could breathe again.

“Fascinating…Cyberlife’s last chance to save humanity, is itself a deviant.”

Connor was troubled about this, however. You couldn’t imagine what thoughts were running through his head in that moment.

“I’m…I’m not a deviant.” He stuttered.

“You preferred to spare a machine rather than accomplish your mission. You saw a living being in this android. You showed empathy.”

He did. For once, you could agree with Kamski.

Kamski helped Chloe up, and she strolled away from the group as if nothing had happened.

“And from what I’ve witnessed between you and Miss Vale…” Kamski looked knowingly between you and Connor, a smirk on his lips, “It’s safe to say that you’ve also developed a…close bond with one another.”

You didn’t know what to say to that, so instead you just looked up at Connor only to find him watching you with the same expression. Kamski was making this incredibly awkward.

His face suddenly switched to serious as he talked directly to Connor.

“A war is coming, you’ll have to choose your side. Will you betray your own people or stand up against your creators?”

When Kamski framed it that way, both options sounded like a war. You and Haven were trying to stop that from happening. _‘Trying’_ being the key word. You could only hope that Connor would make the right decision, and that Haven would maintain its peaceful stance.

“What could be worse than having to choose between two evils?”

Hank had managed to maneuver around you to intercept Kamski and Connor, grabbing the latter before pulling him away.

“Let’s get outta here…Alex?” You shook yourself out of your transfixed state and followed behind the two men. You found yourself unable to let go of what Kamski said, which slowed down your progress towards the door immensely.

“By the way…” You almost bumped into Connors back as he stopped dead in the doorway, “I always leave an emergency exit in my programs…”

Kamski stood, back towards the both of you as he faced the white landcape outside of his domain. You frowned at his back.

What the hell did he mean by that?

“You never know…”

Well, that made it make less sense than before.

The gentle touch of a hand against the small of your back turned your attention to its owner. He looked drained, yet still managed to eek out a small smile.

“Come on, let’s go.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As soon as the cold air hit your face, you took a deep breath. It was stifling in Kamski’s house, it felt like you’d been underground for hours without proper air. You took a minute to calm yourself, watching the flakes drift ever so slowly down from the heavens. Although Connor seemed to want to be anywhere but here.

“Why didn’t you shoot?”

Connor stopped, his body turning sharply back to Hank and yourself.

“I just saw that girls eyes…and I couldn’t. That’s all.”

It sounded like he was trying to appease himself rather than Hank.

“You’re always saying you would do anything to accomplish your mission. That was our chance to learn something, and you let it go…”

“Yeah, I know what I should’ve done! I told you I couldn’t…I’m sorry, okay?”

The fierceness in his voice shocked you, you’d never heard him talk like that before. You stepped towards him, being careful not to slip on the ramp;

“There’s no need to be sorry about what you did, Connor.”

His eyes snapped over to you;

“Isn’t there? This is my purpose, my mission, and I…-”

He sighed, a cloud of cold air rising past his head. He had been through so much, and it was really getting to him. Questions about what and who he really is, what his purpose was, it was becoming a crushing weight over him.

“Maybe you did the right thing.”

Both you and Connor watched as Hank made way towards his car, surprise etched on both your faces. For a man who originally severely disliked and dehumanised androids, he seemed remarkably happy with how things turned out.

“I’m proud of what you did back there. I really am.”

Connor inclined his head towards you, his face brightening up considerably from what it had been just a few moments before.

You reached up to cup his jaw, your thumb gliding across his cheek;

“And for what it’s worth, I’m with Hank on this. I think you did the right thing.”

Connor leaned into your palm, eyes closed. His expression one of peace and contentment.

“I’m beginning to believe that too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for waiting, but I hope you all enjoy this chapter, bit of a longer one :)
> 
> I appreciate all the comments, views and kudos. Although I don;t reply to all comments, i'm thankful for all of them!


	40. Snowy Walks and Caffeinated talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.'
> 
> ― Robert A. Heinlein (Stranger in a Strange Land)

Hank was kind enough to drive you back to your flat (not that you’d be able to get back if he didn’t). The snow didn’t seem to let up and was in fact steadily getting worse. You were just thankful that it was Hank driving and not you right now.

Very few words were spoken on your way back, aside from Hank grumbling about the ‘fuckin’ snow’ every now and then. You were content to watch the world go by through a haze of white.

Hank parked a little way off from your flat thanks to the pile of parked cars that congested the front of the building. After grumbling about that, he leaned round his seat to face you.

“Well, that was an interesting visit, huh?”

You snorted.

“You can say that again.”

You bundled yourself up again, knowing that despite the short distance to your door, that you would undoubtedly feel like you’d been standing there for an hour. The temperature sure had taken a dip this last while.

Hank cleared his throat.

“I’m glad you came, honestly. Don’t think I could put up with that guys shit for much longer,” He nudged his head over at Connor, “and I’m pretty damn sure he feels the same.”

Connor still looked a bit out of it, probably still trying to process all that went on. He did eventually look over at you with a smile. Automatically, you smiled back rather coyly. You were glad that some of your reddened face was partially hidden by your scarf.

“Well,” You smacked your hands against your knees, indicating that you were ready to get up, “Thanks for driving me back…oh, and actually asking me to come. You didn’t need to, I just hope you won’t get in trouble cos of it.”

Hank shrugged,

“Bah! Like I give a shit bout what they think, we’re the ones actually doin’ something on this case. And like hell I’d leave you to walk back; d’yah honestly think I’m _that_ heartless?”

You held your hand over your heart, giving him an ‘aww’ look, the same one you would make watching a small puppy waddle over to you.

“Of course not! I half expected you to give me a dollar for the bus and send me on my way! But it looks like I’ve warmed your heart with my winning personality.”

Hank raised an eyebrow, but he couldn’t stop the half-snort, half-chuckle that rumbled through his chest. Even Connor looked amused, more relaxed. You had seemed to successfully defuse the tense atmosphere of the car. It was a shame that it was the end of the journey.

You carefully stepped out into the snow, feeling that pang of fear when one of your feet slipped on a particularly frozen patch of the pavement. It seems that despite all the technological advances humanity has made, ice is still a hurdle that must be overcome. Damn ice.

Connor exited the car almost in sync with you, not that you were surprised anymore. Before you could walk away, a tap-tap on the car window from hank made you stop in your tracks. After Hank rolled down the window, he leaned over to you;

“Take care of yourself, okay? Any problems, you know…”

He scratched the back of his head awkwardly.

“Just call?”

He managed to etch a small smile out of his features.

“Just call.”

Connor fell into step with you as you both crunched through the building snow that covered the path. Hardly anyone was out and about, most choosing to stay in on a day like this. As the snow landed gently on Connor, you noticed that he reacted more naturally when flakes landed on his eyelashes and nose. Compared with how he reacted (or rather did react) to the rain a while back, it was a stark contrast. He had become more like his own self, he had become ‘Connor’ rather than just an automaton with a name.

You couldn’t imagine not knowing Connor.

Reaching the front door, you knew that a question was brewing in that mind of his. He did this little thing where his brows furrowed, and his head would twitch ever so slightly when he was thinking of a question.

“Alex, do you think that I’m…that I’m a deviant? Like Kamski said?”

“You asked me this before, remember?”

Connor hummed in acknowledgement. Feeling the cool breeze breach the defences of your scarf, you pulled it up higher towards your throat.

“Well, I think you know my answer to that. I think that now, you need to ask yourself that question.”

Connors gaze wondered off into the distance, his expression hardened. Stepping closer to him, you took his hands in your own. You didn’t care if anyone saw you, what they thought meant nothing. Right now, Connor was everything.

“You’ve been through so much since you were created, I can’t imagine how confusing and maddening this must be for you. Just know that I’ll be right here for you when you make that decision, okay? I’ll be right alongside you all the way.”

He squeezed your hands, leaning forward to rest his head against your own. Despite the biting cold, all you could feel in that moment was him.

“I have a lot to think about, but I’m glad to know that you’ll be there for me. Just know that…that I’ll be there for you.”

You leaned back to see his face, watching his eyes dance across your features.

“Even if that contradicts your mission?”

Connor paused, his LED swirling yellow.

“I…I’ll try.”

Cupping his face in your hands, you leaned in to plant a simple kiss upon his lips. You just hoped the spark that ran through you as your lips touched wasn’t an electrical malfunction. Even if it was, it made your whole body feel alive. A warming feeling that flowed down your body, making the surrounding cold feel like a warm fireplace. You’d never get tired of that feeling. After you parted, you gave him a warm smile.

“That’s all I ask, Connor.”

After one last squeeze of your hand, Connor made his way back to Hanks waiting car.

Oh fuck. _Hank_.

He’d been sitting there in plain view this entire time. You’d been so into just the two of you that you’d forgotten that Hank practically had front-row seats to the show. Your fears were confirmed when you saw Hank looking particularly smug as he sat waiting for Connor. He practically said ‘I knew it’ without saying a word.

Trying to hide your rosy face, you walked up the stairs in the hopes that you’d look less like a tomato by the time you reached the top. From the looks of it, Hank was now discussing something with Connor, the latter of which happily chatting away.

Oh _Connor._

After waving goodbye to them both, you were glad to get into the safety of your flat.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You spent much of the next two hours in the Artscape, finishing up your painting whilst also chatting with Theo about what all went down. When you told him who you’d met, you heard him splutter and chock on whatever he was eating.

“ _The_ Kamski!?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Like, the guy who practically, singlehandedly created an entire sub-set of highly advanced artificial intelligence?”

“Yup.”

“Come on, you gotta tell me what he was like!”

“Bit of a pretentious ass, if I’m going to be honest.”

“…oh.”

“Sorry.”

You heard him grumble a bit on the other end, muttering something incoherent amidst the sound of rustling and the clatter of tins. You were putting the finishing touches on your large piece, making sure that you had every bit of detail that you wanted. The two figures, one within the other, represented androids and humans respectively. The android figure had android-like features (such as the LED and mechanical visuals) and the human one had more biological visuals (such as muscles and bone). As with your smaller art piece that Theo asked you to do, they cupped a blue heart in their hands, although this time it was bleeding red blood.

After all the things you’d been through, you had gathered a lot of inspiration for this piece. Although, you were glad that you were finally done with it, it took a lot out of you.

Theo finally came back to his senses, clearing his throat once he got himself sorted again.

“So, did you learn anything from him? He’s gotta have something to say about all these deviants, right?”

You leaned back, zooming out of your art piece to see if fully.  

“I can’t say that I really understand what he things, but I got the feeling like he was waiting for this to happen. The deviant thing.”

“Huh, a creator who wants their created to rebel? That’s new.”

“Certainly, brings up a lot of questions.”

After one last look over, you saved the piece, and copied it onto our computer. You exited the Artscape and returned to chat with Theo face to digital face. He looked more dishevelled than usual. It also looked like he’d been working late, considering the amount of coffee mugs and energy drinks that dotted his desk and floor.

“Did you ask him any?”

“Didn’t have the time, unfortunately. He also seemed to know about Haven, and somehow, he knew I was part of it. Or at least, that’s the impression he gave off.”

Theo took a deep sip from one of the many tins.

“Well, that’s, uh, slightly terrifying. Shit, we’re getting around, huh? Wonder if he’s on the site…”

“Who knows…”

You both sat there in slight uneasiness at the idea that Kamski was watching what you were doing. What if he suddenly changed his mind, and leak all your information? You just had to hope that he didn’t.

“Changing up the subject somewhat…got something for you.”

Theo immediately brightened up in his chair, rubbing his tired eyes.

“I’ll send you that art work I’ve been working on, thought that you might find it useful at some point.”

“Aw, though you’d got me a present or something,” He shrugged, “Go ahead, send it through.”

You sent it to him, happy to see Theo grinning at his monitor once he opened it

“Excellent, seriously. I’m not an arty type or anything but, yeah, its good! I’ll figure out where to put it up, or when. It’s digital so that makes it pretty flexible.”

You couldn’t help but beam at him through the screen in accomplishment.

“Glad you think so, but I think you seriously need some sleep, you look like the walking dead from here.”

Theo groaned over-dramatically, falling back into his computer chair.

“Don’t start, seriously. I work best at night, it’s not my fault that my brain works like that!” He moaned.

You rolled your eyes. For a computer whiz, he could really be a childish idiot sometimes.

“Drinking caffeine all the time won’t help, get some s- “

_Brriiinggg-brriingg!_

Your mobile’s shrill ringtone stopped you mid-sentence as it vibrated rather loudly across the desk. Despite changing your ringtone to a classic phone one, it still made you jump.

It was Jean.

You didn’t even manage to say hello before her hurried voice stopped you.

“Alex? Please come around, I think…I think that there’s some of those protestors nearby and they’re-…oh god, they’re yelling and throwing things…please come, I didn’t know who to phone, please…”

“Jean? Jean, calm down, I’ll be right over. Have you called the police?”

You could hear her shaky breath through the phone as she listened. Somewhere in the background, you heard the sound of heated voices.

“Yes, yes I’ve…I’ve phoned them. Please, I nee- “

A crash. Yelling. A thump.

Then the line went dead.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the long gap between updates, been busy lately. Unfortunately, this might run into the next few weeks (for obvious reasons). Bitty short, but this chapter is kinda meant as a bridge for the next one. The story will go on!
> 
> Thank you all so much for the support, and to everyone reading :)


	41. Property Damage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'It kills me sometimes, how people die.'
> 
> ― Markus Zusak, (The Book Thief)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be the normal end-of-chapter notes for this story, I just wanted to put a little warning on this one. Although I don't think that its super graphic, this chapter is one of the reasons why this is mature. It involves **SPOILER** a character death *SPOILER** with descriptions of injuries.

Fearing the worst, you called for the ambulance before you left.

Your mind was solely on auto-pilot as you drove through the driving snow, silently cursing the traffic that impeded you. You had never felt such a rush of adrenaline and fear as you did at this very moment, and it was making it harder and harder for you to keep yourself from hyperventilating or worse, completely breaking down. You had never been good at dealing with moments like this, your mind seemed to switch off all logical thought in favour of panic and emotional response. This time, you were going to keep as level headed as you could.

For their sake.

Your breath stuck in your throat as you turned the corner into Jeans street, every possible terrible outcome racing through your head. The fact that the street looked remarkably calm made you even more fearful. No noise, no people, to evidence of any violence. It was as if it were any other day on this street.

If you were naïve, you might have wanted to believe that the situation had ended peacefully, that the gang had more bark than bite. Your gut told you otherwise. Sometimes, you have to expect the worst even if you wish with all your being that it would not be true.

Parking a bit away from the front door to allow for the emergency services, you made your way towards the eerily quiet house. The front door was ever so slightly ajar, splinters of wood littered the ground around it, suggesting had been forcibly ripped open with force. Not wanting to mess with any evidence, you carefully nudged the bottom of the door with the tip of your foot and slipped inside.

The quiet made you shiver.

“Jean? Jean are you there? …Nathan?” Your voice cracked, coming out much weaker than you intended it to.

Nothing.

You moved carefully further into the hallway, trying not to trip over your shaking legs. Evidence of some sort of scuffle marked the wooden floor, and you treaded carefully between the rubber marks that streaked the floor. A vase lay smashed on the floor, along with its flower contents. A painting sat lop-sided on the wall, its frame broken and hanging loosely like a broken appendage.

You swallowed deeply.

“Jean!?” You managed to raise your voice louder.

Holding your breath to hear better, you waited a moment. Just as you were just about to try again, you heard a muffled groan from one of the back rooms. Following your immediate instinct, you bolted in the direction of the noise, unceremoniously banging your side against the doorframe.

“Jean…”

Lying on her side, Jean was cradling her side as an ever-expanding puddle of blood haloed her head. Splatters of red marked the laminate floor, one of the largest laying underneath an abandoned poke that you presumed was from her fireplace. It was covered in blood.

The kitchen looked and smelled like a murder scene.

It took all your self-control not to vomit right there and then.

Uncaring of the blood, you knelt down and leaned over Jean to try and get a better look at her. She was barely awake, her breath coming out in short, shallow bursts. It looked like the majority of the bleeding had come from her head, which you immediately pressed with a towel that was nearby.

She murmured something that you were unable to hear, but you continued to quietly talk to her, looking over her to see if anything else was bleeding. Some of it could be internal, so you hoped that the ambulance would hurry the fuck up and get here already. Thankfully, the unmistakable sound of an ambulance closing in on your location steadied your shaking hands and you calm your nerves somewhat. Though you knew that this was far from over.

“The ambulance should be here any minute, so you’ll get some help in no time, okay Jean?”

Jean murmured something again, this time you lent in close to try and hear what she was saying. The smell of blood made your eyes water.

“Na..than.”

_‘Shit. Oh shit.’_

The sudden bustling noise of the ambulance crew entering the house brought you back to earth as you shouted them through. Nathan, you needed to make sure he was alright.

“Find…Nathan…please.” Jean gripped your hand in hers, blood sticking to your skin uncomfortably. Her eyes were wide, fear written across them so clearly. You squeezed her hand.

“I will, don’t worry. I-I will. I promise you I’m find him.”

Before you could say another word, you were ushered back by the paramedics who took charge, the adrenaline still running through you as you leant against the wall in fear of falling over.

You needed to find Nathan, and fast.

You stared down at your shaking hands. The blood. The _smell_ …

“Did you call the ambulance service, Ma’am?”

A paramedic queried softly, obviously noticing you were still in shock.

“Yes.”

He hummed in acknowledgement.

“I think you need to sit down for a while, you might go into shock and we need to be able to watch over you. If you’d like to come over here- “

“No, no I have…I have something to do first…”

“Ma’am, you really need to- “

He took a step forward and you moved towards the door, holding your hands up weakly to stop him from going after you any further.

“Please. I know you’re just trying to help, but I need to do something first.”

You were surprised at how level your voice sounded, even the paramedic looked a bit taken aback. You didn’t wait for his answer, and instead turned and left the kitchen to find Nathan. You didn’t hear footsteps following.

Careful not to lose your footing, you made a be-line for Nathans room. Where else would a scared child go to find safety?

You rounded the corner, one hand at the doorframe, feeling the splintered wood pierce your skin as you gripped it.

“Na-!”

The rest of his name caught in your throat as you saw the scene in front of you.

A body lay in a tangled mess on the floor. Mechanical pieces lay scattered across the room, the latter of which was sprayed with blue that continued to stream down the walls like water down a window. A section of a leg lay broken and beaten aside form it owner.

It was Nathan, but so much of him was twisted ripped apart that it was hard to really tell. Even parts of his skin had been pulled off. It was almost animalistic the way they tortured and maimed him.

It was sickening.

Although you were unsure if he was still alive, you sat down next to him, turning him over gently so that he faced you. Parts of his face looked more mechanical than human where the skin had been taken off.

You jumped when his eyes suddenly shot open, Thirium pooling in them like ink. They darted around, his chest rising and falling with such speed.

He was still alive.

You carefully lifted his upper half onto your lap, whispering calming words to the increasingly terrified child.

His wide, watery eyes stared up at you as the Thirum rolled down the side of his face.

“I…I’m scared.”

“I know…but… I’m here, and I’m not about to leave you alone.”

“You’ll stay?”

You held him closer, watching his LED start to lose its colour. He didn’t have long.

You forced away your tears to give him a soft smile;

“I’ll stay.”

“Prom-promise?” He managed to say through a shaky voice. You held his hand closely to your chest.

“I promise.”

You were supposed to be there for him, and you failed him completely. Not only that, you also failed Jean. Seeing him lying in your arms, unable to help him as his life was slipping away, you knew that you failed.

Very few words were shared between the two of you after that, not that you would have know what to say if you did. You watched as his LED began to slowly cut-out, until only one bar was left. It flickered red, as if it were trying to keep itself from completely going out.

Eventually, all colour left it.

Nathan lay limp, looking more at peace than he did when you first found him.

You continued to stay with him, gripping his unresponsive form closely in your arms. As if he could reboot himself and be alright again. That this whole thing was just some fever-dream that you’d wake up from and everything would be as it was before.

As you sat there, listening to the hurried voices of the paramedics and presumably police, you had to come to the reality that it was very real.

A firm but soft hand gripped your shoulder, its owner kneeling behind and to the right of you. You made no move to say or do anything, or to even acknowledge their existence.

“Ma’am? Are you alright?”

You sneered despite the fact he couldn’t see your face. How could he ask you a question like that? After everything that had happened?

The woman cleared her throat, her clothes rustling as she made a move to stand. She didn’t leave, though.

“The paramedics need to check you over, considering all that’s happened. Would you be okay with coming with me to the ambulance?”

She sounded young, unsure of what to do in a situation like this. After a moment of silence on your end, you heard her mutter something under her breath and leave the room. She didn’t leave completely however, and instead another set of footsteps joined hers and a far less calming voice rang in your ears;

“Alright Miss, you need to get up and go get checked on, this is now a crime scene and we need you out of here asap.”

This time, you turned to look at the pair. The man stood there, brazen as you please, fingers stuck in his belt loops that hung around his enlarged girth. The woman stood aside and to the back of the male officer, trying to look anywhere but the room.

“Do neither of you care about this? About what happened to him?”

You asked, nudging your head in the direction of the now limp body of Nathan. The officer looked quite confused for a moment, but then nodded slowly as if the realisation of what you asked suddenly came to him. He waved off the question.

“Don’t worry about it, we’ll get all the paperwork sorted for property damage an-“

“ _Property damage_?” You hissed the words through your teeth as if they stung.

You turned back to Nathan, looking over the face that had once been so happy and curious. How could anyone say that he was merely property.

“Property damage.” You breathed to no one in particular.

Settling his body down gently, you carefully got up on dead legs, hearing then creak in protest as you steadied yourself.

“His body should not be thrown away or tampered with, not until Mrs Lyons recovers and tells you what she would like have done for him.”

You stared down the male officer, almost daring him to pipe up and protest. Thankfully, he backed off with a nod, motioning his hand out towards the hallway. You were able to see Jean getting safely put into the back of one of the ambulances by some of the paramedics. She was still alive, and that was probably the only good thing to come of today.

As you sat inside the ambulance, your mind was stuck in a loop of the events that transpired. No matter how much you tried to think of anything else, images of what happened kept clouding your vision like a fog. When it wasn’t focused on what happened, it changed to what could happen. The fear of seeing Connor in such a way as Nathan was made you feel sick. Twisted, broken, unable to be saved. Your mind was cruel and continued these terrible images to surface in your mind.

The paramedics worked around you as you sat in contemplation, staring unblinking at your red and blue stained hands.

What they did, _how_ they did it, it shook you to your core.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After my waaay to long break, i've finally got around to making another chapter! I am so sorry for the long pause in updates, it was a mixture of holidays and work, but I am so glad i've (hopefully) got back into the swing of things. 
> 
> Also, sorry for having my first chapter back be a depressing one :( It was planned, the long break was not!
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, commenting and giving kudos! I appreciate all your support :D


	43. The Sting of Grief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'The only way to end grief was to go through it.'
> 
> ― Holly Black, The Darkest Part of the Forest

You walked back home, being in no fit state to be driving a car. You walked further and further from the crime scene in a numb daze that glazed over your mind like a fog. As if your body took full control of all your being. As if whatever was ‘you’ had been left behind in that broken-in home, and a shell of you was all that was left as you wandered away. The light of day was drawing to a close by the time you reached home, dropping your bag and jacket down haphazardly across her flat, unfazed by the blood and thirium that was probably now smeared across your floor. You ambled your way to the bathroom, stripped, and set the shower to a temperature that was usually far too hot for you. You needed to feel something else in that moment, even if it hurt.

Trying to distract your mind, you began to concentrate on the muted, clay colour of the tiles that surrounded you, not wanting your mind to stray back to what happened earlier that day. You tried to think about anything but that. You studied the shape of the tile, tracing your forefinger around the rough edges as if it were the most interesting thing in the universe. You hated the way the water caught and pooled around your eyes, feigning tears that you was trying so hard not to let loose.

This was too hard. Too damn hard. Everything you did was bringing you back to-

No, you wouldn’t think of it.

You finished up, dried, and began to clean up the flat in an attempt to keep your mind busy on something menial. You began cleaning the kitchen worktop,scrubbing so hard that your hand slipped and skidded on the surface, scratching your skin down the edge of the surface. You didn’t react to the pain. You simply stared out at nothing, hand clenched, almost drinking in the sting that danced across your knuckles.  After a moment, you bit down on your lower lip to hold yourself together, and continued.

Anything to take your mind from __it.__

__‘Damn mark’s still there. Still there.’_ _

Scrub, scrub, scrubbing hard enough to see your face in its surface. The shiny surface screeched every time you wiped, almost in protest at your aggressive assault. Your brows furrowed, the dark spot mocking you.

__‘It’s still there.’_ _

You pressed even harder, teeth clenched as you let out a hard, testy breath through your nose. Your grip on the cloth was so tight that your nails began to dig into the fleshy part of your palm. You pressed harder, and harder, and-

 ** **“FUUCK!**** ”

The word escaped your throat like a wild beast, a cross between a wail and a yell.The cloth flew and landed hard, clattering against some of your cooking utensils.

You had tried, tried so damn hard to just carry on, to let what had happened leave your mind even if just for a moment. To give you some feeling of peace, but all you had done was made it worse.

Letting your body slip down to the floor, you finally let all you had held within out in that moment. You didn’t cry hard, no wails of despair left your lips. You simply held your shaking, hands to your chest as you let the tears flow. You felt like a child again, curled up inside yourself as she quietly sobbed, feeling utterly fragile. You wanted, no, needed someone, anyone to be there with you,  to sit in quiet companionship as you grieved.

The quiet no longer felt comforting. The flat, hollow and empty.

Then, of course, your mind being what it is, turned your thoughts back to Nathan, to Jean, to their once comforting home. Images of Nathan’s broken body flooded your mind, and although you tried once again to pull away from those thoughts, you were dragged unwillingly back in. Ones mind can be your own worst enemy.

__‘I should never have gotten so close to them.’_ _

You frowned at your own thought, bowing your head and pressing it into the edge of your bended knees.

__‘It was all my fault, wasn’t it? All my fucking fault.’_ _

Maybe if you had never pushed yourself into their lives, they would have been fine, Nathan might still be alive. What had you __really__ done to help anyone? Created a club with like-minded people? That was hardly anything. Sure, you helped deviants escape but honestly what you actually did in those situations was minimal compared to what Kay and Marcus had done. __Are__ doing. You were little more than riding the coattails of others and taking in their accomplishments as your own. You were just some failed artist with delusions of grandeur.

 _ _Pathetic__ , your mind jeered. __Fucking pathetic…__

No. No, you had to stop thinking that way.

You knew that you could do one of two things at this point; give up on the whole deviant thing and let the others do what they were always capable of doing at the beginning, or actually commit to what you were always doing and actually make a real change.

Nathan was gone, but there were so many others that needed help. Running away from this would  do nothing but hurt more people you loved. You could continue to grieve, to mourn alone and loose yourself to it, but you knew that that would only heal the pain for so long. IT didn’t mean that you had to forget what had happened to Nathan, but instead to use the pain and grief to move forward with your life. It was time to stop being a bystander and take progressive action, to stand up alongside the deviants rather than help from within the shadows. . It may ruin your life, your future, but it was for a cause that was worth it.

And you had so much to lose now. You had a renewed purpose.

For the Androids. For Kay.

For Nathan’s memory.

For Connor.

Your heart skipped at the thought of him.

__‘Connor.’_ _

He alone was reason enough to keep going.

Wiping the dried tears from your face, you took a few deep breaths before getting back up onto your feet. You took a moment to compose yourself, to calm your mind before doing anything else.

You were no longer going to sit on the wall, unwilling to devote yourself fully. Even if that meant loosing everything you had built, being shunned from society and branded a traitor to humanity. You knew, you would always know, that you did the right thing.

Going back to the bathroom to freshen yourself up, you were  confronted with a tired, red-faced woman staring back at you through the mirror. You hadn’t looked at yourself when you came back, not that you would have cared what you looked like when you were in that state. The stress of the last few hours (technically weeks) were shown clearly on your features. You scrubbed your face, the cool water waking you up and washing away the remains of tears that stuck to your skin. After fixing up your mess of hair, you found that those simple self-care measures made you feel twenty times better than you did an hour ago.

You have to start somewhere after all, what better time than right now?

Next thing on the agenda was to get in touch with Markus and make a move towards something big; to show Detroit, the world, that deviants were a group of people that needed to be listened to and accepted.

You were just about to log into your computer and get in contact with Kay when the familiar jingle of your doorbell stopped you in your tracks. A part of you stilled, fearful of who that could possibly be, especially as it was now late evening. Then you remembered that the police had told you before you left that they may come round to discuss what happened earlier. You were in no mood to talk to them right now, but you were at least thankful you were not in the state you had been earlier.

Fixing yourself up to look a bit more presentable, you opened up the door.

Only for said door to be slammed into you, sending you stumbling backwards. You were barely able to catch yourself on a nearby chair before you fell.

You were about to curse at whoever was there, but when your eyes met with __his__ , your words caught in your throat and all confidence left you.

Liam sneered, his lip curled up in a snarl;

“Did you miss me?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to apologise for the long, long hiatus there has been between this chapter and the last. A multitude of different things have happened these last months after the previous chapter that pulled me away from this series. I'm sorry for the long wait, but i'll do my best to get back onto writing these more regularly than every few months :)
> 
> As always, many thanks for the comments and kudos, and a special thanks to all of you for being so patient. You're all the reason why I keep writing :)


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